Messages

931

Off Topic / Re: need serious help and advice regarding a toxic household

« on: December 12, 2019, 12:46:10 PM »

he came home and isn't mad anymore but im still really loving nervous. @anyone who has me on discord, dont expect a response after 9pm and before, like 8am

932

Off Topic / Re: need serious help and advice regarding a toxic household

« on: December 12, 2019, 10:37:27 AM »

posting this from my phone in the bathroom
today's about to suck ASS i can already tell. woke up at 10:30 to dad yelling at me because he thinks im staying up (i am, but only until 12 becayse that's when I start to feel tired. I get about 9 hours of sleep this way) and calling me a liar and all that. went to do my school stuff. i have 4 classes, and ive done all i can do in 3. when you finish a module in a class you have to schedule a meeting on the phone with the teacher so they can ask questions and give you the password to the exam. It's called a dba.
dad checks on me to ask me to dust my room afterwards (he's alot calmer now) and i tell him im done  (did the work for the one class I could) and i just need to schedule dbas for the other classes. He gets really mad, trying to accuse me of lying again becayse 3 were done at the same time and he was mad becayse I hadn't done this yesterday (even though you cant. You can't schedule a dba unless everything in that module is complete.) so I go to get my phone to call teachers and accidentally leave the door open. He gets super mad about that and yells at me some more because the dog got into the room. Afterwards, i come back with my phone and attempt to call teachers but turns out im out of minutes. I did not want to ask dad because knowing him he would probably beat me so I emailed the teachers instead. Ill ask him tomorrow.
didn't get a chance to record this time. all the while my grandma was resting on the couch just watching, probably because she didn't know what to do.
important to note while he was yelling at me he brung up the last time he blew up for something insignificant. He's now bringing up his past outbursts trying to scare me. Cool.
god help me

933

Off Topic / Re: need serious help and advice regarding a toxic household

« on: December 11, 2019, 12:42:17 PM »

had a good sleep, gonna update now that i dont have to type on the god damn 3ds lol

yesterday when my dad was gone i talked with my grandma about this.
my first question was 'do you think dad is abusive', response was no. i told her that the way he parents and disciplines is, by definition, verbal abuse, and a form of manipulation. didn't ask her again afterwards because i forgot to.
she then told me that she overheard him calling the centers, the local mental institute place thing that diagnosed me with asd, asking for my diagnosis. she thinks that this is because he wants to try understanding my problems but i honestly don't think so, it's really making me nervous.
she is certain that he's trying to improve himself.

thoughts?

regarding this
i told my friend who is basically filling the role of counselor (since god knows when i'll be able to see a real one) and she gave me some pretty good input on it

i really don't know what to think of anything anymore. for starters i've been really loving afraid this past week, since he's been more... aggressive lately. i'd lock my door to protect myself but he knows how to pick the lock or something. i WANT to believe he's trying to get better, but i haven't seen the anger management drugs my grandma claims he's been taking anywhere, not even in the meds cabinet, and if anything he's getting worse. i don't know if this is because of my grandma being in a rough spot, but if it is then him taking it out on his son is a pretty loving horrible thing to do.
just today he got on me because i have a bandage on my index finger (the fingernail is mangled and i dont want anyone seeing it) and because i left a door open.

934

Off Topic / Re: need serious help and advice regarding a toxic household

« on: December 11, 2019, 12:34:00 PM »

im worried today

935

Drama / Re: tell funny stories about stuffty servers

« on: December 11, 2019, 10:46:24 AM »

remember the fnaf pixel art

936

Off Topic / Re: need serious help and advice regarding a toxic household

« on: December 10, 2019, 01:25:51 PM »

forget cops btw. im glad my sick grandma's tax dollars are being used to keep me in an abusive, toxic household under threat of arrest /sarcasm

937

Off Topic / Re: need serious help and advice regarding a toxic household

« on: December 10, 2019, 01:23:41 PM »

how old are you? will you be legally an adult soon?

i'm 16. i turn 18 in 2021.

this is a tough call and obviously going as far as getting cps involved and potentially getting your parents to lose custody of you is extreme. definitely a last resort thing. do it if you feel theres no way out except Self Delete.

i do Not want to get cps involved. i've already gotten the police involved and all it's done was make things worse and enable him because cops are absolutely atrocious when it comes to dealing with situations like this. and no im not gonna kill myself.

for the meantime collecting evidence/recordings as damp did will give you something to do/help you get a grasp on the situation. even a written diary can work for things that arent recorded - how much you sleep and how often for example.

probably gonna use this thread as a diary of sort so y'all can give input on it and tell me what to do. i get about 9 hours of sleep a day

938

Off Topic / Re: need serious help and advice regarding a toxic household

« on: December 10, 2019, 12:39:33 PM »

i'll elaborate more when i get the chance. i try not to bring up suicidal thoughts in things because talking about it always makes me feel like an attention whore

939

Off Topic / Re: need serious help and advice regarding a toxic household

« on: December 10, 2019, 12:20:03 PM »

she knows the stuff he's done lol; she's seen it all herself. she just doesn't understand the magnitude of the situation

940

Off Topic / Re: need serious help and advice regarding a toxic household

« on: December 10, 2019, 09:53:23 AM »

had a good sleep, gonna update now that i dont have to type on the god damn 3ds lol

yesterday when my dad was gone i talked with my grandma about this.
my first question was 'do you think dad is abusive', response was no. i told her that the way he parents and disciplines is, by definition, verbal abuse, and a form of manipulation. didn't ask her again afterwards because i forgot to.
she then told me that she overheard him calling the centers, the local mental institute place thing that diagnosed me with asd, asking for my diagnosis. she thinks that this is because he wants to try understanding my problems but i honestly don't think so, it's really making me nervous.
she is certain that he's trying to improve himself.

thoughts?

941

Off Topic / Re: what's your worst injury (2019 edition)

« on: December 09, 2019, 11:13:00 PM »

one time i stubbed my toe so hard the nail basically shattered. the forgeted up nail had to be removed so a new one could grow [didnt hurt thank god]

942

Off Topic / Re: need serious help and advice regarding a toxic household

« on: December 09, 2019, 11:07:04 PM »

what up forum im posting this from my 3ds. my dad thinks im staying up past midnight [even though im homeschooled so i have literally no reason to wake up early haha] so now my phone has to be put up at 10. hopefully he forgets about this soon because holy god damn this sucks!

talk with me whenever you feel like, it’d absolutely be my pleasure. wish I could be of more help input-wise, but I’m always happy to help out a friend

ill keep in touch. you seem like a cool dude

where do you live at if you don't mind me asking

florida

943

Off Topic / Re: need serious help and advice regarding a toxic household

« on: December 09, 2019, 07:39:53 PM »

a best case scenario would have your father having to see a therapist, possibly a group therapy
session, and have your issues resolved and become a coherent family

that's what I want most, honestly. talked with my grandma and she said that she overheard him asking the doctors who diagnosed me all those years ago if they can explain my mental issues, and she's pretty sure he's looking into getting help

i really hope this is true

944

Off Topic / Re: What is the meme of the decade

« on: December 09, 2019, 06:12:36 PM »

big chungs

945

Off Topic / Re: need serious help and advice regarding a toxic household

« on: December 09, 2019, 05:30:32 PM »

sorry i didn't make it clear enough do not sell drugs or participate in any illict behavior.

haha yeah dont worry im never going anywhere near anything illegal. not even gonna touch a single weed, drugs scare me

remember to also go out as much as you can and experience the world. a lot of things my parents should've taught me but didn't ended up being substituted by other people's wisdom. if you want to gain any sort of independence you gotta learn how to interact and deal with society. you gotta find your spark out. i wouldn't recommend it to anyone in the slightest bit, but selling drugs taught me quite a lot about interactions and how to deal and cope with outer and inner pressures.

once i get a car and i start getting some money through commissions and maybe a job at like publix or something im hoping i'll have an ounce of independence at that point. it seems like alot of fun, finally being able to be free without the paranoia of hypothetically doing something wrong and losing everything, if even for a few hours at a time. only a year ago, the thought of living independently seemed so daunting; now i can't wait, man. its exciting.
that's why i love this forum to bits. it taught me how to not be an obnoxious 'tard. fun fact, before the sebi drama (when sebi leaked my kink to the forum and i had a breakdown), i was extremely immature irl. in school i would make stupid noises and references in vain of being funny; nobody found it funny and i was basically class clown, with people daring other people to interact with me (every time this happened i would just respond with a quick 'dur' because i didn't know how to react). by the time i grew out of it people still thought i was the funny autist who would squirm around for no reason and would continue daring girls to touch me. i started avoiding interacting with people because of this.
it's also because of this i got loveually assaulted. at prom, a woman was dared to give me a lapdance, and she did; she sat down on my lap for a full minute. most uncomfortable loving day of my life. i was 13 at the time.
thanks to the forum i grew out of my 'crass and random = funny' days, even if it was rocky. like, seriously. thank you for helping me develop into a better person, even if the means y'all did so were pretty damn mean.

my parents don't know i was loveually assaulted. if they did, they would probably shrug it off.

i was similarly at the same crossroads as you buddy. I would record my mom discreetly to gather evidence. she stopped immediately when she found out I was recording. when she tried to delete and converse my recordings I would just record her doing that.

after awhile she realized the stuff she was doing would immediately send her to court and stopped altogether. compiling evidence is key, even if you don't chose to use it now it can prove to be valuable later on in life.

check your dms later i'll describe the stuff i recorded in better detail. i'd rather not post a description here because it's... very bad.
i don't know if i could use these recordings as evidence since it was directed at my other family members, not me, but eh its better than nothing. rewatching these videos make me feel super loving anxious

thanks for the advice damp