And the item beside you is....

[~Eletric~Rocket~]

A sock >:[
 EDIT: Makes my dog happy.

[Ad Bot]

[SuperBryno]

My iPhone and a LEGO starfighter.

[Nikki]

I picked up a booklet of coupons from my local mall.

Barricade/Lock your door? Maybe if I jam it into my lock...
Satisify your thrist? Staples aren't tasty
Make a hell of a noise? No
Use as a paper weight? It's paper 

Make someone happy? If someone likes malls, maybe.
Pretend to be a redneck farmer? Not sure Rednecks like "coopuns"
Make a interesting game? Find the coupon for a free big mac!

And finally.

Paint a picture? Doubt it

[Jubel]

I picked up a:
Tape Measure


Barricade/Lock your door?
With Effort.

Satisify your thrist?
If I feel like drinking blood.

Make a hell of a noise?
Oh yeah.

Use as a paper weight?
Not really.

Make someone happy?
Uh, If they were desperate for a Christmas gift.

Pretend to be a redneck farmer?
I don't need to pretend.

Make a interesting game?
Catch it before it disappears.

[Pew446]

Item
Wireless Home Phone
Barricade/Lock your door?
Nah
Satisify your thrist?
Nope. Well I guess I could order a soda... and a pizza :D!
Make a hell of a noise?
Yep
Use as a paper weight?
Yep
Make someone happy?
I could chitchat :3
Pretend to be a redneck farmer?
Well... I guess I could talk to myself pretending to be a redneck farmer... On the phone
Make a interesting game?
Beep Beep Beep
Paint a picture?
No. Unless the antennae had paint on it. :P