i havent been as bad since but i am still more of a social hand grenade than i ever was. i intentionally do stuff to be aggravating to shop workers by moving stuff around or chucking stuff about.
i dare you to do this on my shift. i know how to use a broom to lethal effect. did you know that there are thousands of strains of bacteria and viruses on just one bristle of a broom? if i were to say, smack you in the lips with the dirty end of a mop you'd be delivered a pretty unhealthy dose of e coli, staphylococcus, as well as inorganic cleaning agents that can digest your esophagus. while you profusely vomit the lining of your stomach i will carry you off to the baler machine in the back room and watch as you slowly compact into a crimson cube of cardboard, your last screams cut short by thousands of pounds of pressure.
next time you even think about putting that talenti ice cream in the cereal aisle, remember: i'm watching you. i'm not just the lowly stock clerk at your local supermarket; i am not the product on the shelf.
i am the shelf. if i catch you, i will make you expire- no refunds.