"911 what is your emergency?"
"This man stole my burger!"
"Say again?"
"This man ... STOLE my burger!"
"Can you describe him?"
"Caucasian in his 30s with stubble and brown hair. He was wearing a leather mask, a fedora, a black coat and a tie with a burger pattern."
"A tie with a burger pattern?"
"Yes. A tie with a burger pattern."
"Is this a joke?"
"No, I swear to God, this man just ... Just came out of nowhere and stole my burger!"