So I have to write a story about a girl who lived during WWII for my history class, I figured i could get some feedback/criticism from you guys. Yes I know my write skills are not the best, that's why i'm trying to improve them. C:
It's pouring rain in downtown Chicago. Dad has been taking double shifts down at the armor factory, when is the home he has no energy. Mom has been looking for anyone who will hire women, unsuccessfully. It's been two months since Josh and Rodger were drafted into the war. Anne and I have been trying to do what we can around the house, but there's only so much to do. My friend, Marie and I have decided that we're going to go find a job at the factories. We figure since they're practically begging for workers with many of the men being gone that they will have to hire us. The money will really help our families, with only one worker in the family and four people to feed its tough.
"Alright let's go get in line Marie." I suggested
"Okay" Marie said, as we were waiting in line we started talking about the war, her cousin was drafted into service soon after my brothers. Marie and I are both 17, she doesn't have any brothers or sisters but she's part of our family as much as Anne. The men behind us would whisper and snicker about us being girls at a weapons factory. We both refuse to back down from the line; if we do then we will never be able to live it down. Once we reach the front of the line the registry people just laugh.
They said mockingly, "Go back home and play with your dolls girls, we need workers."
"We're the hardest working women around and willing to work on anything" we argued.
That's when Joey Johnson, a friend of my dad's pulled us both out of the line and out of the building. He said that we should go down to the arms factory on 31st street where they were hiring women and blacks. So we were off again, to 31st street.
After walking for block after block we got to the arms factory on 31st street. We saw a sign saying that all women and blacks wishing to get a job should enter through the side entrance. So that's what we did and as soon as we walked in we were almost knocked out by the smell. It was a mix of gun powder, machine oil and sweat. Lots of sweat. The building we were in now wasn't the main factory, or at least I didn’t think it was. We were in a long hallway when a large man who looked as though he was a giant saw us and began questioning us.
"Who are you?" He demanded
"I'm Jesse, this is Marie"
"what are you doing here"
"We're looking to get a job here"
"Well, honey you’re in the wrong place, I guess I'll have to take you to the registry."
"look" I said, "we are just following the signs, they said to go this way."
"Ah they're older than the war, you have to go to the building next to the main factory."
"alright we can find our way there," I said.
So once again we walked to the building. This building looked as I'd it had be built a hundred years ago. The windows were boarded up and the roof sagged. The doors were open so we went in. We found the place where we would sign up for a job, but it was completely empty except for an old man, who looked as though he was dead. We walked over to him and asked him where we could get jobs.
"well right here little lady, what do you want to do?"
"I'm a fast learner so whatever pays the most, sir. I can do anything that a man can do."
He looked at Marie and asked, "what bout you?"
"I just need a job, where ever I'm needed most. But I have an attention to detail, so if there's somewhere that requires a special touch I can try my hand at it." Marie quietly said.
"Alright you" he pointed at me, "you will work in ammunition organization. You are to report to Robert Lewis tomorrow at eight o'clock." "And you will be working in arms assembly. You should report to Jason Engle at seven-thirty o'clock."
That's all i have right now, i will post the rest of it once i finish it. :)
positive/negative feedback is welcome.
