Edit her hosts file to redirect to meatspin when you turn 18. 
But in all seriousness, I just noticed how good I got it here.
Hope it gets better soon, or she gets arrested.
I chuckled heartily.
That's touching. No joke. That actually got to me. I guess since I'm 17 and while I still have a pretty good relationship with my parents I've naturally strayed away as most teens my age do. When I see pictures of when I was younger its give me that same feeling that it won't happen again. I can relate to the feeling you have.
I'm not exactly sure of the legal procedure involved with divorce. I've always assumed the parents fight in court for custody. I would assume your dad would receive custody though considered your mom has no job and I doubt the judge will release two kids to a parent with no job.
Thanks, Dest. I hope that you're right. :I
On a lighter note, if dad wins our custody, we might get to be happy again, because he's working with a few other people on this machine that burns things without creating harmful gasses. He just needs to find a company that has trash made daily, like a chain of nursing homes, so he can burn their trash and get monies :o