Make cupcakes and crush viagra tablets and put them in the icing, we did this to a teacher once.
Before you do anything, make sure you're friends with a middle-aged woman, an adolescent male and female, and a male child, preferably around 6 years old. Everyone will wear formal clothing, except for the child, he will wear a diaper. Also, bring a relatively large boombox equipped with thrilling circus music. Lastly, everyone will need to be properly fed before the act, it will be important later on.Ask your college's theater professor to use the auditorium. Once he accepts, ask everyone in your residence area to come to the auditorium. Once everyone is seated, assert the audience with the members of your cast: Yourself staring as the father, the female adult as the mother, the adolescents as the brother and sister, and the 6 year old as the baby. Once your introduction is finished, now state "Welcome to our performance of The Aristocrats".Now immediately snap into character. The mother smiles and points to the son who hits play on the boombox. Upbeat circus music blares while you spin the daughter over, lift up her skirt and start licking her starfish. Then, the son lays down on the floor and opens his mouth and the mother tears off her pants, squats over his head, and starts stuffting all over him. You grab the baby, take off his diaper, and start stuffing your rooster with it. The son, still with his mother's stuff in his mouth, reaches for the baby and starts licking his tiny balls. Now the mother lays down on the floor while the daughter stands high up on a chair and starts pissing on everyone. Then, you and the son take the baby and start stuffing him head first in the mother's vagina, all while the daughter's piss rains down on everyone. Get the baby only half-way in so his legs will be kicking and flailing around. The son will finally take all his mother's stuff out of his mouth and smears it on everyone, while you stick your rooster in the baby's starfish and forget it while he's still in the mother's vagina, until you finally interject all over the baby, the mother, everyone.After you fully interject, get up and say "And now for our impersonation of the victims of September 11th". The whole family will start running around the auditorium, screaming and laughing while covered with stuff and piss and semen while screaming "Aaah, the baby's coming out, somebody help us!" repeatedly.Finally, the entire cast will run towards the center of the stage and yell "Ta-daaah!" The crowd screams in delight as you become renowned as God himself all throughout your campus.
