Job Inquiry Letter

[matthewbim11]

I'm job hunting for my first job. What do you think of this letter I emailed to the owner of somewhere I want to work? I looked up a basic letter of inquiry and just changed the key information around. I removed said information for the purpose of identity protection.

Dear (their name),

My father, (fathers name), an old friend of the previous owner (he was a regular customer, he bought/sold sugar gliders and hedgehogs at (company name), suggested that I inquire about the possibility of openings. I am a sophomore at (school name), my bus drops me off at the (store name) across the street. I am turning 16 this February and would like to work at (company name) as my first job because it would be an interesting experience for me, unlike a mundane job such as working a fast food chain.

As previously stated, this would be my first job and I have little animal handling experience. I would appreciate the opportunity to discuss a training program with you and to provide further information on my candidacy. I can be reached anytime via my cell phone, (number).

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to speaking with you about this exciting opportunity.

Sincerely,

(my name)

[Ad Bot]

[Bisjac]

this is basically because you have no resume right?

[matthewbim11]

Yes.

[Bisjac]

a nooby non resume, resume.
the modern resume tries hard to be no more then 2 pages long.
and usually you shouldnt have all the long version details for previous job info. like supervisor name/what you were paid/any more exact a date then month-year/phone address. a resume LETTER like this dosnt need that crap. this isnt to say you shouldnt have all that info if you ever were filling out a resume online, them forms require it sometimes.


i would make it sound  little more personal, while still looking like a resume. the direct copy/paste sounds a little to form-like. when it should be more of a letter.
i think even without previous experience, this format still looks good. it kinda sells you as a serious person to, like you are ready to build it up lol.

also dont put your number at the end of a paragraph like that. there is still a format that you should use even without having had a job.

(Header)------------(info on the left side)
Bisjac Lastname
home address
phone number ~ email
-------------(invisible lines cuz a word doc would have a header)


(On a fuller resume, this part could be labeled "My Objective" as modern resumes tend to have this paragraph because a real cover page is BS in this day and age.) (but you can leave this paragraph without a head title for a non resume.)
To acquire a part time position in retail/customer service/semi skilled labor whatever, with (company) for the summer/through highschool, whatever.
blah blah (use some stuff from the thing you wrote already)

Abilities (dont use the word "skills") (this list is stuff relevant to the job you want)
 bulletlist\/
  * International mercenary
  * Present myself in a professional matter, to customers.
  * A+ certified
  * Money handling
  * Inventory/ordering experience
  * Capable of multitasking
   (kinda hard to BS a skillset when you cant specifically use previous work stuff.)

Extra skills/activities (non job-relevant stuff that just shows you are a well rounded person)
  * Suck richard for nickels
  * Currently volunteering for peta rescuing firefighting dogs
  * Proficient in all computer types, and all computer applications
  * Have a license to kill in colorado.

Employment, Education (combined sections cuz of NA)
- No previous employment. Currently attending Bitchtits High.

References (not job references) (this would be a good place to mention your friend or family that they may know)(try not to use family references that are not associated with that job) (use long time adult friends you may have had)(teachers? faculty) have a contact phone number for each one. emails suck.

[Bisjac]

managers/HR spend so little time really learning who you are based on the resume. they look for keywords that make them hate you (because everyone uses them to much and they are meaningless) or ones they like.

you gotta set the page up like they only have 30 seconds to review you. gotta lay that stuff out clearly.

and dont close with a thank you for consideration at the bottom. if you must say it, keep it in your paragraph up above in the "objective" section

[XR-7]

I've applied at like 15+ places and usually don't hear back.  I would have a resume but their whole online hiring process usually doesn't accept them.