Here's what you do. Go to your local hair dressers and ask for a man named Dave, he will give you two plane tickets. Kid-nap your mother preferably using a bag over her head. Use the plane tickets to go to Mexico, once in Mexico a man will be at the airport holding a sign saying 'Operation Kit-Kat.' Speak to him and tell him the codewords 'I like to break vases.' He will lead you and your gagged up mother into a stretched limo where you will drive to the nearest ocean. The dolphins will help you from there, trust them with your life. Good luck.
