>be me, 15yo in highschool
>going on the bus, listening to music as usual
>'Suleiman - peace theme' song from civ v plays
>don't remember downloading this, don't really care and switch to another song
>get to school
>go to first period, english
>forget to turn phone off, it 'rings' during class
>this wasn't my ringtone
>it was 'Suleiman - peace theme' song again
>wtf
>teacher yelling at me
>people laughing at me
>trying to turn it off
>palms sweaty
>knees weak
>moms spagheti
>suddenly, a crash
>"By my beard and belly, I am glad to meet you!"
>the entire class is silent as I turn around to see his big fat body
>Suleiman himself
>he throws his book at the teacher
>he summons his janissaries upon the entire classroom
>one by one they're all shot and brutally getting their throats slit
>his eyes are on my
>he wants to discuss something
>I know what I must do
>I pull my pants down
>he gets closer
>CLOSER
>C L O S E R
>I can feel him, I want to be with him
>the moment is perfect, nothing can-
>"Byzantium has completed he Hagia Sophia!"
>I ask him what's wrong
>Suleiman poofs into thin air as he is defeated
>mfw that's nobodies business but the turks
