-snip-
Why not stop talking about eating your own (or probably somebody else's) jizz and tell the poor guy how to sleep. I know he is wide awake now cause its later, but this is likely to happen again if he is sick.
Or you can ignore, flame, and troll me and continue on your previous conversation.

@OP
Find something interesting, and try as hard as you can to stay awake just so you can perform that activity.
Listen to relaxing music.
Stare at your hands in bed, or the wall/door.
Wank. I'm serious here; it puts you in a minute or two of euphoria and might be one of your best bets for falling asleep.
Think. Finding an interesting subject and pondering about it can probably help ease your mind. Or meditate. Not sure how to do that or if there's a difference.
Not an insomniac, but those are the only things I can think of that can help you sleep.
If all else fails, whack yourself in the face with a cast-iron frying pan.
It's proven to work.