I BROKE THEM UP!
Copy + Paste it into a .txt.
FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sat Mar 19 22 54 24 2011
GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?
TRIP
What, Grace... this?
GRACE
Yes, you know how I feel about it --
TRIP
I know I know I'll do it right now, alright?!
GRACE
You know I've had to ask you about this several --
TRIP
Get off my back! I'll get rid of it in just a minute!
GRACE
Fine, Trip... fine...
(George knocks on the front door.)
(George knocks on the front door.)
TRIP
Uhp, he's here!
GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!
GEORGE
OPEN THE DOOR
TRIP
No, he's supposed to be here now!
GRACE
God... Trip!
GEORGE
RIGHT NOW
(GEORGE knocks on the front door.)
(GEORGE knocks on the front door.)
(GEORGE knocks on the front door.)
(Trip opens the front door.)
TRIP
George!! -- (interrupted)
TRIP
Hey!
GRACE
No, no, here we are!
GRACE
George,
GEORGE
A MARTINI, PLEASE
GRACE
Hi! How are you? Oh god it's been such a long time!
TRIP
Yeah, how -- how are you doing?
GEORGE
I WOULD BE FINE
GRACE
Oh, H-mmm (happy smile sound)
GRACE
And I have to say, you look great.
GEORGE
IF I HAD A MARTINI
TRIP
Oh, yeah, I'm gonna fix us some drinks in a sec!
TRIP
Ah, you need to help me break in my expensive new set of roostertail making accessories.
GEORGE
OKAY HOLD ON
GRACE
So come on in, make yourself at home!
TRIP
I'm just going to go close the door.
(Trip closes the front door.)
TRIP
So! Drinks!
TRIP
What would you like?
GEORGE
MARTINI
TRIP
George, are you -- are you leaving the room?
TRIP
(little sigh) Anyway... I can't remember what we were talking about...
GEORGE
A MARTINI
TRIP
Uh, well, I'm just going to pour you a glass of this wine.
GEORGE
I WANT A MARTINI
GRACE
No no,
GRACE
George, maybe you'd like some juice, or a mineral water?
TRIP
What...?
GEORGE
WINE
GRACE
George, seeing you again makes me remember the wonderful times we all -- (interrupted)
PHONE
** RING **
GRACE
Oh, I'll get it --
TRIP
No, no no no, our friend's here, we can let the answering machine get it.
PHONE
** RING **
(GEORGE picks up the phone.)
TRIP
George, no! Don't do that.
PHONE
Hello? Hello?
PHONE
Who is this? Travis, is that you? This is your mother.
TRIP
Uhh, that's my mother, I can hear her loud voice.
PHONE
I don't recognize your voice...
GRACE
Oh!
PHONE
I -- I think I have the wrong number... ** click **
TRIP
Okay, she's confused, as usual... just -- just hang it up.
GEORGE
Hey Grace
GEORGE
I REMEMBER WHEN I HIT YOU
GRACE
Oh, I wanted to say hello -- -- (interrupted)
TRIP
Y -- yeah, heh, no, I, uh -- I can talk to my parents later.
GRACE
Anyhow, Trip's parents... They're sweet people, really down to earth --
(GEORGE puts down the phone.)
TRIP
Uhh, no, they're ignorant, they don't know 'black tie only' from... black bean chili.
GRACE
(frustrated sigh)
TRIP
Well, we're all friends here, uh...
GEORGE
Where's that wine?
(GEORGE picks up the white wine bottle.)
(GEORGE puts down the white wine bottle.)
TRIP
Oh, yeah, y -- you know, I should fix you a real drink in not too long...
(GEORGE picks up the white wine bottle.)
(GEORGE puts down the white wine bottle.)
GRACE
Trip, have you noticed, we're fighting in front of our friend.
TRIP
Grace, come on, it's not helping things for you to say that...
GEORGE
It's fine
GRACE
Trip, -- (interrupted)
TRIP
What...?
TRIP
George, I -- I want you to look at this photo from our recent trip to Italy...
GRACE
(impatient sigh) -- (interrupted)
GEORGE
I WANT THAT MARTINI
TRIP
Oh, uh...
GRACE
That's kind of you, I'm sure Trip's happy to hear that.
TRIP
(clears throat)
GEORGE
GIVE ME A MARTINI OR WINE
GEORGE
I DEMAND ALCOHOL
(GEORGE picks up the advice ball.)
TRIP
Now, now, George, in one word, what does this picture make you think of?
(The advice ball reads, "Why Not")
(GEORGE puts down the advice ball.)
GRACE
Oh, please, Trip, don't put our friend on the spot like that. -- (interrupted)
GEORGE
WINE
TRIP
No, no, that's not it --
GRACE
Yeah, that's a fine answer, I like that...!
TRIP
No, no... George, take another look, this says... what.
(GEORGE picks up the white wine bottle.)
(GEORGE puts down the white wine bottle.)
GRACE
How about suffocating.
GEORGE
ITALY
TRIP
Well, the thing is, you see, this trip to Italy... it was our second honeymoon!
GRACE
What? George, Trip is absolutely exaggerating, it was simply a weekend getaway, that's all.
TRIP
Goddammit, I was trying to find a way for us to spend some time together!
GEORGE
W
TRIP
(frustrated -- (interrupted)
TRIP
Romance! It says... romance...! -- (interrupted)
GEORGE
INE
TRIP
Wait wait wait -- see -- it was supposed to be romantic!
GRACE
And I missed my friend's art show.
TRIP
What? Who is this?
GRACE
A friend from college had a gallery show of his new paintings that weekend. (little sigh)
TRIP
Oh, okay... It's not like there was tons of art we could have seen in Italy, if you had just left the hotel room...
GEORGE
GIVE ME MY ALCOHOL
TRIP
Alright, good, heh heh, maybe you're on my side tonight after all, ha ha.
GRACE
You know, ever since we got married, Trip is forever trying to get me to buy new furniture, and redecorate,
(GEORGE picks up a trinket 8.)
GRACE
and -- and it's true, I kind of enjoy it but...
TRIP
Well, yeah, it's great, everybody loves it when they come in and see our latest decoration scheme!
(GEORGE puts down a trinket 8.)
GRACE
But, George, you have to look at this room, and admit it looks terrible.
TRIP
Grace --
GRACE
I mean, look around, this room is... it's hideous! -- (interrupted)
GEORGE
This room is HORRIBLE
TRIP
No no, no no, see, Grace loves expensive furniture, she...
TRIP
grew up in this really nice house, with really nice couches and fancy dishes, and, and she can't live without this stuff.
GEORGE
I MIGHT NOT YELL IF I HAD WIN
GRACE
Oh, well...
GRACE
(little sigh) So I just had to have this couch...
GRACE
but, dammit, it's wrong, it's all wrong, I should have chosen a modest, simple love seat!
(GEORGE picks up the white wine bottle.)
(GEORGE puts down the white wine bottle.)
GRACE
(annoyed sigh) I bet -- (interrupted)
GEORGE
WINE
GRACE
(frustrated sigh)
(GEORGE picks up a martini glass 1.)
(GEORGE puts down a martini glass 1.)
(GEORGE picks up the red wine bottle.)
GRACE
(frustrated sigh)
(GEORGE puts down the red wine bottle.)
GEORGE
THIS GLASS
GEORGE
AND WINE
GEORGE
MAKES A GLASS OF WINE
(GEORGE picks up the advice ball.)
(The advice ball reads, "No")
(GEORGE puts down the advice ball.)
(GEORGE picks up the advice ball.)
(The advice ball reads, "I Doubt It")
GRACE
You know Trip, that little advice ball of yours doesn't look good on the bar.
(GEORGE puts down the advice ball.)
TRIP
What? It's a hilarious little bar toy. -- (interrupted)
GEORGE
OKAY FINE
TRIP
Ha ha, yeah!
GEORGE
I WILL MOVE IT
(GEORGE picks up the advice ball.)
TRIP
Well, you have to appreciate how after a full day's work designing magazine ads, Grace can find the time to redecorate -- (interrupted)
(The advice ball reads, "Sure Thing")
(GEORGE puts down the advice ball.)
TRIP
Just leave my little advice toy out of this, okay? It's not hurting anyone, it just gives advice!
GEORGE
I WANT SOME WINE
(GEORGE picks up the red wine bottle.)
(GEORGE puts down the red wine bottle.)
(GEORGE picks up the red wine bottle.)
GEORGE
Hhhhhhh
TRIP
Grace, everything's fine! No one is complaining about your decorating --
GRACE
No, decorating is just --
GRACE
(frustrated sigh)
GRACE
There must be some way I could --
GEORGE
GRACE IS A HORRIBLE DECORAT
TRIP
uh... ha heh heh...
GRACE
uh...
TRIP
what...
GRACE
wha...
TRIP
why...
GEORGE
I HATE THIS ROOM!
TRIP
ha ha, heh...
GRACE
ha ha ha...
TRIP
ha ha ha!
GRACE
ha ha ha ha ha!!
TRIP
Ha ha ha, heh, George,
GRACE
heh heh heh...
TRIP
heh, you had me going there for a sec...
TRIP
heh, ha ha...
TRIP
Never afraid to push your luck, heh heh heh...
TRIP
push our little buttons...
TRIP
heh heh, you're crazy, heh, you know that?
TRIP
ha ha...
TRIP
(big sigh)
GEORGE
Be right back
TRIP
Anyway... what were we talking about, heh?
TRIP
Uhh, you're driving me insane!
TRIP
Your... goddamn decorating...
TRIP
You're never satisfied with anything! You're never happy, never ever satisfied with anything.
GEORGE
(GEORGE GUZZLES THE WINE)
TRIP
George, wait, I can't fix you a drink right now!
TRIP
George, come on, stop running away! You started this mess, you need to help fix it!
GRACE
You and your damn parents...
GRACE
Sometimes I feel like our whole marriage is just for show! I don't know what you really feel!
TRIP
Oh, Jesus...!
(GEORGE puts down the red wine bottle.)
TRIP
Goddamn italy...
TRIP
I try to reach out to you, I try to be romantic with you, but you're cold, and distant! I do, I really try!
GRACE
Oh, my God...!
TRIP
Alright, you know what, George,
GEORGE
GRACE IS COLD AND DISTANT
TRIP
I need to ask you something.
GRACE
Trip --
TRIP
Grace, let me ask our guest a question.
TRIP
George, yes or no...
(GEORGE picks up the red wine bottle.)
TRIP
If one person in a marriage gives the other advice, and that advice is taken -- years later, can you get blamed for that?
GEORGE
YES
TRIP
What...?!
TRIP
Oh, alright... yeah...
TRIP
Uhh, I keep trying to help you Grace, but you reject me, you cut me off, you cut me out of your life, goddammit!
GRACE
Oh, my God...!
GEORGE
YOU SHOULD GET A DIVORCE
GRACE
Uhh! Yeah, good, get away from me!
GRACE
I can't take you anymore!
GRACE
Dammit, Trip!
GRACE
uhh!
(GEORGE sits on the couch.)
GRACE
George, we're not normally like this, I don't know what's going on...
GEORGE
It's cause trip sucks
(GEORGE gets up from the couch.)
GRACE
What?! What are you saying to me?
TRIP
Grace, are you talking about me?
GRACE
What do you care?
GEORGE
YES
(GEORGE puts down the red wine bottle.)
GRACE
George, from what you said before, about marriage... I think that shows us something about Trip. -- (interrupted)
(GEORGE picks up the white wine bottle.)
TRIP
George, come on, I don't feel like fixing drinks at this moment!
(GEORGE puts down the white wine bottle.)
TRIP
Grace, we don't -- we don't have to do this... things are okay, we can just --
GRACE
George, -- (interrupted)
(GEORGE comforts trip.)
TRIP
No, uhh... George, what I need is to figure out what hell is going here...
(GEORGE picks up the red wine bottle.)
GRACE
God, George, can we just stop talking about Trip's stuff, please? (frustrated sigh)
GEORGE
IT'S BETTER THEN YOURS
GRACE
Let's continue focusing on Trip.
GRACE
George, every time Trip is unhappy he rushes out and buys some new gadget. -- (interrupted)
GEORGE
Grace is handicapped
TRIP
See Grace, as usual you're making something out of nothing...
GRACE
Uhh...
GRACE
George, explain this to me!
GRACE
Damn it, Trip, you and my parents are always planning these stupid trips I have to go on..
TRIP
They're vacations! -- (interrupted)
GRACE
George, (annoyed sigh)
TRIP
Look, let's not focus on just me or you, let's talk about us both.
GRACE
Trip, you just pretend to like all this stuff... fancy cigars, and fine wine...
TRIP
You think -- (interrupted)
GRACE
God, that wedding picture... I hate it.
TRIP
Grace, how can you say --
GRACE
You and my parents had so much fun planning everything. Trip, the bride normally plans the wedding.
GEORGE
The picture is horrible
GRACE
George, (annoyed sigh) -- (interrupted)
TRIP
Look, let's talk about us both, not just one of us.
GRACE
Trip, can't you see, it's the way you speak, the way you talk to me...!
GEORGE
Pfft, Nice picture
TRIP
I tried to give Grace the best during our Italy vacation. The best hotels, the best food...
GRACE
Do you hear yourself, Trip? The only thing you care about a vacation is that it's 'the best'.
TRIP
Ugh!
GEORGE
Get a divorce
GRACE
Ah!
TRIP
D -- divorce? George, you think we should get a divorce?
GEORGE
Yes
GRACE
Yes?
TRIP
This is bullstuff...! you're saying it's over, we should just give up...?!
GEORGE
Yes
TRIP
Yes?
TRIP
Uhh...
TRIP
Uhh, this is too much, I can't take this...
TRIP
Uhh...
GRACE
Let's keep the focus on us, our relationship.
TRIP
Grace, I -- I want to take care of you...
GRACE
Trip...
TRIP
You've always wanted that, I know you did...
GRACE
Trip... George, we... uhh...
GEORGE
GET A DIVORCE
TRIP
Let's talk some more about us both.
TRIP
Grace, even though you're now a creative director at work, and even though you redecorate the apartment all the time, the truth is... you're not an artist.
GRACE
Uhh...!
TRIP
I'm sorry, you're not.
GRACE
George, uhh...
GEORGE
She's not
TRIP
No?
GRACE
Ah, thank you, you disagree, that might just help him!
GRACE
See, Trip, you have no idea what an artist is.
GEORGE
a
GRACE
You know what's so annoying, is when you pretend to be all 'romantic'!
TRIP
What...?
GRACE
Trip, it is such an act!
TRIP
Oh my God... George, what... uhh... -- (interrupted)
GEORGE
I find everything about him stupid
TRIP
Hey, no, it's just going to make this whole thing even worse if you keep criticizing me!
GEORGE
GET A DIVORCE!
GRACE
Look, let's not focus on just me or you, let's talk about us.
TRIP
It's so annoying... Grace, why is it that anytime I want to do something nice for you, you resist it?
GRACE
Trip...
TRIP
Like I always have to convince you?
GRACE
George, you know, -- (interrupted)
GEORGE
You're a bad couple
GRACE
Look, you're going to really make it bad if you keep criticizing me!
TRIP
Okay, I've had enough of this bullstuff!!
TRIP
George, I know what you're hinting at...
TRIP
about me...
TRIP
about art...
TRIP
Do you really want the truth? Huh?
TRIP
George, do you want to hear it?
GEORGE
YES
TRIP
Grace, huh?
GRACE
Yes...!
TRIP
George, see I've actually been paying close attention to what you've been saying.
TRIP
You've really been pushing me tonight.
TRIP
And I wonder, are you really my friend or not.
GRACE
Trip!
TRIP
George, come on -- yes or no...
TRIP
Do you really think that...
TRIP
criticizing Grace...
TRIP
criticizing me...
TRIP
suggesting that we get divorced...
TRIP
and what you said about giving advice to your wife...
TRIP
that I'm supposed to realize something about myself from all that?
TRIP
Is what you've said tonight supposed to add up somehow, to something?
GEORGE
Yes
TRIP
Okay.
TRIP
Grace, I know you want to be an artist.
TRIP
But I could never be married to you if you were.
GRACE
What?
TRIP
I can't... I -- I just can't...
GEORGE
She's an artist
GRACE
But Trip --
TRIP
When I married you, see, I was sure I could convince you to give it up, to -- to go into advertising.
GEORGE
GET A DIVORCE
GRACE
Uhh...
TRIP
And -- and I did it, and it worked.
TRIP
But now... I -- I don't know, Grace...
TRIP
(big sigh) I don't know...
GRACE
uhh...
GRACE
Oh my God...!
TRIP
George, I --
GRACE
I'm going to give you the truth too, Trip.
TRIP
What?!
GRACE
I painted this.
GEORGE
It's HORRIBLE
TRIP
Bullstuff.
GRACE
I am an artist, Trip, forget you.
TRIP
You've been secretly painting? When --
GRACE
Everytime you go on a goddamn business trip, I paint.
TRIP
Jesus --
GRACE
So don't EVER give me any more of your 'you could never be an artist' crap!!
GRACE
uhh...
GEORGE
You should really divorce
TRIP
uhh...
TRIP
Jesus...!
TRIP
George, I, uhh...
TRIP
This changes everything...
GRACE
Yes, it does change everything.
GRACE
I think it's over.
GEORGE
It is
TRIP
Grace, w -- what --
GRACE
No!!
GRACE
It's over, Trip, don't you see that?
TRIP
Wha... but you just said --
GRACE
I just told you something about me I should have said a long time ago:
GRACE
I am an artist -- but y -- you can't see that.
GRACE
And no, George, hold on...
TRIP
Yes, and like I said...
TRIP
I can't be married to an artist.
TRIP
Grace, no, I... we...
GRACE
See, Trip, this is about me, as a person... and about you as a person... but it's --
GRACE
not about us, about our marriage. I see that now...
TRIP
Us...? uh... Our marriage...? Wha... hey, no, wait!
GRACE
George, I'm sorry. Thank you, though, you really helped me.
TRIP
Grace!
GEORGE
You're welcome
(Grace opens the front door.)
TRIP
Grace!!
(Grace closes the front door.)
TRIP
Jesus Christ...
GEORGE
Hahahahah
TRIP
I should have told her that...
TRIP
I -- I could have told her that...
GEORGE
Run after her!
