Writing A Book - Need Help

[comedy101experiments]

Hello everyone, I am writing a book, here is what it is so far:

CHAPTER 1

     I stepped outside on a hot, sunny school day, only to see five police cars and an ambulance waiting outside at what looked like a crime scene.  I saw my second closest friend, Allen, being pulling into the ambulance, and some cops were putting crime scene tape around the spot in which has a blood outlined figure that looked like it was drawn, or painted, onto the pavement.  I walked over to see what had happened, and what I saw was: my friend's mom weeping like she had lost her diamond ring, a gun on the ground next to the blood, some cat hairs, a potato, and some white surgery gloves....
TO BE CONTINUED...
Genre:
Murder Mystery
How Many Chapters:
Two MEGA long ones, one chapter (first half) show the story from my point of view, next chapter (second half) shows the story from my best friend's point of view!
Extra Details:
My name is not revealed until the end.  It is my second closest friend that dies.
ASK FOR MORE INFO BELOW AND IT WILL BE ADDED TO OP ASAP

DOES ANYONE HAVE TIPS FOR ME?

[Ad Bot]

[Comatose]

One tip for you; keep your writing interesting and exciting. Not enough action leaves the reader bored, but too much of it makes it seem that you're trying too hard to keep your reader's focus. Try to experiment a bit.

[comedy101experiments]

Thanks for that. I will give what I have written so far in a minute :)

[Comatose]

Also, I would recommend that the story not be two LONG chapters, but rather a couple chapters spread along two acts or parts.

[comedy101experiments]

Also, I would recommend that the story not be two LONG chapters, but rather a couple chapters spread along two acts or parts.

Well, should I make it into two separate books, or just keep it all in one?  Also, I added the beggining to the OP.

[Skyra]

Well, should I make it into two separate books, or just keep it all in one?  Also, I added the beggining to the OP.

This might make a good two books. Also nice intro!

[Comatose]

Well, should I make it into two separate books, or just keep it all in one?  Also, I added the beggining to the OP.

I don't know. That's something you should figure out on your own.

Also, great intro.

[Night Fox]

yes I do have a tip for you
don't make it first-person

[Jairo]

yes I do have a tip for you
don't make it first-person

this
so much loving this

also, you may want to check on how to make your writing more vivid than derp derp this is what I see derp derp this is how they feel derp derp this is what I believe
make it all
holy tits that guy's dead!
/sherlock holmes moment go with his condescending attitude
badass story achieved