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Messages - Willymcmilly

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Drama / Re: God damn it
« on: December 18, 2020, 11:52:53 PM »
i cant live like with this in my mind. even if i go to hell its not like itll be any different. a fist full of ibuprofen and a bottle of cough syrup means i wont have to feel any of this when i start bleeding. not the humiliation or the pain. good night everyone.

User was banned for this post

Drama / Re: God damn it
« on: December 17, 2020, 07:53:10 PM »

You good bro?

Basic computer nerd stuff. I used it to torrent some games as you can see elsewhere on my desktop.

Drama / Re: God damn it
« on: December 17, 2020, 07:50:34 PM »

Please step down from the soapbox. forget your magazine, and forget the long dead plastic scene!

I was talking about the time I was 14 and searched "child research" because I wanted to see what came up. I have never possessed any. The cub stuff is long gone.

Drama / Re: God damn it
« on: December 17, 2020, 03:42:34 PM »

Less than two weeks ago huh willy... hmmmm... strange... stay on your toes

That's NOT ME I'm going TO loving VOMIT

Drama / Re: God damn it
« on: December 17, 2020, 02:59:51 PM »
NEVER AGAIN as in I'm NEVER going back to degeneracy AGAIN

Drama / Re: God damn it
« on: December 17, 2020, 02:58:10 PM »
haha hold on wait what the forget does “never again” mean? you’ve groomed people before?

NO. I knew someone would use that wording mistake against me.

Drama / Re: God damn it
« on: December 17, 2020, 10:30:27 AM »
So I come back to this place and I talk about it. I have nothing to lose here.

Drama / Re: God damn it
« on: December 17, 2020, 10:06:45 AM »
I keep coming back because it never goes away. I had to drop my entire identity and hide from it. It's become personal. It has affected the course of my life. It has ruined relationships. How am I supposed to just forget about it?

Drama / God damn it
« on: December 17, 2020, 04:54:39 AM »
I know it's a terrible idea to bring it up again but holy stuff is it bugging me, this constant regret and dread hanging over me lately. I get flashbacks to that thread several times a week now. It makes me so sick. I feel like the only way to clear my mind is to reiterate that I'm nothing like I was when I was 15 or 16. I was jacking it several times a day since I was 11 to weird furry stuff. I was super forgeted up and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. Do you understand what that much loveual stimulation can do to someone? It conditions them to like and accept things that they should be repulsed by. It's the reason they tell us now that its healthy to masturbate all the time, so that we all become desensitized and gay. How did I change? I grew up, I lost my stupid puberty hormones and I broke the pattern by abstaining. I can't go back to it. I don't even feel like a furry anymore. I'm barely attracted to guys anymore. And I will never EVER be attracted to kids. Mark my words. You will never find me grooming like Evar or in a love offender registry.

Off Topic / Re: adulting is loving hard
« on: December 17, 2020, 03:08:57 AM »
And I'll stand by that statement, but I'm not bringing drama to a random OT thread to explain it,

Off Topic / Re: adulting is loving hard
« on: December 17, 2020, 03:01:34 AM »
You don't have to derail the thread, I'm not a child enthusiast.

Off Topic / Re: adulting is loving hard
« on: December 17, 2020, 01:51:01 AM »
Immediately people say "take meds" but that's not how you treat your depression. Medication is a supplement, not a solution. If you want any advice, foremost think about how you're treating yourself. E.g. diet, exercise, sleep schedule, sunlight. Perhaps something is wrong there and it's making you exhausted. I had the same issues in high school because I was neglecting myself.

Please note that I have to engineer some things to avoid the april fools word filter which I believe is in effect at the time of writing this. Phuck becomes "forget", pr0n becomes "research", p-phile becomes "child enthusiast", secks becomes "love", and so on. I'm afraid that it will completely throw off my point.

A moderately traumatizing event that went down just last night brought to my attention that an old alias is still attached to something terrifying that can be found with little effort whatsoever by manipulative psychopaths who have the intent to ruin others' lives online and outside. I'm only now taking action to finish separating myself from it, but some things are impossible to change and therefore still carry the curse of 'Willymcmilly'.

In hopes that those trying to burn down everything around me will find this post and hold their phucking horses, I want to explain.

I am not a p-phile, I have not exploited a minor or had the intent of exploiting minors. I am not in possession of CP, nor am I seeking it out or viewing it in any way. I am innocent, and simply made a series of bad choices.

I was around 15, lacking a good amount of self-awareness and going through a very phucked up phase at the time. This was all because of puberty, hormones, loneliness, and way too much time on the internet. I had no friends to hang out with or anything I wanted to do outside of video games and jacking it. Yes, I was convinced that I was a p-phile. I told myself it was cool. However, as I said, this was only a phase.
By the time I turned 17 I had a major boost in maturity. Things have changed dramatically since then. I'm about finished going through puberty and my hormones are settling down. I have stuff to do and friends to talk to.

Before it's brought up, I do have some odd kinks that I was braindead enough to reveal with excitement to everyone on the off-topic forum. I'm not going to try and deny that because it's a stuff-ton less embarrassing than what I proceeded to do.

Badspot, or anyone else who has the power to delete stuff, if you're reading this, I ask you to consider purging everything to do with the incident to save me any more trouble, even if it includes my account. If you don't, that's fine too.
This will hopefully be the last you see of me on the BLF. Have a good life.

Off Topic / Re: what do you want for capitalistmas
« on: November 03, 2017, 09:41:00 PM »
A forget ton of Steam money and a digital drumset, boi

Off Topic / Re: [NEWS]Antifa starting a civil war tomorrow.
« on: November 03, 2017, 07:16:04 PM »
I have a feeling nothing big will really happen. They'll go out there, shout some stuff and call it a day.

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