Author Topic: Inspiring Story  (Read 1054 times)

Attention Readers: This actually happened on Trenton's Server.
Credits: D.A.C.K as Mr. Blockhead (Block)
             superflaminninja as Super Flame (Flame)
             chaosmender as Chaos Mender (Chaos)
Chapter 1: The Beginning of Block, the master archer.
Hello, I am expecting you want a good story. Well, in this story. Be prepared for action, violence, and more.
This story takes place in medieval times, at the islands of Goona. It also starts as a sunny day. Block joins the server.
Block checks out Trenton's house, and decides to make a cave. Flame(shadow,for now), Trenton's son, didn't want to live with Trenton,
So ran off to join me. I trained him the best I could, but he turned evil. Into a shadow archer. He grew bigger and bigger,
And I figured out that Trenton was a mage. I sliced the shadow archer's head off, and he grew smaller. He ripped my island
Apart. And, yet again, I decided to make a new one. This time, a naked kid washed up on the beach. I had no idea who he
was or where he came from, but he thought that I was his DAD. I thought he was crazy. He told me his name was flame.
He even tried to get me to believe by threatening me with a bow. I had to push him off the island, and tell him to go over to Trenton's.
He came back anyways. I had to swing a hammer and hit his face with it to make him get even near it. Oh, Trenton. He told
Me to keep the little kid. I was astonished. Then, a big storm came... To Be Continued...

This sounds like its turning in to The Cay.



Please post some GOOD opinions, at least, please.

I'm sorry, this makes no sense. I could write better than this when I was eight.

"So then I join a server and
then we make stuff and this guy is Trenton but this guy is an evil archer and he gets really
big and Trenton is a wizard
and I cut off his head and so he shrinks and then he washes up again and I tell him that I am your father; together we will rule the galaxy and he's like
What NOOOOOOO and then I pushed him away but he
came back and I
hit him in the head to get him close which had somehow grown back even though I cut it off and then
resonance cascade blalaba"

« Last Edit: August 19, 2010, 10:43:03 AM by Blockoman »

Sounds like a family RP to me.

But in all seriousness, to make this story look nice is to cut down the size and use past tense.  Review a couple times too.  I personally think it is stuffty.

Chapter 1: The Beginning of Block, the master archer.
In medival times, Blockland didnt exist.
THE EHND


 :cookieMonster:

Attention Readers: This stuff actually happened.

Chapter 1: The Beginning of Block, the master archer.
Hello, I am expecting you want a good story. Well, in this story. Be prepared for action, violence, and more.
This story takes place in medieval times, at the islands of Goona. It also starts as a sunny day. Block joins the server.
Block checks out Trenton's house, and decides to make a cave. Flame(shadow,for now), Trenton's son, didn't want to live with Trenton,
So ran off to join me. I trained him the best I could, but he turned evil. Into a shadow archer. He grew bigger and bigger,
And I figured out that Trenton was a mage. I sliced the shadow archer's head off, and he grew smaller. He ripped my island
Apart. And, yet again, I decided to make a new one. This time, a naked kid washed up on the beach. I had no idea who he
was or where he came from, but he thought that I was his DAD. I thought he was crazy. He told me his name was flame.
He even tried to get me to believe by threatening me with a bow. I had to push him off the island, and tell him to go over to Trenton's.
He came back anyways. I had to swing a hammer and hit his face with it to make him get even near it. Oh, Trenton. He told
Me to keep the little kid. I was astonished. Then, a big storm came, so I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said "Fresh" and it had dice in the mirror. If anything, I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought "Nah, forget it, Yo Holmes! To Bel-Air!... To Be Continued...

loving  lol'd, dread