THE TWO GUY SHOW: ANIMATED (W.I.P)CREATED BY SCOTT HOLLINGSWORTHFIRST DRAFT - 12/26/07EXT. CITYSUPERDUDE, alleged super hero of our time, flys over the city while playing hist “triumphant” theme song. Suddenly, the man of a-lower-form-of-alloy-other-than-steal-due-to-copyright-issues hears a cry for help. DISTANCE SCREAM OH! OH! PLEASE! OH! SUPERDUDE Hark! Is that a cry for help? It sounds as though someone is hurting that poor woman!SUPERDUDE immediately zips through the cityscape crashing through a near-by window, where he heard the distiled cries for help.INT. APPARTMENT WOMAN OH! OH! JOHN! YES! YES!! SUPERDUDE(Confused) Ma'am, are you hurt!? WOMAN *Screams* WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE!?We now see that SUPERDUDE has mistaken the cries for help to merely be cries of love making.The music continues playing as an ANNOUNCER outros the show. ANNOUNCER Join us next time kids, for this exciting episode of Super dude! Next week Super dude vs. THE LAW!INT. COURTROOM LAWYER Ms. McNaughton, can you please point to the man that did this? WOMAN It was him! (pointing to SUPERDUDE) That pervert! LAWYER I rest my case. SUPERDUDE But I!? ...The scene pans back revealing that this was all happening on a busted old TV set.INT. ROOM (DAY)Two friends sit watching the set. One is extremely excited over the show, the other hardly amused. GUY 1 (No name as of now) Why do you watch this stuff!? GUY 2 Because, I, love, ACTION! GUY 1 Action!? You call that action!? Pssh. All that was, was a sleazy dead beat child actor in tight tights trying to make a comeback in a lame 70's serial spin-off! GUY 2 Never insult Christopher Knight! GUY 1 Peter Brady. GUY 2 Stop it. GUY 1 (teasing) Peter Brady! GUY 2 Stop it! GUY 1 (insulting) PETER BRADY! GUY 2 (on the verge of tears) STOP IT!!!They are interrupted by the TV's sudden blare of noise. ANNOUNCER 1 We interrupt this argument to bring you this: ANNOUNCER 2 (Up Beat) Hey all you people out in TV land! Guess what!? Do YOU think you have what it takes to play Super dude in the upcoming motion picture: “SUPERDUDE: THE MOVIE” !!? CHRISTOPHER KNIGHT (off screen) Hey, what about me!? ANNOUNCER 2 Peter Brady. CHRISTOPHER KNIGHT Ok, Ok, enough already. Jeeze! GUY 2 OH JEEBUS, DO I! ANNOUNCER 2 Then come on down to the great “BOLLYWOOD” no... not Hollywood, we were on a budget cut... GUY 2 We've got to get to BOLLYWOOD!And so the two pack up their bags and head in their car, spoofing on the Indiana Jones shot with a red line being drawn on a map to show their progress.EXT. CASTING AUDITIONS LINE UP (DAY)Playing the famous song “Hollywood Dun dun dun dun dee dum dee, Hollywood” The two stand in the front of the line awaiting to be called. CASTING DIRECTOR Next!!! GUY 2 This is it! This is my chance!INT. CASTING ROOM (DAY) CASTING DIRECTOR So. What the hell makes you think you can play Super dude? GUY 2 Well I'm really optimistic, and I love to sing, and ever since I was a little boy, I've always wanted to be in a movie. “No” Said Dad. “But Gorge, its his dream” Said Mom. “Dear, how many times do I have to beat you for you to get it, no son of mine is going to be a prostitute.” CASTING DIRECTOR Prostitute? GUY 2 Prostitute, actor. Same thing right? You dress up, put on make- up, sell yourself for money, and then blow someone to get paid... Sounds the same to me. CASTING DIRECTOR (confused)Uh-huh. Well, um. Yes. Well don't call us, we'll call you. GUY 2 So I got the job!? CASTING DIRECTOR Right. (shoves him out the door)INT. DINER (NIGHT) GUY 2 I totally got the job. I just know it. GUY 1 Now, don't get your hopes up... this is really stupid anyway. GUY 2 You think every thing I do is stupid. GUY 1 Remember the fireworks on the 4'th of July? GUY 2 I do hope Mr. Hammond's cat heals up... GUY 1 Exactly my point.They continue to dine and discus GUY 2's acting career.INT. MOTEL ROOM (DAY)The phone rings. GUY 2 answers it. GUY 2 Hello? (pause) Yes. This is Him. (pause) You mean I didn't get the job? (pause) But, you still want me to come in? (pause) Oh really?! Well thanks, sure, I can do that! GUY 1 Who was that? GUY 2 The Casting Director. She says I didn't make the cut. GUY 1 Then why the hell are you smiling? GUY 2 Cause I get the best job in the world! GUY 1 And what would that be? GUY 2 Well I'm the:INT. MOVIE SET (DAY) ASSITANT DIRECTOR DOUGHNUT BOY! GUY 2 Yessir! ASSITANT DIRECTOR Did you get the box that I specially ordered? GUY 2 Yeah but who could possibly eat 3 pounds of doughnuts in one day?Suddenly music flares to light. A drum roll pierces the silence. A self introduction is spoken aloud. UNKNOWN VOICE (sounding : comic book guy : the Simpsons) Yes, it is I. The great and all seeing director. I have done works of art in my time. The Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, and Return of the King. You know me as: Jackson, Peter Jackson.The crowd on set goes wild. GUY 2 immediately wets himself. PETER JACKSON Alright then, lets get this crapshooter over with shall we? I'm only doing this part time while I work on my masterpiece film : “Halo”. GUY 2 OH, MY, GOD. PETER. JACKSON. PETER JACKSON Yes, you. Over there. GUY 2 Me? PETER JACKSON Yes, you. Where in the hell are my doughnuts? A movie can't be made without them. I didn't have them during King Kong, and we all saw that now didn't we. GUY 2 Oh, yes. Here sir. Eat. Eat your graciousness. PETER JACKSON (with a mouthful) Alright, now in this scene, Super dude you're motivation is this hot young blond is trying to open a jar of pickles. Using your super strength you open the and begin to make out with her passionately. (shudders) Oh yes. Passionately.The scene starts but GUY 2 continues to get in the way. PETER JACKSON Oh, CUT! CUT!!! Who is this on my set? DOUGHNUT BOY! YOU ARE FIRED!He is thrown out of the set and onto the street where he lands on his face. Bleeding.EXT. OUTSIDE OF SET (DAY) GUY 2 (in pain) Oh well. Thats show business. CHRISTOPHER KNIGHT Tell me about it. GUY 2 (smiling) Peter Brady! CHRISTOPHER KNIGHT *starts crying*GUY 1 then walks up to GUY 2 after Christopher Knight runs away crying. GUY 1 So, how'd it go? GUY 2 I got fired. GUY 1 Welp, then looks like you need to get a joba gain to pay rent. GUY 2 Oh, not Mrs. Harrison's fish again. They bite my ass every time. GUY 1 Look. So maybe you weren't cut out for the big screen. Maybe (he looks at the audience.) You were cut out for the small screen.The small fragment of music from Space Odyssey 2001 “dun duuuuun!” Is played and the words:TO BE CONTINUED...WHEN WE FEEL LIKE ITare put up on screen. It then ends and rolls credits.
