Someone once suggested to me once when I got a nose bleed,
"Hey, why not try sticking your face into some snow?".
Then I said,
"There is no snow you handicap."
"Ah yes, I see. You are delusional. Here, take a bandage instead."
Then he bent down and picked something up.
"That isn't a bandage.. It's a piece of tape covered in dirt."
Then I punched him in the nose and he started whining. I said to him,
"Why not put some snow on it?"
Then I walked away.