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« on: May 10, 2011, 09:20:12 AM »
Name: Luigi Bianco
Status: Well, for now.
Inventory: Wallet (Complete with passport, license, money, and a creditcard.), Cigarettes, Glock, and a Moon Pie.
Karma: 0
Location: Goodyear, in front of a seemingly burning Coffee shop called Jitters.
Cash: $400
Gained: Nothing for now.
Lost: $50. To pay for the motel room.
Clothes: Business Attire
As I got closer to the entrance, I noticed, yes. It was a fire. I got closer, and I saw something I thought I would never see; Gianni with a flamethrower in the middle of a local coffee shop chain. When I got inside, there he was, torching some seats. "Oh, hey Luigi!" He said. Then I said "Gianni, what the hell is going on?" Then he told me how the clerk wouldn't give him a triple-chocolate-mocha, complete with wafer, truffle, and whipped cream. "That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard." After I said that, he went on about how he will always weigh less than me so it doesn't matter how much he eats, and he always, always has a truffle in his triple-chocolate mocha.
But that didn't matter. I heard sirens. "We'd better get out of here." I said. Then he said "No, I'm too fat to run." Just come on, we can take my Ford. I knew him. He loved Fords. So anyways, then we ran to the car and drove off, but it was bad, they were right on our tale. I handed him my Glock. "Here, shoot." I ate my moon pie and we were off. He was shooting a lot, but missing a lot. It didn't look good, until he shot the antenna. They couldn't call for more reinforcements now. Take that, CB Radio. So it was just us, and these two cops. So now I was a target again. Great, the whole reason I came here ruined. Thanks, Gianni. Thanks.
At one point, I swerved into a dirt road. And to get the idea of police out of my head, I turned on music. The song was "String Bean - Hillbilly Music Goin' Round". A red and white Ford Fairlane, cruising through the countryside while listening to hill-folk music. Nice.
We had lost them, and it was about noon now. We stopped at a Truck Stop. This is a part that went real well. We got into the trucker line. It was faster. And the waiter there saw our faces and noticed a little Wanted! sign he had behind the counter. He got out a magnum, and he shot me in the knee. Gianni used the last few bullets of my Glock to get rid of him, and we escaped. "Don't worry about your gun, I'll get you some Molotov's and grenades soon enough." Gianni said. I said "Gianni, I came here to get out of the craziness of a crime-filled life." Then he said "I know, isn't this great?" There was silence the rest of the way, which was really awkward.
When we got back, Gianni brought me to a guy that sells weapons. From him, I could get anything from a little handgun to a nuke that could blow up a continent. His name was Joe Moretti.
When we got there, and he said I was a friend of his, he got me a MP5K on the house. Then, I bought a Magnum, and a hunting Shotgun. I also became good friends with Joe after it turns out he too was from Sicily. He was older adult; about 52. He wore suspenders and glasses and he had shiny white hair that would make you think he's much older. "Here, take these." He gave us clothes so that hopefully people wouldn't tell who we were. I still think it was a pretty bad idea.
When we got to a diner, Gianni was eating. A lot. He was stuffing down milkshakes and burgers like a goat. Or a pig. Or a cow. He'd probably eat aluminum if I put it in front of him. It was like Eating2. After today, he weighed a good one-hundred-and-seventy pounds. He gained 27.2 pounds. Finally, I weighed less than him. >:D
Finally I got back to room 23 at the Super 6. I fell asleep watching Ren and Stimpy.
Tune in next time for another amazing adventure through Luigi Bianco's Life!
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