1.When the light turns green, wait until it turns yellow to go.
2.When the cashier asks you if you found everything okay, instead of saying 'yes', go into depth about the various items you could not find.
3.In high school I took a square piece of tinfoil and put it over a hotwheels sized RC car in the lunchroom. Teacher tried to pick up piece of trash and I drove it away. Did this for like 2 minutes until she got so fucking fed up that she just stomped on it.
4.When you meet someone tell them you "got the thing," look around in your pockets and pretend you can't find it to build up suspense.
then say oh here it is, pull your hand out of your pocket and show them a middle finger.
When you go to the restroom, piss on the stalls
If a teacher asks who owns a certain paper, say it's yours and when they hand it to you, say it isn't yours, Repeat.
Talk about how being a furry is good for you in front of everybody else
Wield a sign that says something positive about gay sex
Smile LIKE a troll, it actually works, people go "Dude, what the fuck are you doing"
When you go to the restroom, wipe your ass with the toilet paper, and leave it laying around
Engrave "Umad?" into the stall of a restroom
Write "imma furry" on your knuckles. (it works)
Also, when you are taking a class, clear your throat a bunch of times, and cough loudly.
drive like a fucking crazy maniac with balloons shaped like nukes attached to your car
Search for stupid emo faggot on facebook and post shit like "down the river not across the street noob"
Sit on somebodys roof and say "Gonna get raped" (i did this, and quickly got the hell out of there)
Say "your mom" a lot
Tell people they're gay, even if it's a girl
Say "Thats what she said" a lot
Hold the door for somebody, and before they walk through, slam it in their face
FOUR TIMES BRO
Here it comes
show that fake news site "The onion" to somebody and insist it is true until they walk off, and when they do, go WOAH! THATS SO COOL!
Use that retarded insult Cool=constipated overweight old lady
Fart and blame it on people
Say something other than what somebody told you to say, followed by "pass it on" best if what you say is some kind of rumor
Bring a slide whistle/spinner whistle to school, and blow the fuck out of it when your teacher turns, then quickly stuff it in your pocket
say BUTTSEX ISN'T COOL repeatedly in the hallways
Punch/kick random assholes in the balls, then run like hell, once again screaming "FUCK YOOU"
The funniest part is that i've actually done a lot of these things
When your teacher is talking say loudly "OW PAPERCUT" followed by a coolface, repeat.
tell people they're fyat, then when they deny it, boobcheck 'em
Buy a twenty-pack of those little evergreen car fresheners.
Find a trusty screwdriver, preferrably with a skinny-bit, if possible.
Somehow gain entry to where this person lives, when they're not around.
Put little trees everywhere, hide them wherever you find space. My favorites:
-Under heavy stuff (TVs, monitors, furniture)
So, they easily detect the smell when they come back. They search for a few minutes, find one of the trees, toss it out, and assume they're out of the woods. A few hours later, the scent is still strong, so they look again. Again, the find the tree, discard it, and think they're all done. This continues until they just can't find some (like inside the keyboard).
Offer solace (or hints) in exchange for sexual favors.
This last part is my favorite.
It's not trolling on this forum, its trolling in life
there's no rule against that
Insist your "parts" hurt and when people ask if you're talking about your balls tell them "NO! my parts!" and repeat until they finally get that they won't be getting anywhere with you
Insist EVERYTHING looks like a penis
When your teacher is talking, just giggle and laugh for no reason until she tells you to shut the hell up, repeat once she starts again (works on guys too, but i've got too many woman teachers)
Insist you know kung fu and make retarded movements
Tell people you can do the splits, go down like an inch and say "OW FUCK, MY LEGS" and pretend you can't move, when people ask you what's wrong, or if you're ok, just tell them "nothing" or just laugh and walk away
Shove the entire roll of toilet paper into the toilet and flush it four times
Kick doors open
When ordering lunch, grab what you want, "accidentally" drop it, and order something else, repeat
When you are told to do something, be EXTREMELY specific. basically like dkamm when he goes "What about your an idiot?"
Tell your math teacher you know a trick, and when you go to show her, tell her you forgot, then repeat, but instead say "I THINK I REMEMBER NOW"
Find someone with a TV, the bigger/older it is, the better.
Get some aluminum foil and scotch tape and scissors.
Take a single sheet, preferably large enough to cover most of the TV. Do not tear the sheet with the metal teeth on the box, use scissors.
With the same scissors, bevel the corners a bit.
The key here is no sharp edges. This is because sharp corners can discharge. You want the foil to be as charged as possible to produce as large a shock as possible. You see, the metal teeth create a large amount of sharp edges, which is why you should not use them.
Using one piece of tape per corner, tape the foil to the TV.
Turn the TV off and on again several times. Be careful though, too many times could result in serious injury, and we don't want a lawsuit on our hands, now do we?
What you've made is a giant capacitor between the inside of the TV, and the aluminum foil. Basically, it'll shock shit.
If the TV is on, turn it off, put down the remote, and leave.
Whoever comes to watch TV next will come in and wonder why there's aluminum foil on the TV. They will proceed to try to remove the aluminum foil and get an large shock.
Alternate ending for Mafia-types - fill the room with some sort of odorless, colorless, flamable gas, the spark from the TV will ignite the gas, and kill the per
holy shit i just noticed that you meant ban for life
Draw pedobears on your paperwork, and write "gonna get raped next to it" then make your name line say something fucking random, like "whitey mc cracker honkey" (I've done this.)
call people bad names in other languages
bet somebody they can't do something impossible, reap rewards with a coolface
get deoderant, put it on your cheek, tell people to sniff it, and if they do, HEADBUTT THEM
talk Ub3rl337 to everybody IRL
tell somebody you know when they'll die, reply "when you do" when they answer, wear your coolface.
tell somebody you can draw them, get out a notebook/paper, and draw a penis on top of a stickfigures neck, tell them you're done, and show it to them with a coolface
See, i'm so good at fucking with people
Tell a clueless person that meatspin will make them hungry (as long as they dont know its a penis)
when you piss (if you have to wear ids at your school) take your piss on the id and walk around like that
play doorknob with people who don't fart
tell people you're able to do a wall jump, jump at the wall, turn away and wear your coolface. now say "Your turn!" and shove them into the wall, and run
Oh yeah, another one.
Open your zipper and put your finger through it, wiggle it around. <-- GOOD SHOCK MANEUVER
in french class say stuff in spanish, in spanish class say stuff in french
I've got more, just be patient
these take a long time to write