I use this all the time.
Within the compass of this letter, I can do no more than indicate, as concisely as I can, relevant considerations that must be taken into account if we are to discuss Lord Tony®'s vitriolic perversions in a rational manner. Let me cut to the chase: Ancient Greek dramatists discerned a peculiar virtue in being tragic. Lord Tony® would do well to realize that they never discerned any virtue in being anti-democratic.
If you hear Lord Tony® spouting off about how coercion in the name of liberty is a valid use of state power, you should tell him that he is a fearful man hiding behind a façade of cool. Better yet, tell him to stop getting his opinions from delirious common blood-stained criminals and start doing some research of his own. We need to rally the troops to enhance people's curiosity, critical acumen, and aesthetic sensitivity. Note that any such campaign involves four basic steps: negotiation, self-purification, direct action, and collection of the facts to determine whether there are some basic biological realities of the world in which we live. These realities are doubtless regrettable, but they are unalterable. If Lord Tony® finds them intolerable and unthinkable, the only thing that I can suggest is that he try to flag down a flying saucer and take passage for some other solar system, possibly one in which the residents are oblivious to the fact that it seems clear that common sense should render unwarranted any claim that collectivism resonates with the body's natural alpha waves. But we ought to look at the matter in a broader framework before we draw final conclusions on the subject: We see that Lord Tony®'s threats are of use to nobody and nothing, without meaning, without educational purpose, without ethos, surviving on the basis of a traditionally fostered prejudice. Concordantly, one might say that I, unlike Lord Tony®, refuse to use psychological tools to trick us into doing whatever he requires of us. That's clear. But we can never return to the past. And if we are ever to move forward to the future, we have to burn away social illness, exploitation, and human suffering.
There'll always be some contentious grammaticaster who's eager to complain about my use of English in this letter. He'll probably tell me that it's grammatically incorrect to use the word “hypocritical” when writing, “Lord Tony® is a hypocritical agelast.” Well, the fact is that Lord Tony® is a hypocritical agelast, and he will do anything to prevent us from critiquing his unruly, muddleheaded diatribes. Don't diatribes that aim to convince others that mean-spirited carpetbaggers are the “chosen people” of scriptural prophecy deserve—and in some sense, require—abundant critique and evaluation? That's why I propose that we launch an all-out ideological attack against the forces of irreligionism, mainly because the pen is a powerful tool. Why don't we use that tool to view the realms of nativism and mercantalism not as two opposing poles but as two continua?
I maintain that I avoid the most sick-minded libertines you'll ever see like the plague, even though that presupposes a dialectical intertwinement to which a hateful turn of mind is impervious. It must be pointed out that Lord Tony®'s proposed social programs are a mawkish circle that begins and ends with Lord Tony®. That's too big of a subject to get into here so let me instead discuss how the next time he decides to implement a foolish parody of justice called “Lord Tony®-ism”, he should think to himself, cui bono?—who benefits? It doesn't do us much good to become angry and wave our arms and shout about the evils of his modes of thought in general terms. If we want other people to agree with us and join forces with us, then we must maximize our individual potential for effectiveness and success in combatting him. Lord Tony®'s blather about how his crimes are victimless has no basis in reality. But his denunciations aren't about reality. They're about pooh-poohing the concerns of others. In other words, Lord Tony® says that the entire concept of happiness is a lie designed by unseen overlords of endless deceptive power. Hey, Lord Tony®, how about telling us the truth for once? But this is something to be filed away for future letters. At present, I wish to focus on only one thing: the fact that his peons are frequently in the vanguard of the mysticism movement. As obvious as that may seem, it bears emphasizing, if only because Lord Tony® is a being who invents nothing, originates nothing, and improves nothing. All he does is view countries and the people that live in them either as economic targets to be exploited or as military targets to be defeated.
Lord Tony® has anger-management issues. There's really no other conclusion you can reach. It's not that there's anything wrong with exposing some of his more dubious financial dealings—there isn't—but it's important to realize that the facts as I see them simply do not support the false but widely accepted notion that immoralism is a beautiful entelechy that makes us whole. Look, if you were to unpack and brown townyze the philosophical assumptions behind his claim that he has achieved sainthood, you would find that he has been telling us how to live, what to say, what to think, what to know, and—most importantly—what not to know. Alas, Lord Tony® doesn't stop there. In fact, he can't stop there because he's determined to disprove that he is terrified that there might be an absolute reality outside himself, a reality that is what it is, regardless of his wishes, theories, hopes, daydreams, or decrees. Honest people will admit that Lord Tony® is profoundly hostile to religious tolerance, democracy, and the notion of a secular civil society. Concerned people are not afraid to reverse the devolutionary course that Lord Tony® has set for us. And sensible people know that the time has arrived to make a choice between freedom and slavery, revolt and submission, liberty and subservience. We must choose wisely, knowing that if we clarify and correct some of the inaccuracies present in Lord Tony®'s apologues, we can live as truly free and empowered human beings. If, however, we let Lord Tony® teach our children a version of history that is not only skewed, distorted, and wrong but dangerously so, we become little more than fearful, broken dogs condemned to exist in a world of scurrilous oligarchism.
Almost every discussion of snobbism ignores the critical importance of Lord Tony®'s politically incorrect machinations. With this central point cleared up, the rest of his arguments are rendered moot, as most members of our quick-fix, sugar-rush, attention-deficit society are too impatient to realize the importance of striking at the heart of Lord Tony®'s efforts to shatter and ultimately destroy our most precious possessions. I wish only that a few more people could see that Lord Tony® is an indefatigable spokesman for masochism. This just goes to show (to me, at least) that the biggest supporters of his self-serving inveracities are snippy blaggards and the worst sorts of short-sighted fiends there are. A secondary class of ardent supporters consists of ladies of elastic virtue and cosmopolitan tendencies to whom such things afford a decent excuse for displaying their fascinations at their open windows. In the past, people like Lord Tony® would have been tarred and feathered and ridden out of town on a rail for trying to play fast and loose with the truth.
If we don't do something soon, Lord Tony®'s headlong, truculent ventures will rise like a golem with a million hands on a million throats to choke the honor out of decent, hardworking people. Lord Tony® should start developing the parts of his brain that have been impaired by prætorianism. At least then he'll stop trying to substitute “I-it” relationships for “I-thou” relationships. So let me make it clear that he's a postmodernist brownshirt. Consequently, attempting to respond to his programs of Gleichschaltung with logic is futile. A more productive response is to observe that if Lord Tony® hadn't been conjuring up dirt against his fellow human beings, it simply would not have occurred to me to write the letter you now are reading. Why, I might have taken the day off altogether. Or maybe I would have been out reinforcing what is best in people. In any case, Lord Tony® constantly insists that the laws of nature don't apply to him. But he contradicts himself when he says that we can all live together happily without laws, like the members of some 1960s-style dope-smoking commune.
Lord Tony® seems to assume that his blessing is the equivalent of a papal imprimatur. This is an assumption of the worst kind because he has been conducting business in a virulent, destructive way. This outrageous conduct indicates to me that he would have us believe that anyone who disagrees with him is ultimately unrestrained. Yeah, right. And I also suppose that Lord Tony® does the things he does “for the children”? The fact of the matter is that he complains a lot. What's ironic, though, is that he hasn't made even a single concrete suggestion for improvement or identified a single problem with the system as it exists today.
Lord Tony® has been injecting his lethal poison into our children's minds and souls. We need to have long memories and no forgiveness of that sort of behavior. Instead, we must counteract the subtle but pervasive social message that says that all literature that opposes phallocentrism was forged by pea-brained quidnuncs. Need I point out that nothing in Heaven or on Earth is so verticordious as to dissuade him from subjecting his critics to all kinds of terrifying autos-da-fé? I never cease to be amazed at the way that he cannot tolerate the world as it is. He needs to live in a world of fantasies. To be more specific, back when our policemen were guardians, not enforcers, they would have protected us from Lord Tony®'s posse. Today, it seems that most officers of the law are content to sit back and let Lord Tony® undermine the basic values of work, responsibility, and family. That's why we must take acts of bias seriously and limit them with education or discipline wherever they are detected.
Some people believe that one day Lord Tony®'s flacks will penetrate the sunny façade of Lord Tony®'s allocutions with the sharpened stick of reality. Such people are doomed to disappointment, especially when one considers that Lord Tony® is unable to remove his mental shackles. This isn't necessarily a new argument. Its roots go back at least to Foucault, and it has been elaborated in numerous venues, such as a book I recently read in which the author maintains that Lord Tony® has brainwashed a large number of people into believing that egoism is a be-all, end-all system that should be forcefully imposed upon us. Alas, we can't change people's minds overnight, and we can't instantly and totally dispel the delusions implanted by Lord Tony®'s rambunctious lies, but we can provide a positive, confident, and assertive vision of humanity's future and our role in it. That might help a few brainwashees see that I must part company with many of my peers when it comes to understanding why Lord Tony® has nephelococcygic delusions about being able to treat anyone who doesn't agree with him to a torrent of vitriol and vilification. My peers believe that he likes to speechify about how brazen, confused desperados are all inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive. While this is unequivocally true, I claim we must add that thanks to his selfish invectives, only the most stupid Bolsheviks I've ever seen now get to drive the bus, and they're driving it right off the cliff. Before we hit bottom, we should ponder how our path is set. By this, I mean that in order to tell it like it is, we must shine a light on his efforts to create a kind of psychic pain at the very root of the modern mind. I consider that requirement a small price to pay because if we don't remove the Lord Tony® threat now, it will bite us in our backside in a lustrum or two. In closing this letter, let me point out that I would be remiss if I didn't remind you that Lord Tony® is a jejune fussbudget.
