FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sat Jul 10 10 29 50 2010
GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?
TRIP
What, Grace... this?
GRACE
Yes, you know how I feel about it --
TRIP
I know I know I'll do it right now, alright?!
GRACE
You know I've had to ask you about this several --
TRIP
Get off my back! I'll get rid of it in just a minute!
(Kha knocks on the front door.)
(Kha knocks on the front door.)
TRIP
Uhp, he's here!
GRACE
What?! You said he's coming an hour from now!
TRIP
No, he's supposed to be here now!
GRACE
Trip...!
(Trip opens the front door.)
TRIP
Kha!!
KHA
hi trip
TRIP
Ah I'm so happy you could make it! -- (interrupted)
TRIP
Ha ha, hi!
TRIP
Wow, it's really really great to see you.
TRIP
Well come on in!
TRIP
Uh, let me go get Grace...
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)
GRACE
Kha,
GRACE
Hi! How are you? Oh god it's been such a long time! -- (interrupted)
KHA
hi grace
GRACE
H-mmm (happy smile sound)
GRACE
By the way, you look fabulous!
GRACE
Make yourself at home, come on in!
TRIP
I'm just going to go close the door.
TRIP
Heh heh, Kha, seeing you brings back good memories, you know?
(Trip closes the front door.)
GRACE
Yes, it does. H-mmm (happy smile sound)
TRIP
Hey, I just realized something.
GRACE
What...
TRIP
We have to celebrate! Tonight's a special night!
GRACE
It is?
KHA
it is.
TRIP
Uh -- well, tonight is special!
TRIP
Kha, remember, it was almost exactly ten years ago, tonight, that you introduced us.
TRIP
Senior year of college!
GRACE
Oh... geez... -- (interrupted)
KHA
yes it was ten years
TRIP
We really want to thank you for years and years of...
(KHA picks up the brass bull.)
TRIP
Oh, that brass bull, that's a gift from my business contact in Barcelona -- -- (interrupted)
(KHA puts down the brass bull.)
GRACE
What is that doing out here? Didn't I ask you to put that away?
TRIP
Uh, yeah, I will, later, after our friend leaves.
GRACE
(frustrated sigh)
GRACE
Well... it didn't take long for you two to... bond, or whatever...
TRIP
Oh, Kha, I thought you might like this photo I just put up from our recent trip to Italy.
GRACE
Might like it? It's a beautiful picture of the Italian countryside, of course he'll like it!
GRACE
By the way, anybody, join me on the couch if you like.
TRIP
Um... now,, Kha, what does this picture make you think of?
GRACE
Think of? Ha ha. That's easy. -- (interrupted)
KHA
italy
TRIP
Well, actually, this trip to Italy was meant to be our second honeymoon!
GRACE
Oh, was that what that was? Huh, I'm always the last to know.
TRIP
Uh, um, so, uh, -- (interrupted)
KHA
why?
GRACE
Kha, -- (interrupted)
TRIP
Oh, I didn't think you wanted to hear about the Italy trip tonight... (clears throat)
TRIP
What? No, I'm just playing around, it -- it's easy... the answer is romance. Romance. That's all. It's no big deal. Sorry. Sorry!
GRACE
Uhh... I'll take the picture down later tonight before I go to bed.
TRIP
uhh...
(Trip shakes the advice ball.)
TRIP
Why not?
TRIP
Huh!
GRACE
(little sigh)
GRACE
(big sigh)
GRACE
Oh God, Kha, this isn't much fun for you, is it?
TRIP
What?
GRACE
Trip, have you noticed, we're fighting in front of our friend.
TRIP
Grace, come on, that kind of statement is not helpful...
GRACE
Trip, there's nothing wrong with disagreeing in front -- (interrupted)
KHA
why do you fight?
GRACE
Hold on...
GRACE
You think I'm...
GRACE
angry...
TRIP
Ha ha, ha, oh, you're -- you're quite the kidder tonight, ha ha ha...
GRACE
Ha, yeah, ha ha...
KHA
you seem both seem angery
TRIP
Ha ha, heh, never afraid to say anything that pops into your mind, ha heh heh...
TRIP
What...? -- (interrupted)
GRACE
You know, ever since we got married, I can't help it, I'm forever buying new furniture and redecorating,
GRACE
I -- I really enjoy it -- -- (interrupted)
KHA
why?
TRIP
See, try to understand, even after a full day's work designing magazine ads,
TRIP
Grace somehow finds the time to decorate and and and and redecorate --
GRACE
I could never do this, but sometimes I want to start fresh and paint free form all over the walls with a big messy brush...
GRACE
(frustrated sigh)
TRIP
(annoyed sigh)
KHA
painting is good
TRIP
Ah, right, right, Kha, of course you like it!
TRIP
See Grace you have no reason to complain -- there's just nothing to complain about.
GRACE
(annoyed sigh)
GRACE
So I normally like redecorating...
GRACE
Kha, now be honest with me, agree that this room just does not work!
TRIP
Grace, come on, what are you talking about? -- (interrupted)
KHA
why?
GRACE
Yeah...
GRACE
All day at work I design ads for decorative objects, like these sculptures,
GRACE
and then I think, I want to design them into my apartment --
TRIP
Oh yeah, yeah, everybody always says how much they love Grace's sculptures!
GRACE
but... now I can't take the sight of them! They're revolting! -- (interrupted)
(KHA picks up a trinket 6.)
(KHA puts down a trinket 6.)
GRACE
Uh, well, these sculptures are an eyesore, aren't they?
TRIP
(little impatient sigh)
(KHA picks up a trinket 5.)
(KHA puts down a trinket 5.)
GRACE
(frustrated sigh) -- (interrupted)
(KHA picks up a trinket 8.)
(KHA puts down a trinket 8.)
GRACE
I'm sure I can return most of this, and try to start over again on this room...
KHA
why?
GRACE
(frustrated sigh)
(KHA sits on the couch.)
TRIP
Grace, everything's fine, no one is complaining about your decorating!
(KHA gets up from the couch.)
GRACE
No, he is just being courteous... this room is not --
TRIP
Uhh, Grace, come on, people like it, you're the only one --
KHA
why?
GRACE
You know, Trip, if you hadn't convinced me to go into advertising, I could have painted that painting on the wall instead of buying it!
TRIP
You're never happy...
TRIP
Uhh, let's not talk about the damn decorating anymore...
KHA
the painting is good
(KHA sits on the couch.)
(KHA gets up from the couch.)
GRACE
Oh! huh... thanks...
TRIP
Kha, I think you're trying to get on Grace's good side tonight.
GRACE
(clears throat)
TRIP
No one has a problem with your decorating but you.
GRACE
Yeah. Anyway...
(Trip shakes the advice ball.)
TRIP
No doubt about it, huh.
TRIP
Uhh, yeah, right...
GRACE
Oh God, Trip, if I have to hear that thing one more time, I'm going to go insane, please!
TRIP
Sorry! I like it, okay?! It's just a toy.
TRIP
(frustrated sigh)
TRIP
Oh no, Kha, -- (interrupted)
KHA
i must go to the bathroom.
TRIP
Uh, well, uh -- we need drinks!
GRACE
Trip would try to serve you one of his high class drinks before even saying hello if he could.
TRIP
Why don't I make us one of my new drink inventions,
(KHA picks up the advice ball.)
TRIP
I call it Grace's Inner Soul.
(The advice ball reads, "Perhaps Soon")
TRIP
It's a mixture of chardonnay, bitters and lots of ice.
(KHA puts down the advice ball.)
GRACE
It's a secret -- Trip doesn't even like the taste of alcohol.
TRIP
What?! So, uhh,
TRIP
Kha, how -- how does that sound?
KHA
ill have a bloody mary
TRIP
You -- you don't want my invention?
GRACE
Kha, I think you'd prefer something simple and light, like a nice glass of chardonnay, yes?
TRIP
(exhale very tense)
KHA
ill have what grace is having.
GRACE
Okay, Trip, that's what he wants!
TRIP
No, this is not the way to celebrate our get-together...
GRACE
How about this, you open up one of those big three gallon jugs of red wine, like your dad did that first time we had dinner at your parents' house!
TRIP
What?
GRACE
Yeah your parents would never drink these shi-shi roostertails you try to impress people with, your parents drink the real thing, you know, those huge gallon jugs of --
(KHA picks up the advice ball.)
(The advice ball reads, "Why Not")
TRIP
Are you trying to embarrass me?
(KHA shakes the advice ball.)
(The advice ball reads, "No")
GRACE
What -- no, I thought it was fun, I really liked that about your parents --
TRIP
Bullstuff!
(KHA puts down the advice ball.)
KHA
why?
GRACE
What, what's that, what are you saying?
GRACE
I'm trying to embarrass you...
GRACE
You seem so embarrassed about yourself, about your family, for no good reason! There's no reason!
KHA
why do you argue?
GRACE
Look, you're going to really make it bad if you keep criticizing me!
TRIP
Goddamn italy...
TRIP
I try to reach out to you, I try to be romantic with you, but you're cold, and distant! I do, I really try!
GRACE
Oh, yeah, yeah, right!
(KHA uses the answering machine.)
ANSWERING MACHINE
No new messages
GRACE
Alright, you know what, Kha,
(KHA picks up the advice ball.)
GRACE
I need to ask you something.
(The advice ball reads, "Who Knows")
TRIP
Grace --
(KHA puts down the advice ball.)
GRACE
Trip, let me ask our guest a question.
GRACE
Kha, yes or no...
GRACE
In a marriage, shouldn't you try to help the other person get what they want?
TRIP
What?
KHA
yes.
TRIP
What...?!
TRIP
Oh, yeah, that's fine... that's fine...
(KHA sits on the couch.)
TRIP
Uhh, I try so hard to reach out to you, Grace, and you reject me! You're cold! You're distant! I can't keep going this way, it's killing me!
GRACE
Oh, that's great Trip!
(KHA gets up from the couch.)
GRACE
Uhh! Yeah, good, go away!
KHA
why are you cold and distant grace
GRACE
I don't want to look at you!
GRACE
Goddammit!
GRACE
uhh!
GRACE
Kha, I -- I'm sorry... this is a disaster...
(KHA sits on the couch.)
(KHA gets up from the couch.)
GRACE
uhh...
(KHA picks up the phone.)
GRACE
Look, if you want to leave, I...
(KHA puts down the phone.)
GRACE
Oh, God...
TRIP
What? I can't hear a goddamn word you're saying!
KHA
ill go now
GRACE
What? What are you saying?
(KHA knocks on the front door.)
(KHA opens the front door.)
TRIP
What? Are you talking about me in there?
(KHA knocks on the front door.)
GRACE
I'm not talking to you!
(KHA knocks on the front door.)
(KHA knocks on the front door.)
(KHA knocks on the front door.)
(KHA knocks on the front door.)
(KHA knocks on the front door.)
(KHA knocks on the front door.)
TRIP
Kha, from what you said before, about saying yes... I think we've already learned something about Grace.
(KHA knocks on the front door.)
GRACE
Oh, we're talking about me again, are we?
TRIP
What?
TRIP
Grace, even though you're now a creative director at work,
(KHA knocks on the front door.)
(KHA closes the front door.)
TRIP
the truth is... you're not an artist.
GRACE
Uhh...!
TRIP
I'm sorry, you're not.
GRACE
Kha, uhh...
(KHA picks up the advice ball.)
(The advice ball reads, "It's Definite")
(KHA puts down the advice ball.)
GRACE
Kha, you see, this is what I've had to put up with, for ten goddamn years.
TRIP
Look, let's not focus on just me or you, let's talk about us both.
GRACE
You know what's so annoying, is when you pretend to be all 'romantic'!
KHA
why?
TRIP
Why?
TRIP
Grace, I'm not 'acting' when I'm being romantic... God damn...!
GRACE
(frustrated sigh)
KHA
is that the truth trip?
TRIP
Kha, what, is there something I should do?
TRIP
Let's keep talking about us both, not just one of us.
GRACE
Kha, it's time that Trip finally just admits that our marriage --
TRIP
Grace, don't, no, you don't need to --
GRACE
Admits that our marriage is not --
TRIP
Stop it, stop it! (annoyed -- (interrupted)
KHA
why?
GRACE
Why?
GRACE
Ah, thank you, just saying that helps me!
GRACE
See, this -- this is how it's been for the past ten years!
(KHA picks up a martini glass 1.)
TRIP
Kha, come on, I don't feel like fixing drinks at this moment!
(KHA puts down a martini glass 1.)
GRACE
Let's talk some more about us, our relationship. -- (interrupted)
TRIP
It's so annoying... Grace, why is it that anytime I want to do something nice for you, you resist it?
KHA
why?
GRACE
Trip... -- (interrupted)
TRIP
Why?
TRIP
Ah, thank you, just saying that helps!
GRACE
Trip, maybe if you didn't try to 'convince' me of things, I might want them more...?!
TRIP
Oh, Christ.
KHA
why grace?
TRIP
Okay, I'm sick of this bullstuff!!
TRIP
Kha, I know what you're hinting at, okay?!
TRIP
about us...
TRIP
about our marriage...
TRIP
Do you really want the truth? Huh?
KHA
yes
TRIP
Grace, huh?
GRACE
Yes...!
TRIP
See, Kha, I've been paying attention to what you've been saying tonight.
TRIP
You've really been pushing me tonight.
TRIP
It makes me wonder if you're really my friend or not.
GRACE
Trip!
TRIP
Kha, come on -- yes or no...
TRIP
Do you really think that...
KHA
both of you are my friends
TRIP
praising Grace...
TRIP
but especially what you said about saying 'yes' to the other person...
TRIP
that we'll somehow realize something about our marriage?
TRIP
Is what you've said tonight supposed to add up somehow, to something?
KHA
yes
TRIP
Alright.
(KHA picks up the advice ball.)
TRIP
Grace...
(The advice ball reads, "I Doubt It")
(KHA puts down the advice ball.)
TRIP
uhh...
TRIP
I forced you to marry me, didn't I.
(KHA picks up the phone.)
TRIP
When I proposed to you, in front of your parents, on Christmas Eve, and...
(KHA puts down the phone.)
TRIP
I knew you wouldn't be capable of saying no.
GRACE
You manipulated me.
TRIP
Yes.
GRACE
And I never did anything about it.
GRACE
And here we are.
KHA
why?
TRIP
uhh...
GRACE
uhh...
GRACE
Oh my God...!
TRIP
Kha, I --
GRACE
I'm going to give you the truth too, Trip.
TRIP
What?!
GRACE
Trip...
GRACE
uhh...
GRACE
In college... I was in love with someone else.
TRIP
What?!
GRACE
An art major, named Vince.
TRIP
An art major named Vince --
GRACE
And...
GRACE
And I slept with him.
KHA
why?
TRIP
Y -- y -- you what?
GRACE
The night before you proposed to me.
GRACE
I jinxed our marriage, Trip.
GRACE
I jinxed it. I'm sorry.
GRACE
This is all my fault.
TRIP
Uhh... huhh... ho... wow... uhh...
KHA
you can make the marrige better
TRIP
Uhh... I'm glad you finally told me.
TRIP
Jesus...!
TRIP
Okay, Kha, Grace, I have one more thing to say...
GRACE
Again?!
TRIP
Grace...
TRIP
uhh...
TRIP
I've been having an affair.
GRACE
Oh my God.
TRIP
It's over now, though.
GRACE
But how could you --
TRIP
(big sigh) with the client, in, uh, Barcelona.
GRACE
Maria.
TRIP
I was lonely, Grace.
TRIP
But, but, I -- I regret it, I really, really regret it.
TRIP
uhh...
GRACE
uhh...
GRACE
Oh my God...!
GRACE
This changes everything...
TRIP
Yeah.
GRACE
You finally admitted it -- you felt very alone... and you had an affair...
TRIP
You feel like you ruined everything from the start...
TRIP
I manipulated you into marrying me...
GRACE
No, I -- I let it happen...
TRIP
Kha, I --
GRACE
Kha, we...
TRIP
Look, uh, we need to talk...
GRACE
Yeah.
TRIP
Kha, Thanks for coming over, you... I think you helped us.
KHA
i hope you will still be married
(Trip opens the front door.)
TRIP
And no, Kha, you don't need to say anything more...
KHA
bye
GRACE
Bye. Thanks. -- (interrupted)
(KHA points to the elevator button.)
(KHA points to the elevator button.)
i winnar
