Façade - The whole game is a glitch

Author Topic: Façade - The whole game is a glitch  (Read 18663 times)


FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sun Jul 11 14 25 36 2010

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

TRIP
What, Grace... this?

(Brad knocks on the front door.)

(Brad knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
Yes, you -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Uhp, he's here!

GRACE
What?! You said he's coming an hour from now!

TRIP
No, he's supposed to be here now!

GRACE
Trip...!

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Brad!!

TRIP
Hi! It's so great to see you!     -- (interrupted)

BRAD
YAY snake

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

GRACE
Brad,

GRACE
Hi!  How are you?  Oh god it's been such a long time!

(BRAD kisses grace.)

GRACE
Oh, yes, let's...  (polite kiss on cheek) -- (interrupted)

BRAD
hey

GRACE
Aw, ha ha ha!

(BRAD kisses trip.)

TRIP
Oh, uh, ha ha!  You're kissing me!  You're so funny! 

BRAD
hey

(BRAD points to the italy picture.)

GRACE
Oh... ha ha ha...

(BRAD points to the italy picture.)

(BRAD points to the italy picture.)

(BRAD points to the italy picture.)

(BRAD points to the italy picture.)

(BRAD points to the italy picture.)

(BRAD points to the italy picture.)

(BRAD points to the italy picture.)

GRACE
So, come in, make yourself at home...

BRAD
It says...

BRAD
sion

TRIP
Whoops, I need to go close the door. 

TRIP
Yeah, that's a new photo from our trip to Italy a couple of weeks ago...

(Trip closes the front door.)

BRAD
Oppresion

TRIP
W -- well, um, come look at this Italy photo!

GRACE
Brad,  come over here and sit on the couch with me.

TRIP
No, hold on.  Now,      Brad,  what does this picture make you think of?

BRAD
I need to make fun of this

TRIP
No, I just want one word...

GRACE
How about tiresome.

TRIP
Grace, please.   -- (interrupted)

BRAD
Oppresion

TRIP
Romance!  It says... romance...!

GRACE
(little sigh)

BRAD
That's not what I said you fool

TRIP
What...?     Brad,  I --

BRAD
said

GRACE
Trip, that was just a well-intentioned little poke in the ribs between friends.  That's all. -- (interrupted)

TRIP
 Huh, oh, well --

BRAD
OPPRESION

GRACE
Well, we're all friends here...

BRAD
forget THA' PO-LICE

GRACE
You...

GRACE
You think we should....

GRACE
have more love...   

PHONE
** RING **

BRAD
Yes

TRIP
Ho ho ho, ha, heh you're -- you're really joking around tonight, aren't you, ha ha ha...

PHONE
** RING **

BRAD
With me

PHONE
** RING **

GRACE
Ha, yeah, ha ha...

TRIP
Ha ha, heh, never afraid to say anything that pops into your mind, ha heh heh...

PHONE
** RING **

ANSWERING MACHINE
** click **

ANSWERING MACHINE
You've reached the fabulous new home of Grace and Trip.  Leave us a message!

BRAD
Grace, you and me should have love

GRACE
Wait...

ANSWERING MACHINE
** beep **

GRACE
You think we should....

BRAD
Intercourse

GRACE
have more love...   

ANSWERING MACHINE
Grace, this is your father, I thought I'd call to see how my lovely daughter is doing.

TRIP
Ah...  ha ha... heh heh... ah, you're, uh... you're...

ANSWERING MACHINE
I want you and Trip to come up to the house this weekend, your mother and I are throwing a party for a senior VP at the firm, and you should be there.

GRACE
Wait, wait -- what is he --

TRIP
No no, Grace, no no, he's just... testing us tonight, I think, heh... it's funny...

ANSWERING MACHINE
Oh, and be sure to arrive early, I want to talk to you about this business about why you won't be attending your mother's Christmas Eve gala.

BRAD
You. monday. Drinks. Now.

TRIP
uh... uh, heh heh... -- (interrupted)

GRACE
uh...!

ANSWERING MACHINE
(clear throat) So, that's all.  Uh, goodbye.

TRIP
geez, I'm not, uh...

GRACE
uuh...!

TRIP
wha...

GRACE
ha ha ha...

TRIP
ha ha...

GRACE
ha ha ha ha ha!!

BRAD
Drinks you forgeter.

BRAD
I'm loving thirsty

GRACE
uh...

GRACE
I -- I... -- (interrupted)

TRIP
We need to um... uh...

BRAD
I'm about to turn to dust

TRIP
We've got to remind the, uh...

BRAD
I need to hydrate myself

GRACE
Yeah, yeah...

TRIP
that lady who, uh, brings us fresh herbs...

GRACE
make sure... uh, they don't make that mistake again...

TRIP
Ah, yes, right!  Yeah...

TRIP
(long release sigh)

TRIP
yeah...

TRIP
Brad,  let me get you a drink.

BRAD
What are you talking about?

TRIP
Alright,    Brad,  that's it, you've got to leave.

BRAD
I did some cocaine before I came

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
We'll be fine -- you just have to go.

(Trip closes the front door.)

BRAD
soryy

BRAD
Love you

I asked how old she was and they both stopped, and have been giving me dirty looks for like 5 minutes now without saying anything or answering me :o

« Last Edit: July 11, 2010, 01:34:42 PM by SeventhSandwich »

'You guys look great!'

'Are you flirting with me?'

'What.'

Can you stop posting conversations?
If you will, use http://www.freetexthost.com :/


(Trip)Hi Tom it's good to see you!
(Trip)let me make you one of my great drinks!
Later...
(Grace) Trip don't leave me!
(Me) who's going to make me these great drinks?!

(Jim knocks on the front door.)

(Jim knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
Yes, you know -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Uhp, he's here!

GRACE
What?! You said he's coming an hour from now!

TRIP
No, he's supposed to be here now!

GRACE
Trip...!

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Jim!!

TRIP
Hi! It's so great to see you!     -- (interrupted)

JIM
oh no its an ass monster

(Trip closes the front door.)

JIM
hi

:(

Yeah don't open up with "divorce".

TRIP
Chris, you know what? You should just go. We'll be fine, just leave.

(Trip closes the door.)

CHRIS
BUT, YOUR PHONE.

He forced me out the door after picking up the phone, standing near the door, and he pushed me out, which lead me to "stealing" it.

By the way, when I try to get my stageplay, it says no file of it was detected and it opens Notepad.


FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sun Jul 11 20 51 21 2010

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

TRIP
What, Grace... this?

GRACE
Yes, you know how I feel about it --

TRIP
I know I know I'll do it right now, alright?!

GRACE
You know I've had to ask you about this several --

TRIP
Get off my back!  I'll get rid of it in just a minute!

GRACE
Fine, Trip... fine...

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Adam!!

TRIP
Hey!  I thought I heard someone out here! Great to see you!  It's been a while, how's it going?

ADAM
You scared the stuff out of me.

TRIP
Uh...

TRIP
Well, anyway... why don't you come in...

ADAM
Alright.

TRIP
Y -- yeah, come in, heh...

TRIP
Uh, I'll -- I'll go get Grace...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

ADAM
Alright.

(ADAM closes the front door.)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing) -- (interrupted)

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

GRACE
Adam,

GRACE
Hi!  How are you?  I'm so happy to see you after so long!

TRIP
Yeah, it's been too long.

GRACE
And I have to say, you look great.

ADAM
Thanks.

GRACE
Aw, H-mmm (happy smile sound)

GRACE
Well, come on in, make yourself at home!

ADAM
Trip, why'd you wake me up?

GRACE
Uh...

ADAM
Answer me.

TRIP
Uh -- well, um, we should drink.

TRIP
Anything you want!

TRIP
How about a martini?

TRIP
The guy I play squash with introduced me to this drink, it's really -- (interrupted)

ADAM
Yup.

TRIP
Ah!  I knew it.

TRIP
Beautiful!

GRACE
Adam,  I think you'd prefer something simple and light, like a nice glass of chardonnay, yes?

TRIP
Grace... come on...!

ADAM
Yes.

GRACE
Okay, Trip, that's what he wants!

TRIP
  Yeah, sure, sure, okay...

TRIP
We can try my new roostertail accessories some other time.

ADAM
Trip, listen to me.

TRIP
Grace, maybe at least you'll drink with me?  I'll make us something -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Wait...

ADAM
You woke me up.

TRIP
You think I'm...

TRIP
communicative...   

ADAM
It's 6:00 AM

TRIP
Ha ha, ha, oh, you're -- you're quite the kidder tonight, ha ha ha...

GRACE
Ha, yeah, ha ha... -- (interrupted)

ADAM
Shut up, tonight?

TRIP
uh, um...

GRACE
uh...

TRIP
you, uh...

ADAM
It's loving 6:00 AM.

TRIP
(nervous coughing)

GRACE
wha -- huh...

TRIP
ha ha...

GRACE
ha ha ha ha ha, heh...

TRIP
ha ha ha!

GRACE
ha ha ha ha!!

ADAM
What?

TRIP
Ha ha ha,    Adam,

GRACE
heh heh heh...

TRIP
heh, you had me going there for a sec...

ADAM
WHAT?

TRIP
heh, ha ha...

TRIP
Never afraid to push your luck, heh heh...

ADAM
I AM TIRED.

TRIP
mess with us ...

TRIP
heh heh, you're crazy, heh, you know that?

TRIP
heh, ha ha...

ADAM
Jesus christ.

TRIP
(big sigh)

TRIP
Uhh, any -- anyway, uh... what were we talking about?

(ADAM points to the wedding photo.)

GRACE
Yeah,  ha, maybe you can give me your honest opinion about where I went wrong with my new decorating, uhh... 

TRIP
Oh, Grace, no, no, h -- how can you say that?

GRACE
(little sigh)

ADAM
Needs less black.

GRACE
Oh, um, well... I -- I want to ask you...

GRACE
Uhh, you know, when I look at this wedding picture, hanging here in this room...

TRIP
Oh yeah, yeah, it -- it's the first thing everyone notices when they come in!

GRACE
it simply... doesn't go anymore... I mean, with my new decorating and all.

TRIP
Oh no, no...    Adam,  it looks good here...

(ADAM picks up the phone.)

TRIP
Grace, everything's fine, no one is complaining about your decorating...

(ADAM puts down the phone.)

(ADAM uses the answering machine.)

ANSWERING MACHINE
No new messages

GRACE
Trip, I'm sorry but this room is just not working...  I'm going to return what furniture I can, and redo it.

(ADAM uses the answering machine.)

ANSWERING MACHINE
No new messages

TRIP
(annoyed sigh) God, you're such a perfectionist. 

GRACE
Oh I didn't want my decorating to become a major topic of conversation tonight... I'm going to get it redone this week, so...

ADAM
So, why'd you call me here?

TRIP
Anyway...

TRIP
Grace, come on, it's not helping things for you to say that... -- (interrupted)

ADAM
Answer me.

TRIP
W -- wait, wait, b - but, no no, w - we're -- we're not disagreeing.

GRACE
(happy but tense sigh)

GRACE
Adam,

GRACE
you and I are getting along so well tonight... 

ADAM
What

GRACE
Stay there for a -- (interrupted)

GRACE
W -- well, wait, stay there for a sec.

GRACE
Ugh, I'm getting so tired of looking at this god awful couch. 

GRACE
Maybe if I replaced it with... um...

TRIP
Do you... do you remember, Grace...

ADAM
A stripper pole

GRACE
What.

TRIP
How I proposed to you.

GRACE
Oh, God, Trip --

TRIP
Here,    Adam,  I'll show you. 

TRIP
It was at Grace's parents' house, Christmas, senior year of college --

GRACE
Trip, what are you doing?!

TRIP
I got on one knee, in front of everybody, and --

GRACE
Stop it, Trip!

TRIP
I pulled out a diamond ring --

GRACE
Trip!

TRIP
And I said, Grace, will you marry me?

TRIP
Heh, is -- is that romantic or what?!

TRIP
Adam,  -- (interrupted)

ADAM
Sure

GRACE
Oh, God,    Adam,  you think this is romantic?   (frustrated sigh)

TRIP
Grace, our friend agrees, what could be more romantic than that?

ADAM
I know i'm tired as hell.

GRACE
No, no no no, that was just really, really embarrassing...

TRIP
Grace, I -- I just wanted to share that moment with our friend.

(ADAM sits on the couch.)

TRIP
Okay, well, I was worried there for a bit you were on Grace's side tonight, heh heh, heh.

(ADAM gets up from the couch.)

TRIP
Oh,    Adam,  I thought you might like this photo I just put up from our recent trip to Italy.

GRACE
Uhh, it's a beautiful picture of the Italian countryside, of course he'll like it!

ADAM
I can't even see it

TRIP
Oh, you'll never guess where I took that picture.

GRACE
Is this really something you want to brag about, Trip?

TRIP
(little sigh) -- (interrupted)

ADAM
No I won''t

TRIP
Oh, okay... 

GRACE
By the way, anybody, join me on the couch if you like.

GRACE
Adam,  this is making you uncomfortable.   See Trip, was it really worth it to fly us all the way to Italy so you could take that inane picture?

(ADAM sits on the couch.)

GRACE
  (little sigh) I'll take the picture down later tonight before I go to bed.

TRIP
Grace...!

TRIP
(short petulant sigh)

TRIP
Adam,  this trip to Italy was meant to be our second honeymoon.

GRACE
Oh, was that what it was?  Huh, I'm always the last to know.

TRIP
Grace, I wanted us to spend some time together...!

ADAM
Holy stuff if you guys start arguing

TRIP
Uhh, you're driving me insane!

TRIP
Goddamn italy...

TRIP
I try to reach out to you, I try to be romantic with you, but you're cold, and distant!  I do, I really try!

GRACE
(impatient sigh)     Adam,  I...

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

TRIP
Oh, yeah, you...

TRIP
I know what you're about to say...

TRIP
All your goddamn over brown townytical explanations...!

ADAM
SHUT THE forget UP

GRACE
What?!?  That's really rude, where did that come from?  You're acting crazy!

ADAM
YOUR MOM

TRIP
What, what's that, what are you saying, what?

GRACE
Every woman's dream...

GRACE
Trip, you think you're so romantic... but no you're trying to manipulate me! -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Oh, Jesus...! -- (interrupted)

ADAM
shut up, both of you.

TRIP
Okay,    Adam,  you know what?  I think you should leave.

ADAM
forget YOU

TRIP
We can put up with a lot, but we have our limits, you know?

ADAM
YES I SHOULD

ADAM
Let go friend.

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
We'll be fine -- just go.

(Trip closes the front door.)

ADAM
forget  you.

(ADAM points to the elevator button.)

(ADAM points to the elevator button.)


This is because of the fact that the opening cutscene is him calling you.

I sometimes drink her Chardonnay.

And also once I asked him about his advice ball, he got upset like, 'GET AWAY FROM ME, BITCH.'

I WILL CONQUER YOUR COUCH.... IT IS MY COUCH NOW.

Say "The wedding picture doesnt fit" and they get angry

ENTIRE GAME IS GLITCH