Writing Feedback

[keonesan]

Moved: http://forum.blockland.us/index.php?topic=128150.0

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[keonesan]

I just read through my work and I just realized that there's a huge lack of character and setting description. I guess I'll just go with the "use your imagination" bullstuff. :D

Anyways if for some reason you want to hear the rest of the story I guess I wouldn't mind improvising a next chapter.

[Qwepir]

It's interesting, but I don't know what's happening, like I just picked up a book and started reading from the middle.

[keonesan]

It's interesting, but I don't know what's happening, like I just picked up a book and started reading from the middle.

Yeah I know what you mean. Like I said, I noticed there was a lack of character and setting description. I wasn't really even aiming for a story anyways. More of an exert to get feedback.

[Dusty12]

It would be better in past tense.

[keonesan]

It would be better in past tense.

Really? I actually didn't even know I was typing in present tense. O_o

[Menen]

It would be better in past tense.

That.

and it needs Knots

[keonesan]

That.

and it needs Knots

Define?

[Menen]

Define?

 

[Unwritten Calender]

I like it.
A lot.

[keonesan]

...

[keonesan]

Well I just spoke with some friends and they felt the story was rushed. I agree but I can't really blame myself too much since it's just an exert and not mean to be a story. Would this be a good idea to convert into a story though?

[Qwepir]

Define?

You don't want to know.