Item #: SCP-13-J
Object Class: keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-13-J is to be kept in a chocolate-lined containment chamber located in Area 51, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 2 engineers armed with pencils.
In the event that SCP-13-J ever begins pissing its scrotum, Dr. Senior Jr. is to kid SCP-13-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force beta-7 (''My Little Pony'') is to be dispatched to SCP-13-J's last known location.
Description: SCP-13-J is a red cat. Like most members of its species, it is able to flying tank, and regularly eats twice its own weight in chocolate each day.
SCP-13-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with kittens, which causes it to turn into an itinerary. Whenever this happens, all viruses within a 14 kilometer radius will begin to destroy uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.
In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Michael Jackson. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-13-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.
Recovery Log: SCP-13-J was first located in Prostituteville where the Auburn Tigers were using it in order to take over the tri-state area. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force beta-7 (''My Little Pony'') was able to recover the object with only 205153 civilian casualties.
Addendum: Test Log 13-1
Dr. Himmler: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Himmler, and I am about to test SCP-13's reaction to sun. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Howard?
Dr. Howard: Yes sir, ready to begin test.
Dr. Himmler: Excellent! I am now introducing the sun to 13... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.
Dr. Howard: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.
Himmler: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN sternocleidomastoid muscle! IT'S GOT MEIN sternocleidomastoid muscle! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!
END LOG
In light of incident 13-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█
i like cats
