XR-7: | ARISE! | - The pain stops as NICEPOINT splashes your Ebola-stricken body with the most powerful hand satinizer he could find, effectively destroying the disease and reviving you! |
BLOOKIRBY: | ARISE! | - Suddenly, one of the cave walls of Hell blows open near you as LEGODUDE77 runs in and takes you through the long tunnel back to the surface! The tunnel doesn't last for long and collapses in after you get out... |
MR QUEEBA: | ARISE! | - You notice MR NOOBLER walk up to your pulverized body and force-feed it some weird pills... You immediately wake up with an extremely sour taste in your mouth and bones intact! |
THE MURDEROUS COP: | ARISE! | - You suddenly watch the space around you fly away as FAILBROS2 lassoes your body back to Earth and zaps you with two defibrillators at once, finally awakening you! |
MERP: | TAILS! | - You fail to resurrect yourself. You feel massively left out as you watch multiple people get dragged back to life for free... |
REFTICUS: | 3
2+1 | - You have PLAD101 treat your erect rooster again and then run up to the wall, fully intending to assault it again. You shortly find out the hole has been blasted too wide for you to actually bone... |
SPACE1255: | 3 | - You assume a fighting stance and wind up your arm for another devastating punch... only to get distracted by REFTICUS' erect sausage, whiff your punch, get spun by the sheer momentum and collapse in a heap. |
REDCONER: | 3
2+1 | - You and THEMRDOORS both get cans of Pringles, and give the BARRICADE a tap as both of them pop open. |
TABLESALT: | 3 | - You brandish a large staff, thrust it into the sky, and witness a portal to the Moon open up as powerful lasers incinerate the... just kidding, instead you look at your weapon in disbelief after witnessing nothing happen. |
TUDORELEU: | 5 | - You grab a large rock off the ground, poise yourself and sling it at the BARRICADE with all your might, hearing an audible screeching sound before the stone embeds itself deep within your target. After leaving such a mark, you promptly look at said mark with disappointment in your eyes. |
POTATOH: | 5 | - Inspired by TUDORELEU's stunt, you pull out an ancient Nokia 3310, get in stance and throw it with the most power you can muster, watching the cellphone plow through the BARRICADE. |
CRITAWAKETS: | 6 | - You mistake TABLESALT's staff for a "healing staff", thrust it into the sky, and manage to actually use it. Multiple portals to the Moon open up in the sky, incinerating the surface of the BARRICADE and surrounding area with powerful lasers sweeping everywhere. You get caught in one of your own lasers and swiftly clatter to the ground as a charred skeleton. TIME TO GET SPOOKY! |
TBER123: | 4 | - You pull POTATOH's cellphone out of the deep crack it caused, phone in the White House and order a drone strike on your immediate location. You then sprint away as drones fly in and bombard the BARRICADE with missiles before flying off. |
STARTACKER: | 4 | - You run up to the wall with a grenade in your hand, arm it and shove it where POTATOH's Nokia once resided before running away to the sweet sound of explosions. |
CRAZY: | 1 | - You try to print out the entirety of DeviantArt's bargain bin submissions to later tape to the BARRICADE, but then you get a glimpse of a few as they're printed out, immediately suffer from brain damage and reflexively torch them along with the entire printer. |
SUPERSTARXALIEN169: | 3 | - You try to lift the BARRICADE with all your mind, calling a few friends over for help, but in spite of the heavy damage everyone's inflicted it simply won't give. |
RABBOT32: | 2 | - You concentrate all of the Internet's chaotic evil into one big fireball and shove it into a large cannon you had conveniently set up beforehand... only for said cannon to blow up in your face, launching you away at 60 km/h and possibly enraging others in its wake... |
KONGO: | 5 | - The hatred fallout from RABBOT32's mishap causes you to immediately hulk out, give the BARRICADE a frenzied yell and begin ferociously wailing on it with both of your fists and all of your weapons at once, like a brother rabid and deranged.
The BARRICADE, not used to having large chunks torn out of it by one man and no longer being able to support its own weight, snaps in half and finally collapses in like an accordion. |
