5776
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5777
Off Topic / Re: Need to know if this is a decent opening for my story
« on: September 16, 2011, 06:45:35 PM »Old man and little boy see eachother everyday?
*wink*
Cannot unsee D:
you probably could but I suggest you read some books first
I read plenty of books :U
Short stories have to be decently long if you start them off like you did.
If you want a few pages MAX, then give us his name already and start us out in the middle of something. Purely develop character.
K
5778
Off Topic / Re: THIS THREAD IS YOUR 1ST GRADE CLASS
« on: September 16, 2011, 06:44:15 PM »I guess it must have been HellHound who I through the chair at.
But he wasn't even alive in when I was in first grade.
*Puzzling*
It's hax, I say.
ADWAWSFJPAKFHLAWHBKLAHBKAS
lolwat
5779
Off Topic / Re: My Little Pony: Friendship for Blockheads: General V2
« on: September 16, 2011, 06:42:57 PM »5780
Off Topic / Re: Post your thoughts of the above user's signature.
« on: September 16, 2011, 06:42:12 PM »
BOOBS
5781
Off Topic / Re: Need to know if this is a decent opening for my story
« on: September 16, 2011, 06:41:10 PM »who is his family, where does he live, does he like cheese? does he get mail when it rains?
tbh I'd suggest you read a few books instead of listening to us desperately trying to guide you :v
Im not
I just want to see whether I can write a decent short story, and request some feedback from these forums :l
5782
Off Topic / Re: My Little Pony: Friendship for Blockheads: General V2
« on: September 16, 2011, 06:40:28 PM »Then you are not sacred enough and must be sacrificed by the demandings of the high-lord Aludane.
Ok.
All bow down before the great Level 2 Blood Elf, Aludane!
5783
Off Topic / Re: Post your thoughts of the above user's signature.
« on: September 16, 2011, 06:39:25 PM »
SHINY
5784
Off Topic / Re: My Little Pony: Friendship for Blockheads: General V2
« on: September 16, 2011, 06:39:04 PM »yay i got windows ponies.
twilight, luna, and pinkamena are all i need to have fun on this awesome day.
:D
Keyword = "Fun"
5785
Off Topic / Re: Need to know if this is a decent opening for my story
« on: September 16, 2011, 06:38:19 PM »how about "the wall" instead of "the inside of his wall"
also I think it's starting too fast, it's like I've already read the whole first chapter after the first paragraph
unless you're making a three page book or something :U
Uuuuuuuuuuuu
Must add moar details and such?
5786
Off Topic / Re: My Little Pony: Friendship for Blockheads: General V2
« on: September 16, 2011, 06:37:31 PM »5787
Off Topic / Re: My Little Pony: Friendship for Blockheads: General V2
« on: September 16, 2011, 06:36:20 PM »WE WE WE WE SO EXICITED!!!!!!!!!!
OGM W3 GTE N00 PONYZ 2 FAP 2 TOMORO!!1
5788
Off Topic / Re: Need to know if this is a decent opening for my story
« on: September 16, 2011, 06:34:21 PM »
Bump for updated OP.
5789
Off Topic / Re: Need to know if this is a decent opening for my story
« on: September 16, 2011, 06:24:13 PM »Keyword: Molten.
Solid lava is just rock.
Kthx
5790
Off Topic / Re: Need to know if this is a decent opening for my story
« on: September 16, 2011, 06:18:32 PM »It's very...bland. No offence of course, it isn't bad, per se, but it needs some work. You have to eliminate things you don't need. When you write, everything should have some meaning, and empty sentences should only be thrown in to point out the obvious or string together an idea. You use a number of words that aren't really needed and describe things very shallowly. These are just a few points, but they all improve as you write and read more.
Also, am I the only one who thought of minecraft when reading this? :U
...I just played minecraft :P
Also, considering the spider is molten lava, is it like a puddle or something, and how does one, being in a liquid state, grab hold of something?
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
I thought molten lava is solid
TO THE INTERNET
it barely told me anything :v
Meeeeeeehhhhhhhh
Mussst worrrrkool kids klub