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« on: December 03, 2008, 11:23:24 PM »
I went undercover using the alias "Groucho Marx." Very inconspicuous if you ask me.
Observation has revealed the following details:
The family is a typical nuclear family. Perhaps somewhat careless when it comes to parenting, since they leave books on love within reach of their young children.
Dusty12 is the "mother" of child "Julie" and most definitely married to "Guilmon." She hates Runescape. She likes to yell "OMFG A PEEPING TOM." Apparently she is not willing to accept the consequences of having half of her house built entire from glass from the floor to the ceiling, without any blinds, shutters, or even a privacy fence.
"Julie" is a girl roughly 1/4 of an inch tall. It is assumed that she is "Dusty12's" child.
"Guilmon" is the father. He talked about dead hands a lot.
"Mr.Cool" evidently has some relation to the family but it as of yet it remains undisclosed. For now, he is classified as a "resident." Mr.Cool has stated "im a hedehog"
"Devil May Cry" is apparently a ferret. Posing as a representative from the Associated Press, I asked him if he was, in fact, a ferret. His response: "mrrr."
The dwelling itself is peculiar. I was only able to examine it in the server briefly. The front door was locked so I couldn't see much of the interior, as windows were very strangely placed and only allow you to see into three or so rooms. Someone appeared to have broken into the house at one point, but they were promptly banned.
However, through the power of modern technology, I was able to replicate the structure in full 3d to explore under less hostile conditions. The structure consists of roughly 1517 bricks. The living room has blue carpeting and two orange mushroom shaped tables. On one wall is a television set. It's huge; it reminds me eerily of Fahrenheit 451. I was thoroughly impressed with the sound system - a whopping 46 speakers.
Behind the living room lies a room I assume is a dining room and kitchen. It is carpeted in orange on one-half; the other half is kitchen tile. There is no furniture at all, so they must eat off the floor. To the right is a door that leads into the "greenhouse." I assume they grow all of their food here, since there was no refrigerator in the house.
The first door on my left leads to a horrible abomination I can only assume is a "library." This is a long room with a burgundy carpet. At the far end lies a fireplace. At the end closest to me are two pink lounge chairs and a large pink sofa. In one corner lies a table with three empty glasses. In the other corner lies a lamp upon a small end table. In the center lies a bookcase populated by a selection of books that would typically exist only in my nightmares. I have enclosed a list of the titles of the books:
How to Tickle His Pickle
Book on HTML Coding
love Positions: Volume 1
love Positions: Volume 2
Cooking for Dummies
Book on Childcare
Book about Dinosaurs
Book about love
A photo album containing Julie's baby pictures
Book about Ancient Greece
Roughly 30% of the books this family has are about love. If I didn't know any better, I'd infer from the shear quantity of love and family living books that this family was either stuck in the 1950's "scientific" method of child raising or in some bizarre fertility cult. I hope How to Tickle His Pickle is about tickling pickles, but fear of what may actually be contained within those pages has kept me from opening it. And judging the from how heavy the books is, the author appears to actually have quite a lot to say about the process of tickling pickles.
The bedroom is spacious with a nice blue carpet - and no furniture. This family is rather Spartan. The bedroom has no windows, and therefore fails fire code requirements for an emergency escape route. It also has no artificial light source or ventilation (which is illegal in living space). Oh and did I mention that they evidently all share the same bedroom?
The bathroom has a small footprint, but it does have a large bathtub - which occupies roughly half the space. In the corner lies a small toilet. I assume these people wash their hands in the bathtub and with the absence of a kitchen, probably their vegetables too.
The server has many run-of-the-mill rules: Do not be a noob, do not spam bricks, and do not ask for admin. In addition to some more unconventional rules... Do not be a homoloveual, do not be a threat, do not watch research sicko, do not enter GUI home... In fact, the rules state "DO NOT BE A IDIOT" and then "DO NOT CALL NAMES" which seems rather paradoxical to me.
And finally, a short conversation I had with the family, while attempting to learn more about them:
Groucho Marx: Knock knock.
Groucho Marx: Hello?
Groucho Marx: May I interest you in a copy of the 12th edition of the American Academic encyclopedia?
Dusty12: No. Go away JULIE STOP OPENEING DOOR
Dusty12: MY GOD
Groucho Marx: Sorry to bother you.
Julie: (kicks sales men in privates)
Julie: (laughs)
Groucho Marx: Excuse me
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