Threads never die! I always say it.
Attack Results
What's that you say? Notorious B.I.G. is dead? Of course not! He was just hiding! He was never actually killed by Bronson's buckshot, he was just majorly injured. That's when you pronounced him dead and he crawled back into this closet. He seems to be the same like ever before, he just thinks he is called "Bedpost" now.
Badpost (NOT Badspot): wants to bury Notorious B.I.G.
Are you sure you want to bury yourself? Looks like you missed this:
Note: Notorious B.I.G. was banned from the BLF permanently and is therefore removed from the player list. If they wish to replay they may come back in as their new account Badpost.
Let's just go to your attack... The dice rolls...
5!
You get some Artillery Rocket Launcher Panzers that were passing by to fight for their country to stop for a second. You persuade them that the mini-tanks pose huge threats to their mission, and each of the mini-tanks gets one shot each.
Mini-Tank gets 71 damage!Mini-Tank #2 gets 77 damage!... But because it still has a shield intact,
it only recieves 38 damage.
Mini-Tank #3 gets 77 damage!Every tank's shield has been finally taken down after just one successful attack on Mini Tank #2!TableSalt: rolled
4You reach for a computer and double click its recycling bin to fetch something to... er, recycle. You find an executable inside! You take it to the desktop and open the file. Then a command prompt pops up for 10 seconds and noises can be heard from the computer until the disk drive opens.
It reveals a small but moderately heavy rock which you throw at Mini Tank #3 for 96 damage!As of this attack, a mini tank finally had its health reduced!NotBomberguy: landed on
There is a motorcycle nearby that is fast enough to ride you outta Hell. But you decide Satan has a beating due.
He hands over your ass after you ask for it nicely.SubDaWoofer: rolled
2Clearly the only reason you failed to undo a tank is because TableSalt didn't
Ctrl the situation right. So you decide to handle both Ctrl and Z this time on his keyboard.
You undo your pancreas.Twix: quickly expanded on his trench
The hastily dug trench was too weak as it was. You quickly dug it a bit more and made its structure more stable so that it has an acceptable amount of health.
Twix's Trench now has 3 maximum... uh... Let's just call it Structure Health.Space1255: didn't roll
You sing "the JJBA part 1 OP theme", something the current dungeon master is unaware of, as you attempt your incremental combo again. Wait... you don't.
You died in the last turn when you tried to do this bloody thing!ZeUberMedic!: rolled
1You get a potion from your working bench and drink it. However, you have a bad habit of not labeling potions, instead relying on color to remember what potion does what. So you pick up the grey potion and consume it, hoping it will help you build your metal, grey and BIG Howitzer faster.
The grey potion is Mercury. You fail chemistry forever.Redconer: tried to do something actually pretty OP, but will do something more plausible instead
Revive multiple players? Yeah, no. But maybe heal multiple players instead. Yeah, let's try that.
Rolling...
1.
Punishment for your idea, or coincidence? Coincidence.
*Ahem* I meant to say that you try to brew a healing potion in a cauldron in order to let multiple people consume it and recover. But, like ZeUberMedic!, you are a bad chemist. And alchemist too. You manage to make one of those cartoon reactions that explode right in your face.
You aren't a cartoon, so you die. Learn to alchemy next time.crazies alt: rolled
1After the strat of building up speed and then maintaining it, you try to match the slope syncing speed to hit each tank one at a time like every Pannenkoek wannabe.
You end up outside the map, falling until you hit the kill border. Don't exploit glitches, friends.DELL: rolled
2You dedicate all your brainpower to your fist, in order to make a strong hit. All the brainpower is spent on the fist's speed, strength and resilience, but not accuracy.
Your perfectly inaccurate fist does a 180 turn to your stomach.Microsoft EDGE: landed on
In order for a maxim tomato to land inside your dead body's mouth already, your soul negotiates with a pink spherical being to borrow more maxim tomatoes from it. It turns out, one of the maxim tomatoes bounce on the maxim tomato on your feet, getting it directly onto your throat. Your body is ready to fight once again.
AND NOW WE RETURN TO BLACK ACE, WHO IS READY TO LAUNCH AN ATTACK INVOLVING A BLACK HOLE WHICH HE CALLS...
...HIT IT, ACE!
BLACK END... GALAXY!Rolling...
4!
BLACK ACE SPAWNS A BLACK HOLE RIGHT IN GREY MINI TANK #3'S FACE, SUCKING ITS PARTS UP FOR 110 DAMAGE!
AND NOW... OH, HERE IT COMES!Rolling...
4! For the third time in a row!
HE SLICES THE BLACK HOLE WITH HIS FORCE-IMMUNE SWORD, DEFYING PHYSICS ENTIRELY AS THE BLACK HOLE EXPLODES! THIS IS WHAT WE ALL CAME FOR!
MINI TANK #3 GETS FREAKING OBLITERATED FOR 138 DAMAGE!
THIS AMOUNTS TO A TOTAL OF 248 DAMAGE! IT SURE COULD HAVE EVEN BETTER, BUT THE TANK GOT ITS BEATING!
BLACK ACE LANDS BACK ON HIS FEET AFTER THIS EXTRAORDINARY ACHIEVEMENT!Alright, Black Ace is done for now. The RNG had the potential to bring, like, 5 tens more of damage on each segment but I guess it wanted the lowest amount I put for each. The second-lowest. Anyway, this still deals a big blow to those god-forsaken mini tanks - let's move on to what's going on in the background.
Bronson: rolled
4Bronson fires his triple buckshot at Mini Tank and lands every single hit!
Tallying up to 142 damage!... What do you mean, it
still had a shield?
Then that means only 71 damage. At least the shield is down!JamesH and Rabbot32: working on second autocannon
♫♪The sun is settling. The workers are still working. It's real cold out here.
Yet they could really care less, they will keep working breathless. The work's nearly done.♫♪
1 turn remaining.
Mini Tank
The mini tank fires its gun at SubDaWoofer, inflicting 1 damage. And killing them.
HP: 800/800 Armor: 261/400 Shield: 0/500
Such a cool tank!
Mini Tank #2
The mini tank fires its gun at tber123 inflicting 1 damage. And killing them.
HP: 800/800 Armor: 384/400 Shield: 0/500
Totally not a clone of Mini Tank #1.
Mini Tank #3
The mini tank is unable to attack this turn due to getting hit a lot.
HP: 494/800 Armor: 0/400 Shield: 0/500
I still wonder how someone would fit in this...?
The tank's shields are Protector Shields. They reduce ranged attacks by 1/2 of their damage and increase melee damage by 50%. Get your knives out!
Playerstber123:
tank pew, you dead [+Free Heal Available]Twix:
3/3Mr Queeba:
2/3 [+Free Heal Available]Cybertails1998:
1/3 [+Free Heal Available]NotBomberguy:
arms steamrolled [+Free Heal Available]MoltenKitten:
3/3 [+Free Heal Available]Space1255:
incremental combo denied [+Free Heal Available]Rabbot32:
2/3 [+Free Heal Available] Helping JamesH construct second autocannon - 1 turn left!TristianLuigi:
1/3 [+Free Heal Available]cromartini:
look before you dab [+Free Heal Available]kidplasma:
2/3eboyblue10:
3/3 [+Free Heal Available]SubDaWoofer:
tank pew, you dead [+Free Heal Available]Juncoph:
2/3 [+Free Heal Available]CRITAWAKETS:
3/3 3/3 Bandos Defense active [+Free Heal Available] Transformed into Black Ace: lasts until battle endsPotatoh:
2/3 [+Free Heal Available]GrapeJellyToastMan:
3/3 [+Free Heal Available]Man of Greenish:
3/3 [+Free Heal Available]Somemong:
2/3 [+Free Heal Available]Nix the Glaceon:
Drank his laundry detergent [+Free Heal Available]Redconer:
bad with cauldrons [+Free Heal Available]JamesH:
3/3 [+Free Heal Available] Constructing second autocannon - 1 turns left! (Assisted by Rabbot32)Microsoft EDGE:
3/3 [+Free Heal Available]Pngu12970:
2/3 [+Free Heal Available]Deoxys And One Noob:
kablammo [+Free Heal Available]Gojira:
3/3 [+Free Heal Available]crazies alt:
first to touch the kill border Built up speed: lasts until end of battleRigel:
3/3 [+Free Heal Available]ZeUberMedic:
didn't label his potions [+Free Heal Available]Malleo100:
tank shell up the butt [+Free Heal Available]TableSalt:
2/3Just M2:
2/3 [+Free Heal Available]shinyarceus4:
2/3 [+Free Heal Available]Clownfish:
2/3 [+Free Heal Available]Bloo Kirby the 2nd:
fruit ninja with grenades is unhealthyDELL:
2/3Badpost:
1/3AlliesSubDaWoofer's Combat Drone:
1/3}]Crazy[{s skeleton with Churchills soul:
NUKED Will be gone in 2 turnsTiger II:
NUKED Will be gone in 2 turnsEngineer:
2/3Bronson: 6/6
2/3TOG II:
1/4Daemon Prince:
NUKED Will be gone in 2 turnsM2s Howitzer:
NUKED Will be gone in 2 turnsZeUberMedic's BIG Howitzer: Construction paused due to ZeUberMedic's death, 3 turns to buildTwix's Rototank:
NUKED Will be gone in 2 turnsKV-2:
Destroyed by the Precursor Will be gone in 2 turns BuildingsOffenseJamesH's 400mm Autocannon: 5/5JamesH's Second 400mm Autocannon: Built in 1 turn!Rabbot32's Field Guns: Construction paused, 3 turns to build, if Rabbot32 remembers where he wasCRITAWAKETS' P.S.V: freaking blammed itself Will be gone in 2 turnsDefenseDefensive Fortification: 10/10Defensive Line: 6/10Twix's Trench: 3/3 Inside: Twix. One slot remaining.UtilityAmazon Prime TerminalTM:
14/15CRIT's Fortress: 10/10Mercenary Vault: 14/15Mobile Command Center: NUKED Will be gone in 2 turnsFallout Shelter / Superbunker: Took too much abuse Will be gone in 2 turnsGrapeJellyToastMan's Compound: Destroyed by the Precursor Will be gone in 2 turns
The defensive fortification has a 50% chance to divert enemy attacks to itself. While the defensive line will make any players who move behind it immune to damage, at the cost of itself taking damage every time one of those players is attacked.
Twix's Trench will absorb damage for players when they get attacked or when they roll 2. It has limited room, but players may hop in or out as they wish. Players cannot push players in or out the trench. NPCs may use the trench if ordered to. Enemies cannot attack the trench itself, but can damage it if they aim for a player currently in the trench. The trench can get repaired instantly the turn after it is destroyed. A dice roll of 1 will not affect or be affected by the trench. Players or NPCs in the trench who are killed get kicked out of the trench.
Bandos Defense Armor adds 3 armor points to the wearer. The armor regenerates after every battle.
Free heals may be used to fully restore yourself. They are one-time use only, so be wise. Using a free heal while dead will revive you with guaranteed success.
The list of allies and buildings is getting too big so, dead/destroyed allies and buildings that get repaired and then destroyed again will dissapear from the list the turn after they are destroyed. Nothing's stopping you from rebuilding it from the top, of course.
And also, dead/destroyed allies and buildings that remain unattended for 3 turns will also get removed from the list.
THIS JUST IN: random.org hates chemistry. You try to do an alchemy, instant 1.
Poll