stellar 2d
i refunded the game and forgot to take a picture before i did it so just imagine something bad
stellar 2d is a side scrolly shootemup thing where you play as a space fighter and shoot things in space for a plot remarkably similar to
this except not funny and thus without value. this entire game is actually without value i played free games better than this as provable in this very thread. this game is ass and i think only exists to do whatever people do with steam cards which is make emoticons or something but no one cares about those unless they have some sort of mental illness. for real what do steam cards even do. even steam card gimmicks are probably better than playing this. thank the lord for steam refunds though i sure am glad i got my 14 cents back. i think this game actually costing money is a better joke than anything i can write here but ill struggle futilely against the impossible much like the struggle to play this game for any extended period of time. the game is an atrocious violation of whatever quality standards the game industry has. everything about it is terrible.
since this is a mostly game focused thing instead of story ala most games i have played so far ill talk about that and let me tell you it does not fail to disappoint. i dont play these side scrolling shooty thingies a lot or ever and i can point out specifically why this game is stuff when compared to other games of its genre. alright first off its boring as stuff all you ever do is fight the same generic enemies across numerous probably open source nasa and deviantart derived space picture backgrounds and all the enemies suck and the shooting sucks and the music probably sucks i couldnt hear it over anything but it sucked and the power ups especially sucked and the spaceship graphics looked ripped from loving genericspaceshipmodels.com or something. so yeah it sucked. you basically fight the same enemies over and over again until you get to a boss which dies in like 10 seconds and then you repeat with the only thing changing is the number of enemies. exciting. the greatest travesty of this loving game though is the bullets. you know how in normally shooty things that arent even in this genre but are in the generic bullet dodging category the bullets are well defined and easy to see so you can actually dodge the forgeters well not here buddy. i hope you enjoy what looks like a bunch of failbinned blockland emitters for bullets that are normally mildly hard to see among the similarly colored space background and because they are almost loving transparent that become dangerously inconspicuous when you are blasting a billion cookie cutter stuff enemies and they all explode clogging the screen further. it doesnt help that all the enemies are pretty forgetin big too and while this is not a complaint in itself it means that their explosions are bigger per capita and they hide the bullets better. also all the only enemies are the shoot straight ahead or the shoot scattershot like bullet pattern things variety and only one enemy actually does something other than moving straight across the screen. you can take i dont know a couple shots or some stuff before dying but eventually a handicapped amount of enemies are on the screen at once combined with the loving dumb "powerups".
the powerups are stuff and one in particular serves to make the game even more stuff and are bad enough to deserve their own little paragraph of stufftery. throughout your travels through generic space backgrounds the only other thing besides you and enemies are a bunch of powerups and they all suck cataclysmic amounts of ass. thats a lot of ass. lets start with the extra firepower powerups. when you pick one of these up you get a gun thing that appears at you side and shoots more bullets while probably being invincible i dont know the hit detection isnt the best. it forgets off after like 45 seconds. cool free bullets. just kiddng if you pick that stuff up it sticks to you like a heroin addiction and you cant get rid of it for the entire time its there and because there is a direct tier list of powerups you can be stuck with a stuffty pea shooter at your side while the treasured double 3 shot thing flies the forget by 200 times until your powerup runs out and then it never appears again. also you cant refresh the guns by getting the same powerup. why. was there a reason to have this as a feature. the answer is no thats why i didnt use a question mark. another powerup and by far the worst offender is the loving circle thing i dont even know what it is supposed to represent but it takes the role of generic powerup dispenser. oh alright cool a randomized powerup thing why not. yeah not so fast the fun police has arrived and they are here to remove the fun by making this stuff also dispense debuffs which far outweigh any benefit that the good stuff might do. like for real the buffs are stuff like double and triple damage which is ok you already kill most enemies pretty quick and they just keep coming anyway and fast speed which only shows how idiotically bad the game controls at high speeds. meanwhile what u are rising is stuff like loss of horizontal and vertical movement, the inability to fire, and exceptionally slow movement speed, all of which can easily kill you when the amount of enemies on the screen enters the forgettons. these powerups are by far the most common and you cant debuff them in any way much like the shooty powerup. its idiotic. no one should have to play a shmup without loving vertical movement holy stuff. it doesnt help that enemies fire off the loving screen so there is bound to be some bullets coming your way if you get hit by that one. then theres the health and armor powerups. armor is basically just health 2 in that it absorbs hits for your health bar before that gets hit. now youre thinking how could they possibly forget this up well you want to know how. they completely randomized how much health/armor each powerup gives. you could seriously get only a little blip of health or an entire bar depending entirely on chance and same with armor. why. same goes with the temp invincibility powerups duration which can last for like 40 seconds to 1 and yes 1 second after you got the powerup. i have gotten 1 second multiple times in my 37 minute grandstand of this bullstuff. why does armor even exist why cant you just have one health bar. the other powerup is a pick up an item stuff ala mario karts ? boxes and its the least awful of all of them because it just gives you an item and you can use it immediately if another one comes by. the items themselves are pretty useless and generally only last about a few seconds before the game gets back in the rhythm of enemy spewing.
the graphics in this stuff are atrociously bad. like actively detract from the game bad. thats the worst kind of bad. thats space funeral 4 bad. you dont want to be space funeral 4 bad. space funeral 4 was bad. anyway for real look at this screenshot of the game i didnt post and you will see why it is garbage. its terrible. for the ships and powerups and stuff it looks like someone went on some free modeling stuff and ripped a bunch of unrelated spacecraft and bolted them together into this game and it sucks ass in a very major way. there is no consistent theme beyond "it looks like it could be in space probably". none of the models look good either probably because the game dev didnt want to pay for anything and made this in 5 mins. he probably made a profit off of this game. the world is an unjust place. the backgrounds are seriously just generic space things ripped probably from nasa and deviantart as stated and they arent even loving consistent with the levels. for real the background is randomized every time. it barely feels like you even change levels without the random background swap every now and then and it certainly doesnt give any locations character or anything. it just sucks. this entire game sucks. forget the bullet grpahics especially but i already went over that stuff. this game is probably the worst looking game so far on its own merits with space funeral 4 being the worst looking game because of the space funeral name slapped to that. i will forever be mad about space funeral 4. if you enjoy space funeral 4 you enjoy this game not for any real reason but just because if you like space funeral 4 you should enjoy every horrible thing and live a life relegated to mediocrity forever.
the music on this stuff i dont actually know i could not hear it over the sound effects which is finally a reason for me to talk about them. like holy hell i hope you enjoy the near constant sound of pew pew explosion because welcome to this loving game it sucks. from what i heard when i intentionally stopped shooting or hit the stupid random powerup and got no shooting for me it was pretty generic happy sounding electronic music that would have probably been found on a newgrounds flash game and was thus free and the creator thus took it. good lord. other sound effects are the voice that i can only assume is the creator through a loving laptop microphone because i could barely understand that forget when he was narrating the stupid intro cinematic. also he narrates every time you pick up a powerup so enjoy his stupid voice saying triple damage or no vertical movement or whatever every forgetin time. or dont and just dont play this game. not even for cards.
the story in this game is seriously the all your base stuff. planet is attacked and they send out their best fighter to kill the big bad guy. i dont think there is any actual story progression or character development outside of that intro cinematic though if there was the game sure fooled me. the only thing that i could possibly relate to anything related to character development is the narrator developing his broken english on this game with his often ridiculous names for the powerups. that was probably the best part of the game that was heavily hampered by the powerups being loving gaynus to the max.
overall this game sucks. imagine if you were a vietnamese sweatshop worker child and you saved up 14c to buy this game which is like 2 months of both of your parents working with overtime. then you bought this. i am here to help you vietnamese child. dont buy this. no one should ever buy this. except the guy who made space funeral 4 he should buy like a trillion copies.
essential games
bad tier
yume nikki
unessential games
good tier
profit motive
decent tier
chrono trigger
station 37
skelemania
the witch's house
sluggish morss
space funeral
mimicry man
mediocre tier
ib
space funeral: the legend of earth birth
hylics
mogeko castle
extremely unessential games
boring tier
presentable liberty
spookys house of jump scares
lieat
ananke
super columbine massacre rpg
ao oni
inflation quest
stellar 2dutter stuff tier
space funeral 4
hell
worse than Riddler tier
the gray garden
off tier
off
worse than off tier
wadanohara and the great blue sea
Poll