Author Topic: If real life was made by EA  (Read 2918 times)

me: *wakes up* ah what a good morning. time to go eat-

EA: BUY THE BREAKFAST DLC PACK NOW! PANCAKES, BACON, EGGS, ETC. ONLY FOR $39.99!

me: what no, i'll just go out and buy it-

EA: BUY FANCY RESTAURANT ACCESS PASSES IN A DLC PACK ONLY $25.99!

me: actually i don't feel hungry anymore i'm gonna go use the bath-

EA: BUY THE TOILET DLC NOW! ONLY $15.99!

me: nevermind, i actually want to see what the weather is tod-

EA: STOP RIGHT THERE! BUY THE TELEVISION DLC NOW! ONLY $50.99! 75% DISCOUNT ONLY TODAY!

EA: ALSO BUY THE TELEVISION CHANNEL DLC PACK NOW! CARTOON NETWORK, NICKELODEON, ADULT SWIM, ETC. ONLY $30.99!

me: NO! i'm going to take a bus to-

EA: BUY THE BUS ACCESS PASS DLC NOW! ONLY $15.99!

me: i'm deaf now

EA: BUY OUR LIMITED-TIME MEDICINE DLC PACK NOW! ONLY $60.99!

me: kill me

EA: BUY THE SUICIDAL DLC PACK NOW! DIE IN FIREWORKS, HOWEVER YOU WANT IT! ONLY $35.99!

me: *gunshot*

EA: BUY THE CASUAL GUN DLC PACK NOW! ONLY $29.99!

« Last Edit: March 19, 2013, 05:38:49 PM by Waru »

our currency would be simoleans

Sword Art Online except you have to pay to level up and pay a monthly subscription or you die and you have to pay to sleep and pay to even be allowed to own property and have to pay to leave town and have to pay to go to the store and have to pay for basic rights and if you don't pay, all crimes against you are legal. Also with 100% less awesome. Also Simoleans.