I only suggested blue would make a better thread than the other.
It is good but I have seen better.
Here is some advice-
Create a Title and or Logo to add for your thread, people pay more attention when they see something that catches their eye.
Arrange it so that you have neat sections for each thing in your clan, make sure to bold and resize the text of your sections.
Form meeting servers/places for your clan, then post them up on your thread.
Collect important information about your members before they join, make an application.
Have everything planned out for your clan, do not just randomly post a clan.
Form allies, make friends, and have some people in your clan before it starts doing big things.
Example for an application:
IGN:
BLID:
Why you want to join:
Time Zone: