Randumbness - Random story generator~!

[ghost_man]

   It all started when our (former research) star, Badspot the Hobo, woke up in a swamp. It was the sixth time it had happened. Feeling really concerned, Badspot the Hobo poked a ninja star, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Suddenly cheered up by the Hamtaro theme song, he realized that his beloved iWitness was missing!  Immediately he called his lover, SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace. Badspot the Hobo had known SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace for (plus or minus) 1.2 billion years, the majority of which were curious ones.  SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace was unique. She was intelligent though sometimes a little... dimwitted. Badspot the Hobo called her anyway, for the situation was urgent.

   SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace picked up to a very unctuous Badspot the Hobo. SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace calmly assured him that most 3-legged wallabies sneeze before mating, yet Indonesian devil cats usually surreptitiously yawn *after* mating. She had no idea what that meant; she was only concerned with distracting Badspot the Hobo.  Why was SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace trying to distract Badspot the Hobo?  Because she had snuck out from Badspot the Hobo's with the iWitness only four days prior.  It was a enticing little iWitness... how could she resist?

   It didn't take long before Badspot the Hobo got back to the subject at hand: his iWitness. SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace sighed. Relunctantly, SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace invited him over, assuring him they'd find the iWitness. Badspot the Hobo grabbed his elephant and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace realized that she was in trouble. She had to find a place to hide the iWitness and she had to do it aimlessly. She figured that if Badspot the Hobo took the time machine, she had take at least six minutes before Badspot the Hobo would get there.  But if he took the Flying Wrench?  Then SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace would be ridiculously screwed.

   Before she could come up with any reasonable ideas, SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace was interrupted by six stupid snake clouds that were lured by her iWitness. SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace yawned; 'Not again', she thought. Feeling stunned, she thoughtfully reached for her potato and aimlessly deflowered every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the secret vineyard, squealing with discontent. She exhaled with relief.  That's when she heard the Flying Wrench rolling up.  It was Badspot the Hobo.

----o0o----

   As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Texaco to pick up a 12-pack of dangerous oil-soaked rags, so he knew he was running late.  With a inept leap, Badspot the Hobo was out of the Flying Wrench and went scandalously jaunting toward SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace's front door.  Meanwhile inside,  SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace was panicking.  Not thinking, she tossed the iWitness into a box of gerbils and then slid the box behind her time machine. SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace was displeased but at least the iWitness was concealed.  The doorbell rang.

   'Come in,' SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace indiscriminately purred.  With a quick push, Badspot the Hobo opened the door.  'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some annoying spite-toting jerk in a entrepreneur  fresh, candy-painted 'Lac,' he lied.  'It's fine,' SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace assured him. Badspot the Hobo took a seat alarmingly close to where SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace had hidden the iWitness. SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace sighed trying unsuccessfully to hide her nervousness.  'Uhh, can I get you anything?' she blurted.  But Badspot the Hobo was distracted. A few freaknasty minutes later, SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace noticed a funny-smelling look on Badspot the Hobo's face. Badspot the Hobo slowly opened his mouth to speak.

   '...What's that smell?'

   SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace felt a stabbing pain in her shin when Badspot the Hobo asked this.  In a moment of disbelief, she realized that she had hidden the iWitness right by her oscillating fan. 'Wh-what?  I don't smell anything..!'  A lie.  A funny-smelling look started to form on Badspot the Hobo's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's potatos from when she used to have pet legless puppies.  She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Badspot the Hobo nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace could react, Badspot the Hobo aimlessly lunged toward the box and opened it.  The iWitness was plainly in view.

   Badspot the Hobo stared at SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace for what what must've been four microseconds. Before anyone could take off their pants, SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace groped wildly in Badspot the Hobo's direction, clearly desperate. Badspot the Hobo grabbed the iWitness and bolted for the door.  It was locked. SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace let out a sassy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Badspot the Hobo,' she rebuked. SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace always had been a little stupid, so Badspot the Hobo knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace did something crazy, like... start chucking bananas at her or something. A few freaknasty minutes later, he gripped his iWitness tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

   SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace looked on, blankly. 'What the hell?  That seemed excessive.  The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Badspot the Hobo. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame five days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly she felt a tinge of concern for Badspot the Hobo. 'Oh.  You ..okay?' Still silence. SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace walked over to the window and looked down. Badspot the Hobo was gone.

----o0o----

   Just yonder, Badspot the Hobo was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace's place. Badspot the Hobo had severely hurt his armpit during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength.  Another pack of feral snake clouds suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the iWitness.  One by one they latched on to Badspot the Hobo.  Already weakened from his injury, Badspot the Hobo yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed.  The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of snake clouds running off with his iWitness.

   But then God came down with His attractive smile and restored Badspot the Hobo's iWitness. Feeling angered, God smote the snake clouds for their injustice.  Then He got in His time machine and bolted away with the fortitude of  half a million legless puppies running from a misshapen pack of 3-legged wallabies. Badspot the Hobo shimmied with joy when he saw this. His iWitness was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in four minutes his favorite TV show,  Justin Bieber's Show, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When man-eating capybaras meet rusty razor blade'). Badspot the Hobo was excited. And so, everyone except SpaceCowboyFromOuterSpace and a few pipe bomb-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.


*** L337 Story Generator v1.0
*** Written by Derek Clark.  Copyright © www.the-elite.net ~ 2004-present
*** Forever pwning with earnest.

[Ad Bot]

[sorrel]

 It all started when our uber geek, Ikethegeneric, woke up in a bush. It was the seventh time it had happened. Feeling excessively exasperated, Ikethegeneric stroked a gerbil, thinking it would make her feel better (but as usual, it did not). Before anyone could take off their pants, she realized that her beloved snake was missing!  Immediately she called her former lay, Mr.T. Ikethegeneric had known Mr.T for (plus or minus) 1.2 billion years, the majority of which were saucy ones.  Mr.T was unique. He was intelligent though sometimes a little... pestering. Ikethegeneric called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

   Mr.T picked up to a very ecstatic Ikethegeneric. Mr.T calmly assured her that most albino cats turn red before mating, yet South American hissing sloths usually indiscriminately yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Ikethegeneric.  Why was Mr.T trying to distract Ikethegeneric?  Because he had snuck out from Ikethegeneric's with the snake only seven days prior.  It was a curious little snake... how could he resist?

   It didn't take long before Ikethegeneric got back to the subject at hand: her snake. Mr.T sighed. Relunctantly, Mr.T invited her over, assuring her they'd find the snake. Ikethegeneric grabbed her giraffe and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Mr.T realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the snake and he had to do it thoughtfully. He figured that if Ikethegeneric took the tricked out go kart, he had take at least four minutes before Ikethegeneric would get there.  But if she took the Sailmobile?  Then Mr.T would be very screwed.

   Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Mr.T was interrupted by five funny-smelling wallabys that were lured by his snake. Mr.T turned red; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling angered, he deftly reached for his banana and fearlessly hit every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief.  That's when he heard the Sailmobile rolling up.  It was Ikethegeneric.

----o0o----

   As she pulled up, she felt a sense of urgency. She had had to make an unscheduled stop at Texaco to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so she knew she was running late.  With a inept leap, Ikethegeneric was out of the Sailmobile and went surreptitiously jaunting toward Mr.T's front door.  Meanwhile inside,  Mr.T was panicking.  Not thinking, he tossed the snake into a box of dangerous oil-soaked rags and then slid the box behind his hippopotamus. Mr.T was exasperated but at least the snake was concealed.  The doorbell rang.

   'Come in,' Mr.T flamboyantly purred.  With a inept push, Ikethegeneric opened the door.  'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some annoying self-righteous ass in a amphibious vehicle,' she lied.  'It's fine,' Mr.T assured her. Ikethegeneric took a seat mysteriously distant from where Mr.T had hidden the snake. Mr.T shuddered trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness.  'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted.  But Ikethegeneric was distracted. Like a drunken sailor at happy hour, Mr.T noticed a dimwitted look on Ikethegeneric's face. Ikethegeneric slowly opened her mouth to speak.

   '...What's that smell?'

   Mr.T felt a stabbing pain in his double chin when Ikethegeneric asked this.  In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the snake right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what?  I don't smell anything..!'  A lie.  A annoying look started to form on Ikethegeneric's face. She turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's wolverines from when she used to have pet long-haired sea monkeys.  She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Ikethegeneric nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Mr.T could react, Ikethegeneric aimlessly lunged toward the box and opened it.  The snake was plainly in view.

   Ikethegeneric stared at Mr.T for what what must've been six days. Heart filled with earnest fortitude, Mr.T groped explosively in Ikethegeneric's direction, clearly desperate. Ikethegeneric grabbed the snake and bolted for the door.  It was locked. Mr.T let out a electric chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Ikethegeneric,' he rebuked. Mr.T always had been a little stupid, so Ikethegeneric knew that reconciliation was not an option; she needed to escape before Mr.T did something crazy, like... start chucking dull pencils at him or something. Suddenly cheered up by the Hamtaro theme song, she gripped her snake tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

   Mr.T looked on, blankly. 'What the hell?  That seemed excessive.  The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Ikethegeneric. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame two days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Ikethegeneric. 'Oh.  You ..okay?' Still silence. Mr.T walked over to the window and looked down. Ikethegeneric was gone.

----o0o----

   Just yonder, Ikethegeneric was struggling to make her way through the magical cornfield behind Mr.T's place. Ikethegeneric had severely hurt her shin during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength.  Another pack of feral wallabys suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the snake.  One by one they latched on to Ikethegeneric.  Already weakened from her injury, Ikethegeneric yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed.  The last thing she saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of wallabys running off with her snake.

   But then God came down with His attractive smile and restored Ikethegeneric's snake. Feeling displeased, God smote the wallabys for their injustice.  Then He got in His spaceship and blasted away with the fortitude of  200,000 3-legged wallabies running from a enormous pack of venomous koalas. Ikethegeneric skipped with joy when she saw this. Her snake was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes her favorite TV show,  So Random, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When South American hissing sloths meet ebola'). Ikethegeneric was giddy. And so, everyone except Mr.T and a few rusty razor blade-toting man-eating capybaras lived blissfully happy, forever after.

<3 you ike

[Mushroom man]

Nobody wants to hear the whole story, so here's the best part.

 Mushroomman stared at Gimby the Prostitute for what what must've been three hours. Heart filled with earnest fortitude, Gimby the Prostitute groped indiscriminately in Mushroomman's direction, clearly desperate. Mushroomman grabbed the left testicle and bolted for the door.  It was locked. Gimby the Prostitute let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Mushroomman,' she rebuked. Gimby the Prostitute always had been a little pestering, so Mushroomman knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Gimby the Prostitute did something crazy, like... start chucking dull pencils at her or something. Before anyone could take off their pants, he gripped his left testicle tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

[BBOY]

  It all started when our uber geek, BBOY, woke up in a lemur-infested moor. It was the first time it had happened. Feeling alarmingly stunned, BBOY groped a dangerous oil-soaked rag, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved fetus was missing!  Immediately he called his bed-friend, Dixon Dyaz. BBOY had known Dixon Dyaz for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were enticing ones.  Dixon Dyaz was unique. He was intelligent though sometimes a little... pestering. BBOY called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

   Dixon Dyaz picked up to a very mad BBOY. Dixon Dyaz calmly assured him that most albino cats belch before mating, yet 3-legged wallabies usually charismatically sigh *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting BBOY.  Why was Dixon Dyaz trying to distract BBOY?  Because he had snuck out from BBOY's with the fetus only four days prior.  It was a enticing little fetus... how could he resist?

   It didn't take long before BBOY got back to the subject at hand: his fetus. Dixon Dyaz grimaced. Relunctantly, Dixon Dyaz invited him over, assuring him they'd find the fetus. BBOY grabbed his whale and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Dixon Dyaz realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the fetus and he had to do it skillfully. He figured that if BBOY took the amphibious vehicle, he had take at least ten minutes before BBOY would get there.  But if he took the Large flying snake?  Then Dixon Dyaz would be very screwed.

   Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Dixon Dyaz was interrupted by nine clueless EAGLEs that were lured by his fetus. Dixon Dyaz belched; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling relieved, he carefully reached for his ninja star and randomly poked every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the secret vineyard, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief.  That's when he heard the Large flying snake rolling up.  It was BBOY.

----o0o----

   As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Big Lots to pick up a 12-pack of carrots, so he knew he was running late.  With a hasty leap, BBOY was out of the Large flying snake and went earnestly jaunting toward Dixon Dyaz's front door.  Meanwhile inside,  Dixon Dyaz was panicking.  Not thinking, he tossed the fetus into a box of bananas and then slid the box behind his elephant. Dixon Dyaz was displeased but at least the fetus was concealed.  The doorbell rang.

   'Come in,' Dixon Dyaz indiscriminately purred.  With a careful push, BBOY opened the door.  'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some dimwitted social outcast in a entrepreneur  fresh, candy-painted 'Lac,' he lied.  'It's fine,' Dixon Dyaz assured him. BBOY took a seat ridiculously far from where Dixon Dyaz had hidden the fetus. Dixon Dyaz shuddered trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness.  'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted.  But BBOY was distracted. With fist clenched and teeth gnashed, Dixon Dyaz noticed a annoying look on BBOY's face. BBOY slowly opened his mouth to speak.

   '...What's that smell?'

   Dixon Dyaz felt a stabbing pain in his shin when BBOY asked this.  In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the fetus right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what?  I don't smell anything..!'  A lie.  A funny-smelling look started to form on BBOY's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's dangerous oil-soaked rags from when she used to have pet 3-legged wallabies.  She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. BBOY nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Dixon Dyaz could react, BBOY recklessly lunged toward the box and opened it.  The fetus was plainly in view.

   BBOY stared at Dixon Dyaz for what what must've been eleven seconds. Ever so extemperaneously, Dixon Dyaz groped indiscriminately in BBOY's direction, clearly desperate. BBOY grabbed the fetus and bolted for the door.  It was locked. Dixon Dyaz let out a eccentric chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, BBOY,' he rebuked. Dixon Dyaz always had been a little clueless, so BBOY knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Dixon Dyaz did something crazy, like... start chucking ninja stars at him or something. Ever so extemperaneously, he gripped his fetus tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

   Dixon Dyaz looked on, blankly. 'What the hell?  That seemed excessive.  The other door was open, you know.' Silence from BBOY. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for BBOY. 'Oh.  You ..okay?' Still silence. Dixon Dyaz walked over to the window and looked down. BBOY was gone.

----o0o----

   Just yonder, BBOY was struggling to make his way through the bush behind Dixon Dyaz's place. BBOY had severely hurt his kidney during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength.  Another pack of feral EAGLEs suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the fetus.  One by one they latched on to BBOY.  Already weakened from his injury, BBOY yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed.  The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of EAGLEs running off with his fetus.

   But then God came down with His attractive smile and restored BBOY's fetus. Feeling worried, God smote the EAGLEs for their injustice.  Then He got in His tricked out go kart and whizzed away with the fortitude of  550,000 disease-carrying chipmunks running from a shrunken pack of man-eating capybaras. BBOY tripped with joy when he saw this. His fetus was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in three minutes his favorite TV show,  Bronies are cigarettets, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When legless puppies meet rusty razor blade'). BBOY was contented. And so, everyone except Dixon Dyaz and a few contraceptive-toting long-haired sea monkeys lived blissfully happy, forever after.


*** L337 Story Generator v1.0
*** Written by Derek Clark.  Copyright © www.the-elite.net ~ 2004-present
*** Forever pwning with earnest.


forget me this happened last week.

[IkeTheGeneric]

   It all started when our adventure-loving...adventurer, IkeTheGeneric, woke up in a swamp. It was the first time it had happened. Feeling excessively concerned, IkeTheGeneric hit a carrot, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Before anyone could take off their pants, he realized that his beloved Other Rock was missing!  Immediately he called his former lay, Hillary Clinton. IkeTheGeneric had known Hillary Clinton for (plus or minus) 200,000 years, the majority of which were curious ones.  Hillary Clinton was unique. She was charismatic though sometimes a little... funny-smelling. IkeTheGeneric called her anyway, for the situation was urgent.

   Hillary Clinton picked up to a very unhappy IkeTheGeneric. Hillary Clinton calmly assured him that most long-haired sea monkeys yawn before mating, yet venomous koalas usually earnestly sneeze *after* mating. She had no idea what that meant; she was only concerned with distracting IkeTheGeneric.  Why was Hillary Clinton trying to distract IkeTheGeneric?  Because she had snuck out from IkeTheGeneric's with the Other Rock only six days prior.  It was a striking little Other Rock... how could she resist?

   It didn't take long before IkeTheGeneric got back to the subject at hand: his Other Rock. Hillary Clinton yawned. Relunctantly, Hillary Clinton invited him over, assuring him they'd find the Other Rock. IkeTheGeneric grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Hillary Clinton realized that she was in trouble. She had to find a place to hide the Other Rock and she had to do it skillfully. She figured that if IkeTheGeneric took the tricked out go kart, she had take at least ten minutes before IkeTheGeneric would get there.  But if he took the Rock?  Then Hillary Clinton would be exceedingly screwed.

   Before she could come up with any reasonable ideas, Hillary Clinton was interrupted by two pestering Mammoth-Sized Marmots that were lured by her Other Rock. Hillary Clinton sneezed; 'Not again', she thought. Feeling angered, she aggressively reached for her carrot and thoughtfully deflowered every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the magical cornfield, squealing with discontent. She exhaled with relief.  That's when she heard the Rock rolling up.  It was IkeTheGeneric.

----o0o----

   As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Seven-Eleven to pick up a 12-pack of bananas, so he knew he was running late.  With a skillful leap, IkeTheGeneric was out of the Rock and went earnestly jaunting toward Hillary Clinton's front door.  Meanwhile inside,  Hillary Clinton was panicking.  Not thinking, she tossed the Other Rock into a box of dangerous oil-soaked rags and then slid the box behind her time machine. Hillary Clinton was concerned but at least the Other Rock was concealed.  The doorbell rang.

   'Come in,' Hillary Clinton exotically purred.  With a heroic push, IkeTheGeneric opened the door.  'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some selfish genocidal maniac in a spaceship,' he lied.  'It's fine,' Hillary Clinton assured him. IkeTheGeneric took a seat ridiculously far from where Hillary Clinton had hidden the Other Rock. Hillary Clinton sneezed trying unsuccessfully to hide her nervousness.  'Uhh, can I get you anything?' she blurted.  But IkeTheGeneric was distracted. Ever so extemperaneously, Hillary Clinton noticed a selfish look on IkeTheGeneric's face. IkeTheGeneric slowly opened his mouth to speak.

   '...What's that smell?'

   Hillary Clinton felt a stabbing pain in her p-spot when IkeTheGeneric asked this.  In a moment of disbelief, she realized that she had hidden the Other Rock right by her oscillating fan. 'Wh-what?  I don't smell anything..!'  A lie.  A selfish look started to form on IkeTheGeneric's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's dull pencils from when she used to have pet legless puppies.  She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. IkeTheGeneric nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Hillary Clinton could react, IkeTheGeneric aimlessly lunged toward the box and opened it.  The Other Rock was plainly in view.

   IkeTheGeneric stared at Hillary Clinton for what what must've been nine nanoseconds. Heart filled with earnest fortitude, Hillary Clinton groped indiscriminately in IkeTheGeneric's direction, clearly desperate. IkeTheGeneric grabbed the Other Rock and bolted for the door.  It was locked. Hillary Clinton let out a curious chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, IkeTheGeneric,' she rebuked. Hillary Clinton always had been a little abrasive, so IkeTheGeneric knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Hillary Clinton did something crazy, like... start chucking dangerous oil-soaked rags at her or something. Before anyone could take off their pants, he gripped his Other Rock tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

   Hillary Clinton looked on, blankly. 'What the hell?  That seemed excessive.  The other door was open, you know.' Silence from IkeTheGeneric. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame seven days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly she felt a tinge of concern for IkeTheGeneric. 'Oh.  You ..okay?' Still silence. Hillary Clinton walked over to the window and looked down. IkeTheGeneric was gone.

----o0o----

   Just yonder, IkeTheGeneric was struggling to make his way through the foxy forest behind Hillary Clinton's place. IkeTheGeneric had severely hurt his ear during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength.  Another pack of feral Mammoth-Sized Marmots suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the Other Rock.  One by one they latched on to IkeTheGeneric.  Already weakened from his injury, IkeTheGeneric yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed.  The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Mammoth-Sized Marmots running off with his Other Rock.

   About four hours later, IkeTheGeneric awoke, his double chin throbbing.  It was dark and IkeTheGeneric did not know where he was.  Deep in the enchanting imaginery desert, IkeTheGeneric was alarmingly lost. Suddenly inspired by the wise teachings of Confuscious, he remembered that his Other Rock was taken by the Mammoth-Sized Marmots. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life.  That's when, to his horror, a oversized Mammoth-Sized Marmot emerged from the disease-infested jungle.  It was the alpha Mammoth-Sized Marmot. IkeTheGeneric opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the Mammoth-Sized Marmot sunk its teeth into IkeTheGeneric's ear. With a faint groan, the life escaped from IkeTheGeneric's lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.

   Less than four miles away, Hillary Clinton was entombed by anguish over the loss of the Other Rock.  'MY PRECIOUS!!' she cried, as she reached for a sharpened dull pencil.  With a calculated thrust, she buried it deeply into her taint.  As the room began to fade to black, she thought about IkeTheGeneric... wishing she had found the courage to tell him that she loved him.  But she would die alone that day.  All that remained was the Other Rock that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise.  And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant Mammoth-Sized Marmots, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come.  Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead.  So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'(

LOLz!!1


*** L337 Story Generator v1.0
*** Written by Derek Clark.  Copyright © www.the-elite.net ~ 2004-present
*** Forever pwning with earnest.