Messages

3751

Games / Re: The Elder Scrolls Megathread - Skyrim wins Game of the Year! 10 million+ sold!

« on: December 24, 2011, 07:50:17 AM »

>FUS RO DAH in Dragonsreach
>Knocks over candlesticks
>Candlesticks set palace on fire
>Fire burns down palace, spreads to city
>City burns to the ground
>Important trading hub for Skyrim is wiped off the map
>Economy in Skyrim plummets
>Dark age
>Dragonborn gets sent to prison for life for arson
>In prison, Dragonborn cannot stop Alduin
>Alduin goes on rampage
>Destroys world
>Way to go, Dovahkiin

3752

Off Topic / Re: Santa Claus is a rich, rich man. (Holiday rant from Man 2)

« on: December 23, 2011, 11:47:58 PM »

Santa must be able to pay confidential informants with his vast sea of profits to snoop around and see which kids get gifts from their parents and which kids need gifts from Santa, so he can set the production quota for each year.

I know what's in Santa's sack, everyone: corruption.

3753

Off Topic / Re: Santa Claus is a rich, rich man. (Holiday rant from Man 2)

« on: December 23, 2011, 11:37:55 PM »

What types of bullets kill santas? Silver or iron?

Gingerbread.

3754

Off Topic / Santa Claus is a rich, rich man. (Holiday rant from Man 2)

« on: December 23, 2011, 11:30:55 PM »

Santa is rich.
Like, really rich.
He gets paid to be in every mall in America at one time, which normally would fund toy production for the next holiday season. However, more and more parents are buying gifts for their children instead of letting Santa do so, which makes his profits soar. Parents likely must pay Santa to tell their children he exists and that he's the one giving them their gifts. With less children in need of Santa's toys, production quotas shrink. A lower production quota means a stronger workforce isn't needed, so Santa must lay off elves. This saves him even more money. The amount of toys produced during the year dictates how large his toy sack is, obviously. Less toys rolling off the assembly lines means a lighter sack for Santa's sleigh, saving him money because his sleigh's gas mileage goes up. A lighter sleigh means less reindeer are needed to pull it, so he lays off reindeer. Less reindeer means less feed to buy, which means he saves even more money.
Then there's the ultimate source of the North Pole's tourist revenue: the Polar Express. The North Pole must have a lot of stores for the passengers of the Express, generating profits both for the companies with locations up there(they arrange secret business partnerships with Santa) and for Santa himself.
It all adds up: Santa's loaded.

3755

Games / Re: The Elder Scrolls Megathread - Skyrim wins Game of the Year! 10 million+ sold!

« on: December 23, 2011, 07:07:15 PM »

but you are using a controller aren't you?
You should be able to match his pace by only partially pushing the joystick

Yes, but it's difficult to sustain a constant speed with a thumbstick unless it's pushed all the way forward or back, or just pushed forward a little, as with sneaking. Barbas barely runs a quarter-mile an hour slower than you; to have to adjust the pressure you keep on the thumbstick to match Barbas' speed would be a difficult consistency to maintain.

3756

Games / Re: The Elder Scrolls Megathread - Skyrim wins Game of the Year! 10 million+ sold!

« on: December 23, 2011, 06:33:14 PM »

I'm going to find a suit of armor that sells for more than it costs to make...
Dammit Barbas, if I'm going to follow you halfway across the province I'm going to want you to move just as fast as me, not just a tad slower. I don't appreciate having to stop every ten feet just so I don't get ahead of you.

3757

Games / Re: The Elder Scrolls Megathread - Skyrim wins Game of the Year! 10 million+ sold!

« on: December 23, 2011, 02:21:12 PM »

I have no use for money; with 25000 gold already and enough skill in smithing to make whatever weapons and armor I need, two houses, and potions from my fallen enemies, I'm set for life.

3758

Games / Re: The Elder Scrolls Megathread - Skyrim wins Game of the Year! 10 million+ sold!

« on: December 23, 2011, 02:01:06 PM »

I was walking to a cave with Clavicus Vile's dog Barbas as part of his daedric quest, when I came across an NPC walking the road. He was called simply "Redguard" and was wearing the most absolutely ridiculous-looking ensemble I had ever come across in the game: Ebony gauntlets, Banded Iron armor, Dwarven helmet, Steel Plate boots, Orcish shield, and Iron War Axe. He said I should go home to my mother. Having of course no mother in-game being the player character, I reprimanded this demagogue for his foolish insults.
"I don't have to take that from you!" he yelled as he began combat.
I bashed him with my shield, disarming the man. Barbas ran up and began to attack him, and I felled him rapidly with my sword.

3759

Games / Re: ROBLOX Just broke the fourth wall.

« on: December 23, 2011, 10:20:13 AM »

[img ]http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSFykKjtUvBytgGt3s_kSeuj 7LOOjYHKZhHSZ7decH1twiI5xxU[/img]

There seems to be no joke here, merely a misuse of a term.

3760

Games / Re: The Elder Scrolls Megathread - Skyrim wins Game of the Year! 10 million+ sold!

« on: December 23, 2011, 09:57:49 AM »

I have all the Divine amulets save that of Stendarr and that of Kynareth. I can probably raid the Vigilant of Stendarr headquarters for one of his amulets. I'm feeling a werewolf transformation would serve this purpose admirably.

3761

Off Topic / Re: Christianity for kids? (THIS SITE IS NOT SERIOUS}

« on: December 23, 2011, 09:32:01 AM »

Thank goodness this is fake.

3762

Games / Re: ROBLOX Just broke the fourth wall.

« on: December 23, 2011, 07:14:14 AM »

Breaking the fourth wall is when the characters in a work of fiction make nods to the fact that they're in works of fiction. They do it all the time in Animaniacs, complaining about the episode's screenplay and animators, and making references to the audience.
It can also mean looking directly at the camera in a movie or audience in a play, which in theater is taboo, like saying the name of "That Scottish Play" in a theater.

3763

Off Topic / Re: On the __ day of Christmas... [NO MORE stuffTY RULES :D]

« on: December 23, 2011, 06:31:40 AM »

On the 2000th day of Christmas this forum gave to me...
The right to boast that I got the 2000th day of Christmas.

On the 2001st day of Christmas this forum gave to me...
Crushing shame at the notion that there are no rules; thus the above was not in fact the 2000th day of Christmas.

3764

Off Topic / Trion Worlds(Developer/Publisher of RIFT) hacked? What is this?

« on: December 23, 2011, 06:30:04 AM »

Three hours ago, while I was fast asleep in my bed, an e-mail was sent to me from a source from whom I had not heard in a long time: Trion Worlds. Now I tried RIFT a while ago, just to see for myself whether or not it really was better than World of Warcraft. Ten minutes after creating an account and installing the game, I decided that it sadly did not compare. I uninstalled RIFT from my computer and abandoned any notion of playing the game again... but my account still existed, spared by my neglect to delete it.
Here we are six months or so later, and I receive this e-mail:

Freelance hackers attempting to look like Anonymous, no doubt.
http://www.flesheatingzipper.com/games/2011/12/trion-worlds-rift-mmo-database-hacked-credit-card-information-compromised/
http://www.trionworlds.com/en/games/account-notification
http://www.thesixthaxis.com/2011/12/23/rift-server-hacked-details-accessed/
Discuss.

3765

Off Topic / Re: Whut is this crap?

« on: December 23, 2011, 06:17:48 AM »

Christianity. Bah, humbug!