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General Discussion / Re: Is this wiki on Badspot true?
« on: January 20, 2014, 11:29:54 AM »
I think we should quote this entire article, just as protection from vandalism. It'll all get deleted and replaced with a picture of gore research in a week anyway.
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Background
Badspot, also known as Eric Hartman is the creator of the popular computer game Blockland. Born in 1969 as Eric Dufrense, was adopted by Johnathan and Lisa Hartman at the age of 3 after his parents were killed during a camping trip when a tree fell on them. Eric had always done poorly in school and during his sophomore year in high school, he dropped out to pursue a career in musical theater. For three years, Eric performed in plays such as The Hooker on the Left and the Tigers in Rip-Off Clothing. Eric experienced a two year period of unemployment, misery, and failure before moving to the the Democratic Republic of the Congo and meeting his first wife Ononda Mabwansu. Eric fathered three interracial children who each died during their respective childhoods due to contracting Malaria. He lived in the DRC for seven years before his wife was brutally murdered and devoured by a crowd of starving Congolese men. The following evening, Eric proceeded to harass the local tribe's chief. Angered by his actions, the local tribesmen drove Eric out of the DRC with spears and torches. + guy that made blokland − − Eric fled the DRC and flew to Sydney, Australia where he found work under a local Shop N' Go. He then became loveually involved with one his fellow workers Mark McGoldrick. They had a very intimate relationship for three years which ended when Eric had found out about Mark's affair with a woman who worked in a nearby 7-11. Eric was furious, and he swore to get revenge one day. But for now, Eric quit his job at the Shop N' Go, suffered a bout of deep depression and attempted to take his life sixteen times, each time failing due to his own cowardice. He forced himself to live the life of a hermit in the Outback for several years before coming to his senses and flying to the UK to live with his elderly and crippled adoptive parents.
− − Eric spent much of his time on his computer and took an online course in programming to learn how to code in Torque Script. After completing the course, Eric started coding what is now the popular computer game known as Blockland. He eventually abandoned his project when he met a 25 year old Chinese woman on an online dating site and he chatted with her daily for three months.
Their chatting eventually became an exchange of provocative photos. Eric wanted to propose to his online girlfriend so he decided to fly to China to meet her in person. He was sorely disappointed when he discovered that she was actually a 65 year old wrinkly Buddhist monk who lived in Cheng Du.
− While in Cheng Du, Eric was jumped by some local thieves and found himself without any money to fly back to the UK.
− − Homeless and broke, Eric wandered the streets of China until he found work as an exotic masseuse. He again fell in love with a co-worker named Yun Ling Chen and they were married within two years. He had seven children all of which grew up to become doctors. Both Eric and his wife had an extremely early retirement and they both lived off the income of their children. Now bored with his life, Eric returned to his work on Blockland, which he finished in 2007. He planned to release the game as "Brickscape" but was advised by his close friend Bei Liu to pick a different name.
− − Once he had released Blockland, Eric bought a private jet and flew to Egypt to purchase himself a camel. He rode the camel all the way to Sydney, Austalia to get revenge. He rode up to Mark's house and knocked on his door. Mark opened the door, and then Eric ran over Mark, killing him. Eric heard sirens, so he fled from the scene. He brought the camel back to China to find that his wife had disappeared. Her body was found five weeks later in the Chi Bi River. No one has been charged with murder, but some suspect that it may have been her disapproving father who hated Eric.
− − Eric took a trip to DRC to overthrow the government and lead a violent rebellion which would throw the DRC into utter chaos. He is currently the commander of the Communist Congolese Lion Cavalry based in the village of Kilanga several miles from the capital. He is preparing for his march on the capital which is planned to occur on the next lunar eclipse to symbolize the change of government. His troops are being given daily doses of bath salts to neutralize their common sense in battle.
--Eric's rooster has been measured by his ex-wife, Michelle Obama, to be exactly 45 feet long. He gets all the ladies in town.
--In late 2008, Badspot married Ephialtes. They since lived a happily life and have adopted 9 african children with AIDS. 7 of them died, leaving the only with 2. They named one Bisjac and the other Kalphiter, which in 2008.5 they brutally murdered for throwing a tempter tantrum.
--In February 2012, Badspot hired a 34 year old man named kompressor to kill the bedroom. The manhunt went on for 6 months and shortly after satellites picked up DNA of Badspot and kompressor, they were arrested in Abbottabad, Pakistan in their hideout. They pled guilty and were executed for the murder of 7 adults and 1 bedroom. After 30 seconds of their executions, they respawned and shot up a school in Connecticut. Then Kalphiter was resurrected by $20 and then became extremely gay and died.
-- -- In 2013, Eric got fed up with a Danish orphan boy named Okiver. He pushed him out of his Blockland group and locked him in his basement. Okiver went crazy, and chewed through the drywall to escape. He came in through the back window when Eric was sleeping, and raided through all the unlocked Blockland files. He shut down the master server, and deprived everyone of necessary life food. The next morning, Eric woke up and discovered what had happened. He assembled his troops with banhammers and led them to battle. After a week of fighting, Okiver was severely injured, and order was restored.
-- In December 2014, Badspot found the the bolded section to be total stuff and banned the individuals responsible.
--On January 20, 2014, Badspot attempted murder-Self Delete against his spouse of 6 years, Ephialtes. At exactly 1:14 PM EST, Badspot arrived home after conducting a concert of 10 year olds singing We Are The World and laid down on the couch next to Ephialtes, who was watching The X Factor at the time. After some flirtatious jokes, Badspot immediately started to ride Ephialtes like a cowgirl. When they were finished 10 minutes later, Badspot got drunk on a mix of brandy, vodka, and red cherry wine. He went into a rage, and shot Ephialtes in the brown town passage. He tried shooting himself after that, but missed the head and instead hit the Achilles' Heel. A neighbor, now identified as Vito Billyson V, heard the shots and called the police, who arrived 3 minutes later. Badspot and Ephialtes were both rushed to a hospital, and Badspot made a full recovery, however, Ephialtes was declared dead on arrival.
