Show Posts

15061

Gallery / Re: Survivor Base

« on: December 01, 2010, 09:27:19 AM »

i need ammo to protect my vodka! (COD black ops)

15062

AoT General / Re: My Crap Sword

« on: November 30, 2010, 05:23:17 PM »

It all started when our antagonizing protagonist, Plad, woke up in a fanstic pumpkin patch. It was the fifth time it had happened. Feeling alarmingly relieved, Plad grabbed a potato, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Suddenly cheered up by the Hamtaro theme song, he realized that his beloved blockland key was missing! Immediately he called his undeclared soulmate, Blur. Plad had known Blur for (plus or minus) 61 years, the majority of which were electric ones. Blur was unique. He was outgoing though sometimes a little... stupid. Plad called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Blur picked up to a very sad Plad. Blur calmly assured him that most venomous koalas grimace before mating, yet legless puppies usually charismatically shudder *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Plad. Why was Blur trying to distract Plad? Because he had snuck out from Plad's with the blockland key only three days prior. It was a enticing little blockland key... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Plad got back to the subject at hand: his blockland key. Blur sneezed. Relunctantly, Blur invited him over, assuring him they'd find the blockland key. Plad grabbed his elephant and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Blur realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the blockland key and he had to do it aggressively. He figured that if Plad took the tricycle, he had take at least six minutes before Plad would get there. But if he took the Roadster? Then Blur would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Blur was interrupted by nine clueless Care Bears that were lured by his blockland key. Blur yawned; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling displeased, he carefully reached for his ninja star and aptly hit every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the disease-infested jungle, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Roadster rolling up. It was Plad.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Seven-Eleven to pick up a 12-pack of ninja stars, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Plad was out of the Roadster and went sassily jaunting toward Blur's front door. Meanwhile inside, Blur was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the blockland key into a box of gerbils and then slid the box behind his giraffe. Blur was pleased but at least the blockland key was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Blur charismatically purred. With a mighty push, Plad opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some funny-smelling coke fiend in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Blur assured him. Plad took a seat exotically proximate to where Blur had hidden the blockland key. Blur shuddered trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Plad was distracted. A few freaknasty minutes later, Blur noticed a pestering look on Plad's face. Plad slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

Blur felt a stabbing pain in his p-spot when Plad asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the blockland key right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Plad's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's ripened avocados from when she used to have pet venomous koalas. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Plad nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Blur could react, Plad deftly lunged toward the box and opened it. The blockland key was plainly in view.

Plad stared at Blur for what what must've been six minutes. Suddenly cheered up by the Hamtaro theme song, Blur groped earnestly in Plad's direction, clearly desperate. Plad grabbed the blockland key and bolted for the door. It was locked. Blur let out a enticing chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Plad,' he rebuked. Blur always had been a little clueless, so Plad knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Blur did something crazy, like... start chucking wolverines at him or something. Suddenly inspired by the wise teachings of Confuscious, he gripped his blockland key tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

Blur looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Plad. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame two days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Plad. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Blur walked over to the window and looked down. Plad was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Plad was struggling to make his way through the lemur-infested moor behind Blur's place. Plad had severely hurt his double chin during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Care Bears suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the blockland key. One by one they latched on to Plad. Already weakened from his injury, Plad yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Care Bears running off with his blockland key.

But then God came down with His clever smile and restored Plad's blockland key. Feeling pleased, God smote the Care Bears for their injustice. Then He got in His entrepreneur fresh, candy-painted 'Lac and sped away with the fortitude of 61 legless puppies running from a enormous pack of South American hissing sloths. Plad ran with joy when he saw this. His blockland key was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in four minutes his favorite TV show, Lizzie McGuire, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet contraceptive'). Plad was overjoyed. And so, everyone except Blur and a few contraceptive-toting man-eating capybaras lived blissfully happy, forever after.
and then they found a bottle of wine drank it and somone shoved a lit match down there throghts at night and they exploded into flames and died the end

15063