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Messages - Mr. Opioid

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1
Off Topic / Re: The Chronology of the Blockland Forums
« on: January 29, 2024, 11:26:52 AM »
I think it had to do with Blockland's lack of reception after it's Steam Greenlight phase

Yeah, basically

This was like his one W almost but the fact he just abandoned it is still kind of stuffty in retrospect. Yeah it's a stuffty situation to be in but then actively disabling your code and making it so people can't use your toys just because you won't be around to play with it was a supreme richard move. So much stuff broken by that

2
General Discussion / Re: What does username RLCBM stand for?
« on: January 29, 2024, 11:15:12 AM »
love the guy, he's like the most feral autistic person you know but completely benign and wholesome, just wants to hunt you down and tell you about time zones and lossless audio. can't hold a grudge, will never hate, just wants you to know what he knows

3
Drama / Re: my final message to badspot
« on: November 11, 2023, 11:55:12 PM »
thinking about all the stuff that went down on here


4
Off Topic / Re: blockland: the community that killed the game
« on: February 20, 2023, 07:04:49 PM »
Reading through this thread has been cathartic. I dunno where to start with everything.

The beginning should work. I joined these forums when I was first 7. It wasn't too bad at first but I started to stick out and that wasn't a good thing. A 7 year old just didn't have the faculties to deal with that kind of large negative attention. I think it just got really bad when the build theft drama happened and then I made that abominably stupid "Truth" thread. That was a couple weeks after my 8th birthday. The aftermath of that loving destroyed my self-esteem. I don't think it was a coincidence that the week after that, someone I thought I could trust in my life started making loveual advances. Vultures can smell weakness.

I won't pretend to be a victim beyond reproach though. For one, you can't really blame a fire for burning the wood that you throw into it. I don't hold ill will towards anyone who made fun of me or whatever back in the day. I was kind of asking for it, especially with that "roblox is horse terds[sic]" thread, and my chronic tendency to not understand what the forget was going on and just keep saying stupid stuff over and over. I only wish I had been a lil' bit dumber so I couldn't keep finding my way back on the forums. The other thing I can think of is all the stuff I'd do for the sake of attention and trying to chase the holy grail of being "accepted" as one of teh kool kidz, and a lot of it was just not okay. A couple examples I can think of off the top of my mind are:

  • Rughugger - The loving edgy comment I made in that thread wasn't okay and no excuse or rationalization could ever undermine just how stuffty it really was. I'm sorry for that.
  • SailorMan - Might be small but at the end of the day I stole the dude's plane build and tried to pass it off as my own. Well, to be fair, it was one of my friends who tried to pass it off as his so I really ripped him off instea- whatever. Shouldn't have tried to steal his stuff, I'm sorry for that.
  • Anyone else I hurt or otherwise alienated in all the stupid bullstuff I got up to. I'm sorry if I did anything to hurt you, and I should never have done it.

It probably didn't help that the Drama board was the one that I lurked the most. I know a lot of people somewhat parasocially through that, like familiar names and stuff that popped up here and there, though I don't really know them. However, trying to use that place as an extraction for "how to act" was just setting myself up to fail, though unfortunately those failures rippled out and hurt other people. Speaking of, the stuff about all the groomers and child enthusiasts on this site doesn't surprise me too much. The normalization of those topics was devastating. I'm pretty sure I even got approached by one on RTB chat but I turned him down, at that point I was already "seeing someone", we'll put it that way. I'm just glad that now people have taken the initiative to kick those starfishs out and show them no respect or dignity. Such a thing alone is its own sweet reward for everything.

It'll soon be 10 years since all of this started. I haven't slept or eaten since I made my last post in the Plastiware thread. Part of it is because the nature of that thread caused a lot of memories to come flooding back that I hadn't previously thought of, but I think a major part of it is also that this site still loving scares me, some sort of childish fear that overcomes me and it's hard to work with. It lurks on my mind, keeps things too alive, makes it so that I can't relax, etc. Maybe I can do something to try and fight that back. DrenDran asked earlier why people would keep coming back if they had no positive attachment to the forum. I suspect it would have to do with some form of trauma reenactment. I think a lot of people just had bad experiences on this forum and coming back to try and post in the present day is a form of reclaiming power over that, reliving the experiences on here but towards their favor, to try and make this forum hurt less, or some other way of finding a silver lining in all the chaos. I know it's probably the same for me.

And yet in all the stufftalking of this game that one could do, there's still a lot of positive memories to be had. Blockland's burrowed its way into my identity in a way that I can't really escape, with all of the memories and experiences. I've got a lot of nostalgia with this game. A lot of happy and funny moments that couldn't be had anywhere else. This game really was special. I got a lot out of it just as it took a lot out from me, a complex sort of relationship where I can't bring myself to take a definitive stance on whether this was all a good or bad thing. For what it was though, it was just a thing in my life. And I'll always remember this game, no matter where I go, whether that's for better or worse.

5
Drama / Re: Plastiware was arrested for child research
« on: February 20, 2023, 01:27:26 AM »
quite honestly i think child enthusiasts should kill themselves and you shouldn't try to talk with them as if they're functioning human beings

Posting again since me and Unov talked more about this in DMs and I want to elaborate on something.

When I first started writing that post, there was a much more accusatory and vindictive tone I had in mind that you can still see on the first few sentences of the post. But I figured that I didn't want to come off as "guilt tripping" or "too emotional" and tried to focus on something rehabilitative, under the assumption that beneath the veneer of something so messed up and disgusting that there has to be something there, some sort of humanity that would obligate and compel oneself to do the right thing. That was probably a mistake. As Unova put it to me, "there's no real appeal that you can make that his family, the law, and other people much closer to him than you are haven't made at the time he had made that post". Shouldn't have bothered trying.

Thanks to Shock for his brilliant writeup the other page, and Pixel had a pretty good reply that captured the whole essence but in only 3 sentences. Reid VanBemmel (because calling you Plastiware lets you hide this), if you're still lurking on this thread because I know you probably are, and you still feel the need to defend some kind of non existent honor and explain how it wasn't actually that bad and was just a blemish you're trying to clear up, just kill yourself. If you can't do the work, just kill yourself. You'd be doing the world a much bigger favor that way.

6
Drama / Re: Plastiware was arrested for child research
« on: February 20, 2023, 12:40:38 AM »
I know this post is literally a month old at this point but I have thoughts and I can't contain them, I need to say something.

skip

Recently I worked up the courage to look at some old pictures of myself back when I was 8 again. I look at myself, so small and innocent. All I can think of is "how could you?" Those were the worst things that ever happened to me. And they're still out there.

I feel like I'm guilt tripping here. Like I'm just saying stuff for no reason. But really, how could you? Judging by what other people said about the law that prosecuted you, and by the nature of this post, "photos of nudists" is certainly a light way to put it. You got more specific later on, but why try to downplay it?

You say that you know how bad it is, that you're genuinely sorry, this and all that. But why would you feel the need to come back, and "clarify" like this? It downplays it to a degree. Those are the worst days of those children's lives, forever immortalized, and you played into that. Maybe you could have been photos of me on there, but I get the feeling you prefer little girls. I know people who were put in photos like these, and maybe "home movies" if you had those too. It is the worst thing that happened to them, if they can even remember that period of their lives and aren't just dealing with it's shadow. I won't be much more specific than that, it's their story and their voice, not mine, but I want you to understand how devastating this is. Every day I have to look in my dad's eyes and see a man who tries to forget how he failed to protect his son, a mother who constantly blames herself just for being mentally distracted by a loving divorce. We have to live with that for the rest of our lives.

Still, I do not believe that my arrest, conviction, and sentence were fair given the circumstances.

Perhaps. They should have asked the people that you saved abuse imagery of what they thought should be done to you.

Regardless, I had some unresolved issues that I'm glad have been straightended out.  Not really an apology so much as a clarification as to where I am, what I've done, and how I've paid my debt to society.

What do you mean here? You do not straighten out child enthusiasm. This is a life long condition. (https://www.missingkids.org/content/dam/missingkids/pdfs/publications/nc70.pdf) If you wanted to straighten this out, you need to make a lifelong commitment to never hurt children again, to do what it takes to find the supportive people who can help you refrain from doing that, and if you aren't mature enough to do that yet, let the system do it for you. I know it sucks. This isn't a burden anybody asks to be born with. But it's what you have to do. There's no paying back debts for this, not a convenient outing like with depression where you overcome the things that make you sad and retake your life. This is something you have to live with as much as I have to live with it's consequences. The fact you think you can run away from this makes me worried. I don't want you to harm anymore children, and I know that you don't wanna harm anymore children! But if you want to "repay your debts" to society, you have to take the precautions to make sure that no more harm can come again, and I'm sorry but thinking of it like this doesn't do it right.

The link I put in parentheses above is a criminal report on child molestation and other love crimes like child research possession. It's from the framework of the criminal justice system, rather than a psychological one, and isn't intended as an end all be all manual, but I think there's some wisdom and insight to be held regardless. Maybe you or others in this thread could find insight and know where to draw lines and how to recognize behavior and deal with it in appropriate ways. I can't stress this enough, the only way to move forward from this is to take all precautions necessary to ensure you never harm or exploit minors ever again, and I'm sorry but your posts don't give me that impression. I want to believe you aren't capable of that anymore, or at least have the ways to deal with it so that harm is minimalized. But I can't, and that scares me. The way you're speaking about this and getting off the registry like it's a blemish in your life that can best be scrubbed out and not a deep indictment of your character and indicator of major problems that need life long correction is just terrifying. I don't want you to try to forget about this because it's going to come back up again and might get people hurt in even worse ways, least of all yourself. And I don't even want to entertain the possibility that you're lying about all of this and have relapsed a long time ago.

tl;dr If you want to "pay your debts" to society, you should try living with it and coping just as the victims have to deal with it's aftermath.

7
Drama / Re: [BRICKADIA NEWS] Port, fiance of Evar, proven to like kids
« on: October 10, 2022, 12:37:23 PM »
I grew up here and registered an account when I was only 11 years old and I do not suffer any lasting mental consequences from my time here. I've had more than my fair share of what you might call "internet bullying" aka getting called mean things by hormone-raging high school teenagers as well as early run-ins with notable forum degenerates like Port. Developing thick skin is an expected and crucial part of growing up, something that most contemporary internet dwellers lack.

I'd argue there's some legitimate trauma I suffered from being here but I think that's just because I started using the forums when I was 7. At that point it's cause and effect.

The handful of people who end up mentally screwed are almost always either the result of bad relationships with their parents or already had some kind of pre-existing mental condition.

If we're counting autism then that's basically the entire forum lol. But overall I do half agree in that I do think the forum itself can be traumatic, but overall the people who tend to be un well adjusted from their experiences here tend to have many outside experiences that weigh heavily in it. The forum certainly won't help but it can't do much damage on it's own. In that sense it's like violent video games /s

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Drama / Re: A final update from us
« on: July 08, 2022, 02:46:51 PM »
cptsd gang but also probably not the best idea to open up about complex/vulnerable traumatic experiences and conditions on the blockland forums even if the forums arent entirely as aggressive as it used to be

9
I still think about Blockaloni sometimes. He used to make these horror games that were basically like haunted house tours where you walked through a somewhat spooky map while guys on a monsters team would teleport around and try to spook the stuff out of you. Simplistic, but it worked. Those games were fun. I still play through the save I have of Face Your Fears 3 sometimes just for the sake of the nostalgia. People say that 2013-14 was apart of the decline but there were some good times those years too.

10
Off Topic / Re: things you wanna buy
« on: April 23, 2022, 11:16:06 PM »
buy me the Zedrow Car

11
General Discussion / Re: Biggest Regrets?
« on: December 13, 2021, 04:16:30 PM »
My biggest regret is consistently loosing saves on every installation of Blockland over the years.
I have lost a whole set of saves three times in a row every time I played BL throughout 2010 to 2015.
I mean, sometimes it wasn't my fault.. Like, when my father destroyed my laptop when I was 12 because, he 'didn't want me to play blockland anymore'.
So, he tossed my laptop across the room and RIP pc and RIP all of my saves back in 2012.

definitely this minus the dad throwing laptop part. i had a whole lot of cool saves and stuff that i miss.

def also regret some of the autistic drama i got into on this forum. it's loving hilarious in retrospect but did not have a healthy impact on me growing up

12
Off Topic / Re: when did roblox start looking better than blockland?
« on: January 18, 2021, 12:11:56 PM »
one has the backing of a corporation worth $29.5 billion and the other was a relatively indie effort so it was kind of inevitable

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https://cybernews.com/news/70tb-of-parler-users-messages-videos-and-posts-leaked-by-security-researchers/
https://gizmodo.com/every-deleted-parler-post-many-with-users-location-dat-1846032466

70tb of parler data has been leaked online, this includes all the pictures, texts and databases.

apparently before they got booted by everyone, they had dogstuff security, and it doesn't surprise me, because the website itself was dogstuff

my suspicions of parler being a massive honeypot for the FBI was right

there was also apparently forgettons of XSS exploits and unsecure stuff about the website lmfaoo

holy stuff i predicted it

man when this site gets hacked and those SSN's are leaked people are gonna lose their stuff

14
Drama / Re: God damn it
« on: December 17, 2020, 07:09:21 PM »
I was talking about the time I was 14 and searched "child research" because I wanted to see what came up. I have never possessed any. The cub stuff is long gone.

if what you're saying is true and you get flashbacks to this forum everyday about that thread i recommend therapy, like not even kidding you shouldn't be experiencing flashbacks to this forum

15
man when this site gets hacked and those SSN's are leaked people are gonna lose their stuff

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