hi! i havent been too active, sorry about that for those who care.
i miss this place a lot often times, speaking of, im starting to miss a bunch of things a lot. and its been starting to become very very burdening. and im not sure if i should look further into getting help for it.
almost everything i do outside of work, so my free time, is pretty much spent on reminiscing and trying to force nostalgia. this means playing games i used to, taking walks to the park i used to spend my time as a kid, hanging out infront of my old school for a while, sometimes even while under the influence of narcotics. one of my least proudest was hanging out in front of my middleschool best friend's house n stuff.
i could go on about the stuff i do to hunt nostalgia, but id just be rambling.
on the flip side of this i also have been looking for moments that i would not forget in the present and future. typically with another person, most of the time it ends up with me feeling pathetic when its over.
it feels like im chasing past highs and try to force present ones, and i hate that i feel the need to do this, i dont know how i got like this and how to stop it. id think its maybe because i dont feel like im in a good spot right now in my life, but i dont know too much about that.
i just dont really know what to do with this, i havent been myself for a while now and its starting to become scary
this has gotten much deeper than i exepcted it to but ill post it regardless, just looking for a place to vent i guess
edit:
forgot the point of this thread. does anyone have experience, or like tips?
