UPDATE:
Nobody gives a stuff soooooo forget 'em
I just received a call; My hormone prescriptions are being sent to the pharmacy today! If I wasn't at work right now I'd host a server- maybe when I get home. :)
Original post:
Dear Forums,
Well now, we certainly have seen quite a lot of each other over the years, haven't we?
There are quite a few faces I don't recognize very well, many people have come and gone in my time here.
I've had some pretty incredible friends here, and my time playing Blockland has been some of my most cherished memories of my entire life.
I grew up with this community, its seen me through many phases of my life, and provided me a safe place when I felt I didn't have one.
My time spent here has been very, very important to me. You are all- old and new alike- very important to me, whether you know me or not.
Saying that, of course I feel it's important to let you all know- whether you care or not- that I have finally made a big decision.
You see, I know at least a number of you are aware that I have become rather feminine over time; the "Post real life pictures of yourself"
thread is basically a timeline detailing that change over the years.
Ever since I was a little kid I've felt strange about myself, like I wasn't supposed to be me. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin.
I was in a very Christian household at the time, though, and feeling that way felt wrong. I also knew I felt attracted to boys too, and that terrified me.
I was certain God hated me, I was certain that if I told my parents how I felt they would disown me- so I became very homophobic and I tried
to be as masculine as I could possibly be to try to make up for it.
It wasn't until I was 16 that I finally said forget all of this, I am miserable and I just want to be myself for once. I started dressing feminine
just to see how it felt and it felt wonderful. Not in a loveual way, but in a, "This is good, this looks good and it feels right." sort of way.
Eventually I started looking more feminine and acting more feminine until I finally came out to my family when I was 17.
Now, if you've managed to read this far, you've finished all the back story. Onto the present:
I'm 22 years old now and I've spent the past 6 years of my life thinking, weighing things out, contemplating, living in the ever-present shadow
of dysphoria and depression.
The decision has finally been made, and that is: I have decided to begin transitioning via hormone replacement therapy.
No plans have been made as of yet to work on the plumbing downstairs, but this is the first step and it'll be a doozy.
I'm calling my doctor tomorrow to set up an appointment, the process will be short:
The doctor sends me to the therapist, the therapist finds that I'm not a raging sociopath, the therapist says "Ok go." to the doctor, the doctor
writes up my prescriptions.
I'm extremely excited to get started on the path towards being the person I've always wished I was, and I just wanted to share it with all of you.
Feel free to call me a friend, mentally ill, confused, whatever you want. I've heard it all enough by now, you'll just be wasting your time,
so why not just click the back button at the top of the page instead?
Also, I only brought up religion because it was an important part of the story, I am not bashing religion or religious people; please don't argue
about religion here, that's not what this is about.
I hope at least some of you will be happy for me, but mostly I just wanted to throw it up here because I love you guys I want to keep you
updated on my life. Blogland Forums, yeah yeah yeah, whatever.
TL;DR: I am starting HRT, and I would appreciate it if you read the whole thing.
- Sincerely, your biggest fan, VH.
