open letter to facechild

Author Topic: open letter to facechild  (Read 18239 times)

I'm going to mail you a penny in an envelope. Then the next day I'll mail 2 pennies. I'll keep adding a penny every day until it gets to be a handicapped amount of pennies. Like the envelope can barely hold them. Eventually you're gonna have all these goddamn pennies you won't know what to do with. You'll start with a cup of pennies and then graduate to a milk jug. After a while you'll give up on child's play and move on to something like one of those bigass plastic storage containers. But even that won't be enough. I'm not sending the pennies in envelopes anymore. I'm sending them in packages. This takes a stuffton of money to ship because it's loving heavy. You'll keep getting packages of pennies day after day. You will eventually have an entire room set aside just to put pennies in. One day you'll get fed up and take them to coin star or something. But by then it will be too late. It doesn't matter anyway. I'll still be sending more pennies than you can get rid of.
you'll try to throw them away. You won't give a stuff. The garbage won't take them though because they're too loving heavy. Your life will become pennies. You will dream about pennies. You'll dread going home. But it won't stop there. I'll start leaving them in your car too. They'll pile up endlessly and there's nothing you can do about it.
At some point you'll give up on your house and try to move in with a friend so you can finally be free from the copper hell. But oh no! stuff's forget up in there too! Pennies are already there. He doesn't know why, but it doesn't matter. You do. This will inevitably lead to you being homeless because you will have literally exhausted any means of escaping this shiny nightmare. You'll be asleep on the streets one night. You'll be awoken suddenly by a jingling sound. "Oh no!" you think. You know what it is. You open your eyes and see me. I'm standing in front of you. I just dropped a large sack of pennies.

I have just spent my entire life savings making your life miserable, you piece of stuff.

holy stuff what did facechild do to you?


bookmarking this so I can use this idea in the future

OH yeah!?


I am going to stuff in a box, and then im going to train a wild ferret to transport limes from the kitchen to new Hampshire, i will then collect approximately 17 slices of cheese, use a blow dryer to partially melt them onto a naked man's body. pay him to carry a disused tuba to the white house and then have the president play Chuck Manjioni on it, it will be pretty low pitched and terribly off key because that's not even the right instrument. but little did you know that is the ferret's key to transport about 2 and a half limes to new Hampshire. meanwhile the box of stuff has been sent to your house via carrier pidgin. when the limes reach new Hampshire it will be payment for a crazed homeless man who has been waiting for my signal to ride the rails all the way to west richardota or wherever you loving live. the homeless man will then take Polaroid pictures of your window and document what you have on your window sill on a day to day basis, using this information i will send a pack of highly trained alpacas to your location to spit on your window. when you open up your window to see what all the hub bub is about i will have a catapult pre-built to fire the stuff in the box at your face hole. you will then have poo on your mouth area and as a result will contemplate your own existence and take up hard drugs.


Fun fact: After 365 days, Bones4 will have spent $667.95 on this stupid prank.

After 2 years, this number rises to $2668.15.

He could feasibly sustain this for awhile (discounting shipping costs and everything).

More math coming soon!

what the forget did I just read?....

but thats a lot of pennies

forgetin saved as a copy pasta thanks

To make matters worse FaceChild lives in Canada so those pennies are worthless.

Fun fact: After 365 days, Bones4 will have spent $667.95 on this stupid prank.

After 2 years, this number rises to $2668.15.

He could feasibly sustain this for awhile (discounting shipping costs and everything).

More math coming soon!
Modern pennies weigh 2.5 g each so after two years that's about 667 kg or nearly 1500 lbs!!

I don't know that I care about what happened between these two, as long as the replies keep rolling in. :)

Where is Bones going to get these pennies? He would have to be living in own patina green hell to accomplish this.

bones this is terrible you cant