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« on: April 12, 2010, 08:38:39 PM »
THIS IS A VERY SIMPLE TOPIC.
MAKE FUN OF STUFF.
LIKE IN ENYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICA
Here is a story copied and pasta from it.
Hello everyone, I'm here to unfold the great life I've had through the years of playing RuneScape, and share my ventures with the public. I believe in everything that happens in RuneScape, can happen In Real Life, because RuneScape is educational.
I've learned many things from playing this game. For one, I've learnt the arts of cooking in real life. By watching how it's done here, I quickly imitated and acquired the skills of placing my empty hands right into the fire that I had made in my backyard and magically receiving cooked meat out of thin air. <- I don't have much success with the last part
What confuses me here is - between every meal, I must cover my hands in ice, otherwise I'll be struggling with massive, burning pains, but I don't have to in Runescape, why is this?
I would also like to share that I'm having marvellous troubles carrying 28 raw sharks or any other kind of fish in my backpack. Why!? Am I not strong enough? I have counted the slots in my bag! There are 28! Just like on RuneScape. Must be due to some temporary programming faults. Fix this please, Jagex
realized how it's possible to go without food for days, and most likely only eat if you're fighting, or have been fighting. So, I tried walking up to a random person deep in the dead forrest and just punched them in the chest. What happened after, wasn't very pretty - I got beat up sincerely bad and was not able to retaliate. I struggled with stuffing this giant trout down my throat in one bite, while he was hitting hard on me. All of a sudden, this red fluid or liquid started pouring out of me. This doesn't happen on RuneScape. Does anyone know what it is??
After that, some clan with all members dressed in blue, spamming "stop! police!" were running towards me, I found that unfair and pulled out my Dragon Dagger, which I've painted red since I could not find one in the store. I inserted my dagger into them and swifted it back and forth to perform the special attack. This only evolved into more of this redness I had all over myself. They knocked me down with some black sticks, and I tried pushing the trout down my throat again. Didn't help.
Later I was in this room with one small window and bars. Weird. I tried sitting down, drawing circles around me, but it didn't teleport me. Glitch, maybe? But I was stuck in there for several years. Maybe this was the black hole. Earlier this year, I got a girlfriend called Hotgurl_63. We made one baby together in bed and called him My_Son_58, I love the both of them so much. I met Hotgurl_63 in a city called Varrock.
I also don't get this. I've been looking for a fish store for days now to buy pre-cooked fish that has been stored for hundreds of days. All I find are these shops called "McDonalds" - "Burger King" and "KFC". What is this!? They sell sandwiches I've never seen before, and this "KFC" clan does chicken like a whole new way of life.
The store owners always ask "do you want that as a combo?" I'm like "what the heck? Are you going to dragon claw special hit combo me?" Then the clerks watch me strangely.
Today (17-Jul-2009) I went to the plaza. Saw some guards and such. I remembered how lovely it was to pickpocket the guards on RuneScape. So I thought, why not give it a shot? There were an amazing amount of people surrounding me and the guard, but I knew that they wouldn't give a damn, just like on RuneScape.
I went straight up to the guard and pickpocketed him from the front. The swift 3-second move of using both hands without touching the victim at all. It was a straight failure, he got furious like they would on RuneScape, but what the hell happened next? I was suddenly handcuffed by the guard, and everybody were watching. The man forced me down to the ground. I tried to run, rest, teleport, fight back, but couldn't do anything at all.
Out of nowhere that notorious blue-dressed clan comes up again with their wannabe karils *-bows, spamming "EVERYBODY GET THE $#%^# DOWN!" I fainted at some point. Later I, once again, woke up in this grey room with one small window and bars - home teleport yet again, out of function. Now I wanted to try not eating anything for a long period, which I've learnt from RuneScape, is possible. Saves a lot of money. I started getting weaker, thinner and in the end, I fell to my knees and down to the ground, Like on RuneScape. WHYYY?
Multiple times I've been kicked out from my bank. Once I had been charged with something they called "theft". All i did was go into the bank, open up my account and withdraw a lot of money. I tried to deposit a dragon dagger, whip, a bag of lobsters and a whole shark. They pulled "charges" on me for the dagger and asked me disturbing questions about the whip. Why!?
In the end, i've come to question myself. What am i doing wrong? I can't even cook without it hurting me so much. I can't eat a whole shark in one bite. Well, I'm working on it. Maybe takes practice. Could be a lot of glitches!
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