I suck at anything that is not launching stuff straight up and watching it either fall down, or endlessly fly away.
1) Accelerate upwards
2) Stop accelerating and get to an apoapsis of 70km+ (hit 0m/s)
3) Rotate 90* to Kerbin
4) Turn on engine and open orbital view
5) Watch the trajectory get more circular (4 + 5 can be cut out by looking on the wiki and checking for the orbital velocities)
6) Turn engine off
7) Orbit
That's all there is to it really. Then you can transfer to the moon and stuff from orbit.
If you're really bad and even that, get MechJeb and then all you need to worry about is building a suitable rocket.
Why is this so expensive, It's like a toy not a game :(
It's a game in more or less Alpha, currently version 0.16. V0.17 is set to bring out better physics, a ton more planets and a load of other stuff. Anyway, a game can be a toy :)
Besides, it's not that expensive, and it's probably the best game of its kind available. Oh, and it has mod support.