I had to write a fractured fairy tale for English today. A fractured fairy tale is an original fairy tale where the climax/twist in it had been changed but still recognizable. I would happily appreciate if you pointed out my mistakes and changed it into something dirty if possible.
The 3 Little Pigs and the Vegetarian Wolf
“Tell you what,” said the wolf “, you get the guards to stop giving me meat for lunch and I’ll tell you how it all happened.”
“It all started when I was cooking and ran out of sugar. I had a neighbor I was sure would let me borrow a cup. He wasn’t all brains though since he made his house out of straw. I was also in a sneezing fit that day; the judge called it a too convenient coincidence. I am still hoping my calmness and good behavior will get me out of this filthy jail. Anyways, back to the story. When I came up to his house and knocked on the door. No one answered so I called out hoping Mr. Pig would hear me. No answer. I guessed no one was home and about to leave as my nose started getting itchy. I huffed and I snuffed and sneezed so hard to house was blown down. And what do you know Mr. Pig is dead with his nose in the ground. I decided to leave his body be because I’m a vegetarian and go to his brother, maybe he will give me a cup of sugar.
This brother was a little bit smarter because he built his house out of wood. I knocked on the door once again and heard no answer. I called out to Mr. Pig but once again there was no answer. Mr. Pig had a garden and I was allergic to pollen so my nose started to getting itchy. I sneezed and blew his house down. There he was with his nose in the ground, dead. Once again I left his body be and decided to go to the third brother.
This must have been the genius. He actually built his house out of bricks. I knocked on his door and from inside I heard a yell, “Get out of here!.” I tried explaining why I needed the cup of sugar but only got an insult to my grandmother from him. That was when I got mad. I attempted to calm myself but I had to get my anger out, so I kicked his door. Unlike the newspapers and stories say, I only kicked his door. It hurt me but I was able to stop my anger and then I walked away. Later that night I was arrested by two policemen after they found the remains of the pigs that I supposedly ate. Now that I think about it, before I left my house my brother was with me and starving but after I came home he had a bigger belly.”
