I feel like such a handicap for not mining bitcoins with my 7950 back in 2013
Honestly, you shouldn't. Pretty early on, it got to the point where non-ASIC miners weren't producing coins worth the electricity and hardware they were mined on.
Now, in hindsight, it would have been worth it if you were to hold onto them until they blew up to $12k, but that's very unlikely in itself.
It's not hard to 'almost be a millionaire' in hindsight. If a hooded figure handed you a spreadsheet detailing exactly how just the Dow 30 will change throughout the next trading day, you could take whatever money is in your bank account, get it leveraged as much as possible, and then become a billionaire by tomorrow by making only the maximally effective trades calculated using a computer.