I've always loved Tom vs. Bruce in the back of Computer Gaming World, and I've always wanted to start a blog detailing my exploits through different games in the same style. However, I really had no one that I know who could play a game with me and be the other person.
Fortunately, one of my friends (Fox) is really into games. Not particularly "game" games (although he does play Urban Terror), but textrp. Last time we met, he was telling me all about it, he was doing some sort of Star Wars thing. It sounded like it might be cool, so I talked with him through IM about it the next day. After answering a couple questions, he said "let's practice a duel". The following is how that duel went, in true TvB style. Let me know what you think.
Also, let me remind you that I was only in this for laughs, as I think that this has to be the nerdiest thing ever.
The Game: TextRP??
The Players: Duck vs. Fox
Duck: Okay, so this is supposed to be Star Wars, right?
Fox: Yes. My guy is a 19 year-old Padawan from the Grey Order of Jedi. He has two sabers.
Duck: We haven't even started the duel, and I already am lost. What's a grey order?
Fox: They use both Dark and Light. Not Jedi, not Sith, just on the fence.
Duck: So he's both a jedi and not a jedi?
Fox: Whatever. Who is your guy?
Duck: I'm a 57 year-old guy who breathes weird and is the father of somebody.
Fox: Okay. Here we go:
Nyden walks coolly into the arena, feeling his saber on his left side.
Duck: Okay, I'm already weirded out. Besides, I thought your guy had two swords?
Fox: They are sabers, not swords, and yes, I have two. Just try to continue.
Mr. Vader walks to the middle of the arena, his audible breathing echoing throughout the room.
Fox: See? That was pretty good!
Nyden feels the familiar click of his orange saber as it turns on. It's radiant light fills the room.
Mr. Vader does that "bring it on" gesture from Street Fighter.
Fox: Try not to do that.
Duck: Whatever.
Nyden rushes at Vader, putting his shoulder into the coming blow. As he is rushing, he force pushes on Vader's face.
Duck: So you could say that I got face-pushed?
Vader uses the momentum of the face-push to flip backwards, landing a clean kick at the rushing Nyden.
Fox: Wait, you can't do that. You can only say that you are kicking, but not that the kick landed.
Duck: So, according to you, fighting does not actually occur in a duel?
Fox: You'll see.
Nyden turns himself in mid-air to barely dodge the kick. As he lands, he swings his saber to try to cut Vader's foot off.
Vader flips back, blocking the blow as he lands upright.
Nyden goes for the legs, twirling the saber to make a swift cut at the knee.
Vader sees it not a second too late, and jumps up just in time to avoid it. As he comes down, he makes a huge downward swing at Nyden's exposed head.
Duck: Aha! Take that!
Fox: I have two sabers, remember?
Duck: Darn, I forgot that.
Nyden easily blocks the blow with his right saber as he continues to use the momentum of his failed leg attack to roll out of the way.
Duck: There was nothing easy about it.
Vader throws his saber, and guides it like a curveball into Nyden's partially exposed left side.
Nyden barely blocks it, and in retaliation throws his unguided saber at Vader while sending out a bolt of lightning in his direction just behind it.
Duck: Haha, I have you now!
Vader force-pulls the unguided saber toward him, points it at the lightning, and absorbs it with the saber, overloading it and shorting it out. He casually tosses the now-worthless weapon aside, and begins walking towards Nyden with an unseen grin on his face.
Fox: You can't do that either. Shorting out my equipment.
Duck: What do you mean? You just zapped your own saber with a lightning bolt.
Fox: My saber happens to be extremely well-built.
Duck: I'm sure.
Fox: I think you've got the basics by now.
Duck: So I win? Yay, I won!
Fox: No, we just ended it because you've got the basics down.
Duck: Besides, Darth Vader has to win everything because we are not at the sixth part yet. He has to survive until then. So I win. More importantly, you lose.
Fox: Whatever.
Game Over: Duck wins automatically
Please give me your feedback. Thanks.
