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Off Topic / A startling confession, and my attempt to move on...
« on: July 10, 2021, 09:11:56 AM »
Hi, some of you may know me from my various forum appearances, and my brief tenure as Pecon's CPA, but what you don't know is that I'm actually dead.
Yes, I know... crazy, right?
Now let me explain. I passed away April 20th 2019 from a fatal CBD overdose (It was pretty lit let me tell ya), stopping my heart and causing me painful seizers. I don't think I need to explain how much of a mess I made, that much CBD would make any man stuff and piss themselves uncontrollably, but I digress. My passage from my mortal life into my immortal life (Yes there is a heaven, and yes the Mormons were right) was going well, however upon passing through the pearly gates I was overcome with a sinking feeling followed by literally falling through the loving floor. You might be asking yourself "But Frontrox, you passed through the gates, you were home free!", and you'd be right if it wasn't for your cripplingly low IQ, handicap. You see, God is an starfish, a bored and omnipotent starfish so this was basically par for the course for him. He knows things about me that I don't even know, knows things about you, everyone and he figured that I might have some unfinished business here on the forums. What sort of business you might ask? I don't loving know.
With this single decision God consigned me to an unlife of abstract pain and misery, unable to move on I suffer here on this blue marble, my personal Hell. Which brings me to the real reason for this post... A plea.
A plea to Badspot to PULL THE loving PLUG PLEASE END MY SUFFERING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (This is not a ban request)
Yes, I know... crazy, right?
Now let me explain. I passed away April 20th 2019 from a fatal CBD overdose (It was pretty lit let me tell ya), stopping my heart and causing me painful seizers. I don't think I need to explain how much of a mess I made, that much CBD would make any man stuff and piss themselves uncontrollably, but I digress. My passage from my mortal life into my immortal life (Yes there is a heaven, and yes the Mormons were right) was going well, however upon passing through the pearly gates I was overcome with a sinking feeling followed by literally falling through the loving floor. You might be asking yourself "But Frontrox, you passed through the gates, you were home free!", and you'd be right if it wasn't for your cripplingly low IQ, handicap. You see, God is an starfish, a bored and omnipotent starfish so this was basically par for the course for him. He knows things about me that I don't even know, knows things about you, everyone and he figured that I might have some unfinished business here on the forums. What sort of business you might ask? I don't loving know.
With this single decision God consigned me to an unlife of abstract pain and misery, unable to move on I suffer here on this blue marble, my personal Hell. Which brings me to the real reason for this post... A plea.
A plea to Badspot to PULL THE loving PLUG PLEASE END MY SUFFERING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (This is not a ban request)
