https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSThrDFhoHM
what's with you and https?
It all started when our protagonist, Rainbow Dash, woke up in a bush. It was the first time it had happened. Feeling really displeased, Rainbow Dash poked a salt shaker, thinking it would make her feel better (but as usual, it did not). Subsequently, she realized that her beloved stuff for rainbows was missing! Immediately she called her friend, Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash had known Pinkie Pie for (plus or minus) 550,000 years, the majority of which were enchanting ones. Pinkie Pie was unique. She was congenial though sometimes a little... dimwitted. Rainbow Dash called her anyway, for the situation was urgent. Pinkie Pie picked up to a very happy Rainbow Dash. Pinkie Pie calmly assured her that most otters belch before mating, yet marmots usually flamboyantly sneeze *after* mating. She had no idea what that meant; she was only concerned with distracting Rainbow Dash. Why was Pinkie Pie trying to distract Rainbow Dash? Because she had snuck out from Rainbow Dash's with the stuff for rainbows only three days prior. It was a sassy little stuff for rainbows... how could she resist? It didn't take long before Rainbow Dash got back to the subject at hand: her stuff for rainbows. Pinkie Pie belched. Relunctantly, Pinkie Pie invited her over, assuring her they'd find the stuff for rainbows. Rainbow Dash grabbed her microwave and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Pinkie Pie realized that she was in trouble. She had to find a place to hide the stuff for rainbows and she had to do it randomly. She figured that if Rainbow Dash took the '63 Comet, she had take at least eleven minutes before Rainbow Dash would get there. But if she took the clouds? Then Pinkie Pie would be extraordinarily screwed. Before she could come up with any reasonable ideas, Pinkie Pie was interrupted by ten annoying Parasprites that were lured by her stuff for rainbows. Pinkie Pie yawned; 'Not again', she thought. Feeling pleased, she carefully reached for her spoon and randomly deflowered every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the cornfield, squealing with discontent. She exhaled with relief. That's when she heard the clouds rolling up. It was Rainbow Dash.----o0o---- As she pulled up, she felt a sense of urgency. She had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of socks, so she knew she was running late. With a skillful leap, Rainbow Dash was out of the clouds and went explosively jaunting toward Pinkie Pie's front door. Meanwhile inside, Pinkie Pie was panicking. Not thinking, she tossed the stuff for rainbows into a box of spoons and then slid the box behind her piano. Pinkie Pie was stunned but at least the stuff for rainbows was concealed. The doorbell rang. 'Come in,' Pinkie Pie flamboyantly purred. With a inept push, Rainbow Dash opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some clueless idiot in a 5.0 Mustang,' she lied. 'It's fine,' Pinkie Pie assured her. Rainbow Dash took a seat just above where Pinkie Pie had hidden the stuff for rainbows. Pinkie Pie grimaced trying unsuccessfully to hide her nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' she blurted. But Rainbow Dash was distracted. Suddenly, Pinkie Pie noticed a selfish look on Rainbow Dash's face. Rainbow Dash slowly opened her mouth to speak. '...What's that smell?' Pinkie Pie felt a stabbing pain in her leg when Rainbow Dash asked this. In a moment of disbelief, she realized that she had hidden the stuff for rainbows right by her oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A stupid look started to form on Rainbow Dash's face. She turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's socks from when she used to have pet beavers. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Rainbow Dash nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Pinkie Pie could react, Rainbow Dash aggressively lunged toward the box and opened it. The stuff for rainbows was plainly in view. Rainbow Dash stared at Pinkie Pie for what what must've been six days. Rather abruptly, Pinkie Pie groped earnestly in Rainbow Dash's direction, clearly desperate. Rainbow Dash grabbed the stuff for rainbows and bolted for the door. It was locked. Pinkie Pie let out a striking chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Rainbow Dash,' she rebuked. Pinkie Pie always had been a little abrasive, so Rainbow Dash knew that reconciliation was not an option; she needed to escape before Pinkie Pie did something crazy, like... start chucking butterknifes at her or something. Soon afterward, she gripped her stuff for rainbows tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels. Pinkie Pie looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Rainbow Dash. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly she felt a tinge of concern for Rainbow Dash. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Pinkie Pie walked over to the window and looked down. Rainbow Dash was gone.----o0o---- Just yonder, Rainbow Dash was struggling to make her way through the swamp behind Pinkie Pie's place. Rainbow Dash had severely hurt her face during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Parasprites suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the stuff for rainbows. One by one they latched on to Rainbow Dash. Already weakened from her injury, Rainbow Dash yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing she saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Parasprites running off with her stuff for rainbows. About nine hours later, Rainbow Dash awoke, her thigh throbbing. It was dark and Rainbow Dash did not know where she was. Deep in the muddy swamp, Rainbow Dash was abundantly lost. Rather abruptly, she remembered that her stuff for rainbows was taken by the Parasprites. But at that point, she was just thankful for her life. That's when, to her horror, a oversized Parasprite emerged from the vineyard. It was the alpha Parasprite. Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to scream but was cut short when the Parasprite sunk its teeth into Rainbow Dash's arm. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Rainbow Dash's lungs, but not before she realized that she was a failure. Less than six miles away, Pinkie Pie was entombed by anguish over the loss of the stuff for rainbows. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' she cried, as she reached for a sharpened fork. With a mighty thrust, she buried it deeply into her chest. As the room began to fade to black, she thought about Rainbow Dash... wishing she had found the courage to tell her that she loved her. But she would die alone that day. All that remained was the stuff for rainbows that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant Parasprites, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'(LOLz!!1*** L337 Story Generator v1.0*** Written by Derek Clark. Copyright © www.the-elite.net ~ 2004-2005*** Forever pwning with earnest.http://www.the-elite.net/---/story/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=XpH-SmtnOqI#!win
"heyheyhey why don't you suck my richard you dumb bitch? swag."
he's too paranoid
you sir are very paranoid :V
