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Messages - NanoCap66

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Off Topic / Re: Forumers that are newsworthy
« on: January 25, 2023, 12:14:02 PM »
Surprisingly have a large name on YouTube. Never thought Iíd have a ďfanbaseĒ but eventually, after many years, accumulated some sort of following. I post my combat footage and make videos about my experiences in war. A couple interviews here and there. I suppose itís getting easier to brand yourself nowadays if you practice editing and understand the algorithm

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Off Topic / Re: Adjusting to a new life
« on: June 26, 2022, 10:39:35 PM »
How are your old marine buddies doing? Have anybody from there you're still on good terms with? They're probably some of the best people to help you out.
I sadly haven't deployed so my experience with combat PTSD is non-existant and I feel sorry I can't help you out more. But I know you'll pull through.

I do, one of the guys I am going back home with was in my Marine unit years ago with me. I wouldnít say I have PTSD, just a hard time adjusting obviously. I appreciate it though, just not easy. Always gonna look back at the news and think why am I back home, gonna start seeing more friends pop up as kia, itís not easy for any of us. Only reason I left is because of pneumonia and it was effecting me in the field.

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Off Topic / Re: Adjusting to a new life
« on: June 26, 2022, 07:54:56 PM »
for someone who is deeply traumatized by the military, it can be easier to simply continue what they are used to. military provides rigid schedules and structure to daily life. you do what you're told. it is similar to how people have trouble adjusting to normal life after getting out of prison.
instead of worrying about taxes and rent and all the problems of civilian life, you need only think of what manual labor you are assigned to, where to stand, where to aim your gun. years of having someone else make decisions for you conditions one to have difficulty making their own decisions.


THIS, it is much easier to be told to wake up at 5am than forcing yourself to on a weekend. Seems we all understand that, military or not. So yeah Iím gonna need some discipline as well. Living in a van sort of became a situation where I wake up at 2pm and play warzone and drink beer till 4am. I was barely even trying to help my situation. Tried dating, tried working out more or whatever in the midday, but physical and mental health is a lifestyle not just the hour you put into the gym or whatever I guess.

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Off Topic / Re: Adjusting to a new life
« on: June 26, 2022, 07:49:38 PM »
i'd like to offer advice or empathize with your situation, but I don't understand what would motivate someone to become what is basically a war tourist?

could you shed some light onto what motivated you to fight in these foreign conflicts? from what I gather, it wasn't ideological because you seem to have fought on multiple incongruent sides of conflicts so I can't seem to pin down what caused you to take up arms. I could be wrong though, feel free to correct me

Oh for sure I get that. Began with patriotism so I joined the Marineís, then I went to Syria because I wasnít deployed in. I went there purely for ego and war tourism. I got back and had a lot of time to myself,thinking about what Iíve done in life and my motivations, so I came back and lived in a cave in Shengal for a year as a lowly guerrilla. Didnít post on social media, didnít do it for pride, felt like the best therapy ever. Really did it for the cause this time, went there to help the Kurds that gave us the chance to come and be a part of their anti-imperialism cause. Then ukraine happened and that was motivated on by anti imperialism. Somehow I found a connection between a semi communist militia in Iraq and Syria, and Ukraineís situation. Not sure if this explains it, even writing it out feels exactly what it looks like, like Iím trying to get attention, but honestly thatís why Iím on these forums asking this and not on Instagram asking for ďadviceĒ.

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Off Topic / Re: Adjusting to a new life
« on: June 26, 2022, 07:42:01 PM »
i think you'll have trouble finding legitimate advice for your situation cause i dont think any military members of the blockland community are still active on the forums

your case seems kind of extreme and tbh it seems like you'd do best talking with a therapist, but i get that can be difficult. maybe remote therapy sessions can let you continue to search for purpose while working to overcome your internal blocks. civilian life doesnt really value the skills you gain from the military so you will have to either stay in military relevant fields or develop new skills/spin specific skills you developed in the military in a way that lets you get a decent job.

Good advice, I think lots of times itís hard to even start looking at the hard decisions life throws at me. Easier to just go down the status quo, so Iíll try therapy first of all. Iíve got it easier than a lot of guys in my latest unit, so I know it can be done.

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Off Topic / Re: Adjusting to a new life
« on: June 26, 2022, 01:26:39 PM »
no one there calls it sulaymaniyah though so youíre not

What the hell are you even saying, different dialects. SlemanÓ, now leave some space for people to give me actual advice.

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Off Topic / Adjusting to a new life
« on: June 26, 2022, 02:45:23 AM »
Iíve lurked the forums off and on for like 15 years. Used to be to keep up with  the community when it was kicking, but now Iím here to see people I grew up playing with moving on in life. So Iíd like some advice from you guys, really anything helps.

My adult life has been strange. Did the Marine Corps, got out and tried college with the GI bill, failed massively then tried retail. Did that, got bored and never really felt like I could adjust back to civilian life so I went and joined a Kurdish revolutionary group in Syria. Came back home, lived in a van because I remember hating having a normal life. After a year of that I got tired of the lack of purpose and went to Iraq in 2021 with a similar revolutionary group for a year. A couple months ago I was at the airport city in Sulaymaniyah ready to go home and retire from the whole soldier thing, and as I waited to go back home, fully thinking I was going to get back in the van and do something with my life, the war in Ukraine happened and the president literally begged for foreign fighters.. so here I am almost 4 months in Ukraine  and on the bus back to Poland, and then back home.

The question: how the forget do I adjust back in the states? What has helped you get back on track in situations where you feel isolated, different, and unprepared for a drastic change in your life? I desperately want to move on from this lifestyle, but when youíre down in your own sorrow, feeling alone and unwanted you resort back to what brings you purpose. Is there a purpose back home for me? I donít want to relapse. Thanks to anyone who responds

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Havenít logged in for a while, but my first bliss was 10424 if I remember correctly, whatever year that was

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Drama / Re: STOP
« on: August 14, 2011, 09:08:54 PM »
I hate cyber bullying... Religous persecution, if i kill somone in a tdm, I am hated by them, random things I don't quite get, etc.

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Drama / Re: Jonathon121 is B401
« on: May 14, 2011, 10:51:02 AM »
hm?

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Drama / Re: Jonathon121 is B401
« on: May 14, 2011, 10:46:23 AM »
I dont have a website. I'm american not a new zealand person.

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Drama / Re: Jonathon121 is B401
« on: May 14, 2011, 10:42:20 AM »
I am well aware this is my thrid topic in a row.... Seventh, dont you think posting a new topic, and putting on your profile a link to my profile saying this person is a forgeter is a little over board?


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Drama / Re: Jonathon121 is B401
« on: May 14, 2011, 10:32:09 AM »
Whats going on here??? First of all, my name is not Jonathan. I dont even know what a cadet camp is. What is up with you knowing my email? please explain. My sister went on my account and named her self LcyGamma, obviously that has brought many complaints.
I play Annoying Orangeet in cadet BAND, not cadet camp, and im first chair not fifth.

Why do people hate me? Tell me truth, not some phrase filled with meaningless cuss words.

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Drama / Re: Jonathon121 is B401
« on: May 14, 2011, 10:26:10 AM »
Whats going on here??? First of all, my name is not Jonathan. I dont even know what a cadet camp is. What is up with you knowing my email? please explain. My sister went on my account and named her self LcyGamma, obviously that has brought many complaints.
I play Annoying Orangeet in cadet BAND, not cadet camp, and im first chair not fifth.

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Off Topic / Re: Anyone wanna give me money?
« on: April 25, 2011, 08:31:47 PM »
I have good idea, when I walked into subway, I saw someone fill out a application so maybe you can work at a fast food place like that. Maybe sign up for long hours so you dont have to stay out in places unknown for a long time.

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