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Drama / Re: I'm sick of the children on this game
« on: August 12, 2010, 10:01:09 PM »Look how jealous these toddlers are of my wide array of extensive* and unique vocabulary words. Like a master musician COMMA** I make beautiful music with them, don't I?*** However, your ears don't seem to enjoy the tunes.Did**** a flick a string too hard on the metaphorical instrument that is your heart?*****
Quote
Look how jealous these toddlers are of my extensive and unique vocabulary words. Like a master musician, I make beautiful music with them. Do I not? However, your ears don't seem to enjoy the tunes. Do I flick a string on your heart, the metaphorical instrument, too hard?
*Sure is repetitive redundancy in here.
**Sure is comma splice in here.
***Sure is nonessential participle phrase in here.
****Sure isn't same tense as rest of paragraph in here.
*****Sure is awkward clause in here. Try appositive.
Also, the metaphorical instrument here is your vocabulary. Your grammar is horrible. Go back to fourth grade please.
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