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Off Topic / Re: Zealot's Game Giveaway - NEW GAMES: PARANORMAL, REALMS OF ARKANIA, MORE

« on: March 16, 2014, 04:56:59 PM »

Blockland alt

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Few years ago, I had a crush on this girl. I was easily 9 or 10,but at the time I was beta as forget. I ended up talking to her finally, turns out she wasn't a bitch to beta-me. We start talking everyday, she's cool as stuff. We played Pokemon all the time together. Eventually she moved away. We still talked over the internet.3 months later she was diagnosed with leukemia. One day we traded pokemon, it was her prized typhlosion. "Why did you give me that? It's your favorite." "Because I think it will like you more." After a few weeks she becomes worse. She passed a few weeks after. I mourned for a whole month. I finally turn my game back on, I take the typhlosion and there's a note. "I love you."

if that doesnt do it then

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My family always wants to tell the story about the loving ice cream. Always the loving ice cream. Every single girlfriend has to find out.
Edit: So here is the story I lovingly call; "The Ice Cream Bitch Slap"
Anyone who knows me knows that I come from the middle east. So I will often go there to visit my family and friends. This has been going on since a young age, it can get really boring in the middle east so my parents would consistently put me in these camps where I would play soccer and stuff.
I hopped from camp to camp usually doing something really dumb to stop them from letting me go to camp there. I have a whole bunch of stories if anyone cares. One year when I was about 7 and at camp. It was a particularly hot day, I was without money and about to die of thirst or starvation, I was laying on the soccer field when some older kids kicked me off so they could play.
I just started wandering aimlessly when I saw the little shop at the edge of the camp, and sure enough there was a loving ice cream machine right out front. With nobody on guard.
So in my dehydrated, delusional state I decided I would have some of that loving ice cream. I walk up to it and I just put my face against it for a few seconds, amazed by the relief.
I looked around and made sure no one was looking and just started to lean against the ice cream machine. Then I "accidentally" hit the lever causing it to spill out thick, creamy vanilla ice cream. Then I walked away.
Over the course of about thirty minutes I would walk by the shop, stop, and lick the mound of ice cream on the grate of the machine. Eventually the ice cream melted into the grate and was gone. But, I was still thristy so I pulled the lever again, this time into my hand.
Sure enough as soon as I was going to pull away from the machine some lady grabs my arm and starts yelling at me! So when she leaned her face towards mine to yell at me some more. I took my ice cream covered hand and basically slapped her across the face. She fell hard right on her ass and I took off running.

^{stolen from reddit}
pm for uncensored clown art if you want but i just realized the guys a dog
damnit r34 why do you only have 1 page of clown and it's all furry crap

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