No offense to anyone, but I find these topics highly annoying.
Some times I'll care, But your asking a bunch of 10 year olds that don't give a forget, not some counselor that gives you advice.
If your going to talk to somebody, don't do it here.
I get that your trying to get it out there and express it. It's very hard to go through something very hard alone, but it's just not a good idea to look for advice here.